DH is saying no to another child

[Dana-Alicia]

Oh maidentomother, that is just heartbreaking to read... Big hugs to you.

And atomic, I'm just in awe. You are so freaking right!!! And those men go off, have more babies with another woman and the first wife is left with less kids than she wanted and it's so horribly unfair! Now of course most men don't do this, but honestly, most men work all day, come home, get their dinner, play with the kids a bit and then they are off to bed. After we've been slaving around after the kids 24/7! So... I already told my husband I want two more. I want two boys (check) and two girls and he will deal with it (she said bravely haha wish me luck) and I'm also going to get pregnant as soon as I'm ready. I'm not going to wait for him. As you can see Quinn, you're not alone. Of course we need to bring it in a way our men don't run out the door screaming. But he must really understand this is so much more important to you then it is to him. My DH keeps saying he is fine with two. I'm not, I hurt every day. He would not hurt every day if we had another one (or two). So he's gonna deal with it. This is affecting my life in so many ways and so does it his, as I'm unhappy because of it. A happy wife is a happy life.

[The Anchor]

I have a girlfriend with a PP and she wants one more (so do I! LOL). Her DH is dead set against it, but she has taken it upon herself to keep up the ruse that she's on BC, and she will LIE to him if she gets pg, and say that the pill must have failed. SERIOSLY, the lengths we will go to!

My DH would have 10 kids if I were up to it (it's MY old body that's failing). We never even talked about kids before we got married, I know you're supposed to...I think we just both assumed. I always chuckle a bit when I talk to ladies who have "The Discussion". I guess my DH is so laid back, I'd never really considered that he might want to limit the number of kids. Actually, I think that's why I married him!

[LilithWiser1979]

I convinced DH. He wanted to stop at 2, didn't care about gender. I wanted up to 4, but needed at least one of each. I thought (you know, because I can do MATH) that the natural compromise between 2 and 4 was 3, but over a year of couples' counseling proved that was not the case. I'm not going to lie, it was a hard year. I cried a lot, it took some serious concessions on my part, and he seriously guilt tripped me when I got pregnant for "forcing him to have more kids than he wanted."

In the end, I think it was worth it. I'm due with my daughter tomorrow (although, she's showing no signs of coming!) and DH seems to have warmed up to the idea of having a little girl.

Good luck with your decision!

[Dana-Alicia]

Lilith, how exciting!! Wishing you a lovely birthing experience, finally meeting your daughter!

The Anchor, women who have to lie about that must feel so desperate. I know a lot of people will judge her, but I understand... It's sad we have to go to extremes sometimes. And for what?

When I just found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was so worried about money, my studies, our tiny house, just everything. I was scared I couldn't do it. Then one day I was on the bus and a really old lady got on. As I looked at her, it hit me. When I'm old I'm going to look back at my life and think about the things that really matter. I will not be thinking of what grade I had for the exams, I will not think of all the money I made in my succesful career, I'm not going to think about living in a small house when I was younger. I'm going to look back and think: I did it. I made it work under difficult circumstances. Well... as you all can see in my signature it didn't work out that way. But I still want to look back at my life and think I've raised my beautiful kids. All of them. And if I can't pay for them to have the fanciest clothes, so be it. They don't need to go to college or have me paid for it. Both my husband and I went to university and we did not get any financial support from our own parents. It's been rough and we are in dept because of it, but we didn't die. I want to look back and know that I did everything possible to make my dreams come true. I am a good mother. Yes, I make mistakes and sometimes I want to take a break from all this insanity that comes with kids. But I am a good mother and I have plenty of room in my heart for more children. If my DH wasn't so dead against us having more, I would not even worry about ht. But now I'm forced to, because it would be my only chance. And that's sad. We should be a team on this and we're not. He is happy and I'm not. That is just unfair. I know there are more women who feel the same way. Don't give up hope girls, we have every right to be happy as well.

[True Blue]

Not to completely go off on a tangent here but honestly, this annoys the H--- out of me. Because we women have to have the child, do most of the care for the child, etc and also our fertility is on a timeline. Whereas men can and DO wake up one day out of the blue and leave their families to go off with some other woman and start a whole 'nother family (not saying any of our DH's would do this, but they COULD) even at 50-60 years of age. So I really really thing we women ought to be the ones in charge of having X number of children as long as it's relatively reasonable. This whole thing with husbands refusing to have kids, while we're left crying and begging and pleading while our biological clocks count down to zero especially when they AGREED to having a certain number earlier in the relationship like my husband did - I"m sorry but I think it totally sucks and is a totally bull--- thing for guys to do. (humbly putting soapbox away)

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