Same vent, different day!

[Boysway]

argh! Bloody family!

So we had Miss 9's birthday dinner last night. I bit the bullet and invited my DSD and Mum, Pop, Aunty, cousin and her daughter. As well as my Dad and DSM (who I usually call Mum, to save confusion I'll say DSM), brother (DSB), SIL, nephew and niece.

As terrible as this is, I try not to invite Mum and DSD + extras due to my mothers behaviour. She always hogs the attention of Miss 4 and barely speaks to my Dad and DSM. Last night was no different. She didn't even say a word to DSM. At least my Dad made an effort to say hello to Mum and had a brief chat to my Pop and Aunty. She also tries to outdo every one when it comes to presents

Anyway, back to my main vent. Mum has been saying for months (maybe even a year) how I would be crazy to have another baby. The other week when asking if she should get rid of old baby toys (from my kids) that I won't be having any more kids anyway!

So, last night I was talking to my SIL when suddenly she hands me my niece who she was bottle feeding (nephew is toilet training) to rush off and help my nephew. So, here I am holding and feeding my niece. Mum turns out says, don't you go getting clucky, you're not having any more babies. In the mean time, I have Dad down the other end of the table encouraging me to have another baby (I guess he heard what she was saying). Then, dh in my ear quite literally saying 'cluck, cluck'. Argh!!! I spoken to dh and decided it was best we give Mum warning ahead of time that sometime in the future we are going to have another bub. I wasn't going to before but, I feel it would be best. It will give her time to wrap her head around the idea and get her negativity out of the way. Now, to figure out what to do about our eldest (Miss 13) who is adamant she doesn't want anymore siblings She even said it again last night


Okay, vent over.

Thanks if you made it through. I just needed to get this out.

[SamS_TTCPink]

I know how you feel as all our families are against us having anymore, they didn't even want us to have one! I know it's going to be hell when/if we do get pregnant and the whole 9months (well from when we tell them) is going to be negative and nasty and I'm not looking forward to it at all. A few months ago when comments were being made at a family function, I said "we would actually love another child", although mum wasn't in the room, it was enough to start the horrific comments and disapproval. 😞

Our DS1 has been very clear about how he feels about it all too and says he will move out if we ever have another baby, but the others kids keep asking when can we have another one.

It's hard, and even harder to ignore them, but just keep on mind that it's your family and if it's what you want the rest can go jump! 💜

[Boysway]

Mumofsix It's hard isn't it. This is not how things should be. I can kind of understand the kids point of view. They may be worried about not having enough attention. I would rather let my eldest know in advance that she may have one more sibling but, I am afraid she may slip up and tell someone as she wouldn't have anyone to talk to about it. Other then me possibly telling Mum, we haven't told anyone else (other then some ladies from my online mothers group from 10 years ago) we haven't told family or friends.

This is something dh and I want. Whether it is Mum and DSD not wanting us to have anymore or Dad and DSM hanging out for us to have another it is our decision and not one we have made lightly. I will be telling Mum this. She needs to know I am the decision maker and that is that!

It just frustrates me, they should be happy for us Mumofsix. The decision of myself and my husband. The decision between yourself and your dh.

[SamS_TTCPink]

It sure does sux. I wish they'd just be accepting, even if they don't agree or love the idea. I'd would be nice to hear a congratulations just once, instead of the hurtful comments and negativity.

We've only told one person, a mum of a friend of DS1, as she swayed and got her daughter after three boys so wanted to find out what she did, and she also understands our desire. I know she'll be happy and wants to be the first person to know so that's nice, but I know everyone else (except everyone on here) will be horrible when they find out.

I'm also hoping we do get our daughter so it "ease the blow" a bit and I don't have as much hell to deal with. 😞

[Rosie85]

Ugh ladies I am so sorry your families even think it is their place to say anything. How rude! I would just tell them to shut it and mind their own business. Do they house, feed, bathe and care for the kids? No? Than they have no say! Tell them all to stop yapping and being so rude or they won't even get to see the new baby or any of the others either. I hope all of the naysayers stop being so negative for you boys and mum.

[blueeyedguys]

My mother keeps going on with stuff about nice it will be for me to be done with diapers. I think that's actually 1 of dh's reasons for agreeing to try again; it'll annoy my mother. lol. My sister got into the act when she was here recently, too. She's younger than me & has 2 boys, her youngest is a month younger than my eldest.

I actually asked all my kids if they were open to another sibling. The 3 old enough to understand were good with the idea, although ds1 was upset that he'd be 14 years older. I'd decided in advance that if they were really against it, I wouldn't do it, since that would be one more thing on my cons list.

[Hopingforaprincess]

I haven't told anyone we are trying for another one but my 8 year old overheard me say something and he said it in front of my brother but I just told my brother it wasn't true. I mainly don't want to hear peoples crap and I don't want to hear "your GOING to have another boy"

My older two boys are ok with having another sibling (my middle child wants a sister...said he's done with having brothers).

[jmomof3girls]

Luckily, both of my DH's family and my mom, brother, and friends are supportive. My dad thinks 3 girls are perfect. He wanted all granddaughters. He doesn't think I should have anymore. I do understand where he's coming from because he wants me to have a career. He knows how I thrive in a work environment and how quickly I move up in a company. But, I have no choices as far as childcare anyway so I just want to try now so that I can still be young enough to get back in the workforce when they start school. I do get a lot of people telling me that I will have another girl and that I'll never have a boy. I kinda bothers me because everyone who says that has mixed gender kids so they don't know how much us moms and dads long for a baby of a different gender.

[Boysway]

Thanks for all the replies and support ladies

I spoke to dh and got the okay (hesitant) from him to tell Mum and DSD. Just so they have a chance to get used to the idea of possibly having one more grandchild.

I spoke to them tonight. They weren't at all surprised. I told them we will try for one last baby sometime in the near future. They asked the usual questions, do you have the room, do you have the money etc. I am relieved they were accepting. I also asked them not to mention anything to anyone. Although, I have a suspicion she will tell my Aunty. I have to admit, I didn't tell her the Mirena had been taken out when she mentioned me needing to have the Mirena removed. It was removed back in January.

So, I feel relieved now that is over with.

[jmomof3girls]

Is this your first sway?