Trying to decide about TTC

[Dana-Alicia]

Wow I was just about to start a thread about this same subject... I also have very hard pregnancies, which makes me scared of a next pregnancy. I get so nausious I barely stayed out of the hospital as I didn't keep enough in but with meds we managed to keep the vomiting to only 3 times a day for 9 months, ugh. And my pelvic pains were so horrible it put me in a wheelchair for a year with each pregnancy (5 months into pregnancy and 7 months after baby is born) I have rheumatism and the infections are crippling. My first baby died during the pregnancy, my second baby has autism and ADHD and my third baby is only 2 yo and will be going to get observations to see if he also has autism and/or adhd. I'm exhausted, every day it feels like I'm running a marathon and I do not reach the finish line by loooong. So why do I want another baby? Not just a baby, but only a little girl. I'm only 30, but time is pressuring me as I'll only consider going Ht as I really want this to be my last pregnancy, I can not take anymore pregnancies or kids. But right now I'm still nursing our youngest, so no ivf for me and we have no money for ivf until next year or maybe even in 2 years. If ivf works for us, my two youngest kids would be 5 or 6 years apart! Ugh I just don't know what is the right thing to do for us, so can completely understand all the struggles you all have, it's so hard.

[Keshet]

It's amazing how much this can take over your brain! Good luck with your IUI! Are you doing HT swaying with it?

I am still going back and forth a bit. I know I want to try again. I know I would love a little girl for our family. I know I would love another little boy if that was what was meant to be. I do worry about the pregnancy which are always hard for me. And the exhaustion. But we will see!

I'm not really swaying. I'm controlling my calories and exercising more. But that is it. I'm not using any HT to select gender either. The reason is that I already failed IVF twice. My response to stimulation was bad. I could not get many embryos past day 3, and the one embryo that I got at my last cycle to PGD was abnormal. I went to another Dr. In another clinic who basically said that for me, my age is the only limiting factor. Most of my eggs are abnormal at my age. So it may take 3 or 4 more cycles to find the golden egg. I don't have the money for 3-4 more IVF cycles. So that is the main reason I am switching to IUi. She also told me that the PGD process is hard on the embryos as well. A mixed quality embryo in the lab that might not make it to day 5 in the lab, but could potentially make it the human body. If I was younger I would have tried more IVF. But at my age and my IVf history, I don't feel like I have that option anymore. I don't know what else I could do to sway with IUI. I have been trying to sway and had a miscarriage. Other than that miscarriage, I have not been able to get pregnant for a number of months, which Is why I went for iUI--not to waste any more time. I think that just getting pregnant will be a gift at this point.

Good luck to you. I hear what you are saying about the exhaustion. It terrifies me too.

[Jamie86]

Thank you all so much! I'm sorry you are struggling with decisions as well but it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

My sons having autism and ADHD and my daughter, so far, has been the easiest baby and toddler so that makes me feel even more desperate for a girl this time. Even though logically I know that it's about personality and girls aren't "easier" than boys but since that has been my experience it's hard to get it out of my head. Not to mention we do have an increased "risk" of having another child with autism and that goes down a bit if we have a girl. You ladies have helped put that into perspective for me by helping me remember every pregnancy, no matter the gender, is a gift.

We are going to be trying again and I have started to do the same light away I did last time. I have anxiety and if I get too obsessed with swaying I know it will defeat the purpose because I will stress so much and sway blue. My husband is convinced we will have another girl and doesn't even give it a second thought. But I will say he has been right every time. With our 1st he wouldn't even talk about girl names because he *knew* it was a boy. With the 2nd he had no preference and didn't say much about gender and we did talk about both. And then from the moment we conceived our 3rd he would only talk about girl names and even bought girl outfits as soon as I was pregnant. I was nervous because I thought that would make it harder if it was a boy but DH was right again so let's hope he's right this time too.

Good luck to all of you as well! I'm going to try and get back involved on here for support. Although it might be kind of difficult, it had taken me 30minutes to type this because I keep having to stop to address my little ones so forgive me for typos and just plain bad writing.

[Jamie86]

I wanted to share a few pictures with you ladies of my family (so far )

[atomic sagebrush]

Lovely family!!

I won't butt in here but I did want to mention one thing- my daughter is NOT my easiest child LOL!

[Jamie86]

Thanks so much atomic! And thanks for the perspective I definitely know several families where that is the case and that is something I'm finding oddly comforting. I guess it makes me feel more like things will be fine either way and each child is unique so matter the gender we will be getting a new unique personality.

[beingmommy]

Jamie, your kids are beautiful! I am glad to hear you are going to try again. Even though things are hard and have been hard for us I keep finding that deciding to have more kids brings on this lovely hopeful feeling about life in general. It is helping carry me through some of my fears.

I keep hoping that if we had one last little babe and it was a girl she'd be a sweet little easy one. I know, though, that you can never tell! My DS2 who seems NT so far has been super high needs. Much higher than my DS1 with ASD. DS1 seemed high needs when he was a baby but DS2 is so much more! Whew!

We still haven't fully decided if we will try for one more but DH is getting more on board with it and I think it is a real possibility. But we wouldn't start TTC until next year.

[SamS_TTCPink]

What a gorgeous family!! 💜
We have no support either and our families suck big time too, are more a hindrance than a help and don't think we should have had any kids either, let alone six, but here we are trying again. 😉

I thought we would be done after DS6 but I just don't have that "were done" feeling. I so feel like after this baby, we will be done (although secretly hoping for twins again so we have even numbers &#128521.

Goodluck in whatever you decide to do and you do have all the support and understanding ever possible on this site. 😊👍