What I would do differently

[Myloves]

"but each time I let it go. I'm only human."

I couldn't agree more with this comment MrsIncredible. I felt the same way. I had GD with my first two, but I got over it and moved on (and it took me a while to stop dwelling even after I had DD1), because one day you just have to let it go.

[Mrs_Incredible]

I'm sat watching frozen with ds3&dd and to let it go is on right now maybe that's why i love that song. It took a fair bit of counselling over the years to stop obsessing (as much) and dealing with catastrophic thoughts, anxiety, constant worrying etc. I think becoming less martha played a part in getting my dd xx

[pink_bean]

I could not agree more with everything the other ladies have said! Most if not all of who are on here have experienced GD it well and truely sucks! After DS 2 I was determined to get pregnant straight to have my girl and make everything perfect ( take away all the GD I felt mainly when pregnant with DS2) thank god my DH put a stop to that as I was so focused on just having a girl I never would have coped had it been my third boy. We waited this time, there will be a five year gap between DS2 and DD1 and for me time healed I realised I wanted another baby regardless of gender. Thanks to this site and atomic I did get my dream gender I'm 38 weeks with DD. My DH did not know I was swaying he would have thought it was all hocus pocus so I kept it to myself. Good luck and I look forward to following your journey XX

Congrats to you! I dont think my DH would go along with swaying. Especially if it involves diet change or taking supplements. So, its nice to hear that you had success swaying on your own. I think my DH is scared we would have another boy and I would get GD again. So, thats one reason he wants to stop at 2.

[pink_bean]

I'm sat watching frozen with ds3&dd and to let it go is on right now maybe that's why i love that song. It took a fair bit of counselling over the years to stop obsessing (as much) and dealing with catastrophic thoughts, anxiety, constant worrying etc. I think becoming less martha played a part in getting my dd xx

When I first heard the term Martha on here, I thought it was referring to Martha Stewart! Haha I thought "yeah, i'm not very crafty." Lol but i am definitely obsessive and a worrier. Also, a perfectionist. I have gotten much better about the obsessing/worrying but having a hard time shaking the perfectionist part. I know I have to shake that off because it drives hubby crazy and I also dont want it to effect my kids. I had a hard upbringing though and I know thats where it stems from. I think counseling would help me as well.

[pink_bean]

"but each time I let it go. I'm only human."

I couldn't agree more with this comment MrsIncredible. I felt the same way. I had GD with my first two, but I got over it and moved on (and it took me a while to stop dwelling even after I had DD1), because one day you just have to let it go.

Definitely want to get to the point where I can let it go! Glad to hear there is hope. I think I am getting there but something triggers it and I'm back into it. But nowhere near how it was initially.

[trifecta]

When I first heard the term Martha on here, I thought it was referring to Martha Stewart! Haha I thought "yeah, i'm not very crafty." Lol but i am definitely obsessive and a worrier. Also, a perfectionist.

This made me laugh because I also think of Martha Stewart. It should give us hope, too, because Martha Stewart is totally a "Martha" and she has a daughter.

[pink_bean]

Well, husband has gone from no way to a big maybe on a third. He says if I want another baby it has to be because I want another child and not just a girl. He said if we decide to do it he WILL participate in a sway but he doesn't want me to get obsessed or excited about having a girl because we could have another boy.

This makes me happy because I feel like he is started to understand how I feel, but he is right. I can only do it if I'm okay with another boy. I now it's pushing it but I can not even think about another until my youngest is closer to 3-4 years old. Which puts me around 42 years old. I know it's harder to get pregnant at that age and I know all the risks. If it doesn't work out, I will let it go. It's just been so hard having two close together, my oldest was so jealous and the sleep and potty training regression have been a nightmare! I want my youngest potty trained and in preschool before we have another or no deal!
We did just have dinner with a couple that had a surprise baby at 46 (mom) and 50 (dad). But I can't go past 42 or 43. That's as old as I'll go and I only wanted 2 and two be done before 40. But that's when I assumed I'd have a girl, too.

[Keshet]

I was just on a hiking trip with my 3 boys and my newly showing belly when an older lady said to me: I used to come here all the time just like you. I had 3 boys and then I had another boy. And now they are all grown up and I now have 10 grandaughters." And with a big smile on her face she said: "it's wonderful!" It made me so happy to hear the longer term perspective.

[pink_bean]

That's awesome, Keshet. Congratulations on the new baby!

[atomic sagebrush]

This made me laugh because I also think of Martha Stewart. It should give us hope, too, because Martha Stewart is totally a "Martha" and she has a daughter.

But of course her daughter is older than a good deal of us and we have no idea what Martha was like when she conceived her!

I know a woman who was this laid-back VERY young girl who worked in a hair salon and married this super rich guy, got pg right away with a girl, and then after that went from Mary to Martha in about 3.5 months. A couple of more entertaining anecdotes were when she flew into a panic because her daughter slammed her finger in a door - not because she was hurt, but because it was her wedding ring finger and how could she ever get beautiful wedding photos taken with no fingernail (the child was 3 at the time) and she had a special drawer with new never been worn socks for her daughter so she could wear pristine white socks to go to the doctor's office. Needless to say she got a boy next.