If it fails, is the disappointment WORSE than gender disappointment?

[atomic sagebrush]

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...-anybody-know=

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm now leaning towards swaying again. I had planned on CR to cycle but did not realise you had to be 35 plus or have fertility issues. Now USA is our only option (DP will not consider the other places) and with the money it would take to save I would be waiting way way longer than I liked.

I am starting to wonder if I do have more chance of getting a daughter via swaying. I have never tried it and my life was one huge boy sway before without me realising it and now I am pretty neutral without consiously trying to change plus I now have a couple of natural things that would help sway pink for me. I see that the girl sway stats are getting better. Maybe even better in a year or so and I can get even better sway advise than what is available right now. Such a hard choice to make. If we had the money it would be HT. I feel mad at my parents like they took my potential daughter away from me because it is hugely their fault that we lost 100s of dollars in our business and now live month to month with hardly any extras. We could have afforded it alot easier otherwise. I wish I could stop being angry about that because it is not going to change now.

I think of myself as TTC number three as far as stats are concerned since with identical twins only one child was concieved who turning into two. I think the stats for famlies of three to have mixed genders was about 50% ? I really can not remember. Can't find the thread

You don't have to be over 35 or have fertility issues to cycle there.

[LW14]

Wish i'd read this before i went to LA in Feb...just had a BFN after transferring a healthy hatching XX - DH thought it was a cert we would get pregnant, i wasn't sure but hoped!! Now am not sure what to do - was a huge expense and effort to go out there (although my SIL lives there so we had a proper family holiday) - am thinking could do one more cycle with HRC but only if they can advise whether they can change anything to make it more likely to stick next time (assuming we get a healthy XX again)...there are so many hurdles to clear, i am so disappointed to fall at the final one. Or do i try somewhere closer to home like CZ with a lesser reputation but lower cost and less effort required needed to get hopefully that positive. Or do i just give up and try swaying...am struggling today with whether i am disappointed about the BFN for a girl or just the BFN in general...and how long do i leave it with trying naturally - i am 36 soon so fertility is declining, plus don't want a massive gap between my others...what to do!!!

[Remustroy]

Sorry for your bfn but don't give up hope average is 3 cycles what grade was your embie did Dr p give you a % lots of people on here will tell you that there fresh transfer didn't work and the fet did and lots of people add things to second goes to increase there chances I believe this is a game of numbers and luck I'm sure some others will be able to advise further have you any on ice to go back for x

[LW14]

I was with Dr Kolb - didn't get a percentage or the grade but he seemed positive about it. Wondering if FET has a better chance as gives you a chance to clear all hormones out. None on ice as only one healthy XX (had 10 eggs retrieved, only 6 fertilised but 5 made it to day 5)...so would be starting from scratch again.

[Aussie Girl]

I wish I also found this site before I flew to LA in March. We've just got home with our first unsuccessful attempt at GS. Nothing prepared me for the disappointment and hurt I'm currently nursing. [emoji17]

Apparently I didn't respond to the meds and had very poor pretesting or it could have simply been a bad month. Im 34 and had no issues falling pregnant previously. I have two boys! I'm just wondering if this has happened to anyone else, it's been very emotionally and financially draining to get the result we did.

I'm wondering if I'm a freak of nature (female version of Charlie sheen with a high resistance to drugs) or if this is common for other women seeking GS from Australia or worldwide?

Bit of a misconception that GS is guaranteed thing, the end result is, if you manage to defeat the other odds you need to, to get there. I can honestly say, knowing what I know now, and the odds involved and extra hidden costs and the gamble attached, I'm not sure I would have chosen this process for us.


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[nuthinbutpink]

I am very sorry this is not easy for some of you. I can relate very well as a poor responder with zero fertility issues previously. I was 34, very healthy, never had a miscarriage and pregnant first month with three previous kids. My pretesting was awful.

Dr Potter ordered my pretesting. I did not cycle with him but he was the one that have me the results and it started with "I'm sorry.".

My AFC was 7. My FSH was 10 and my AMH was .75.

I see many people on here with subpar pretesting and I wonder how upfront your doctors are being with you. Although it's true that even excellent pretesting cannot predict success but poor pretesting can tell you this won't be easy.

I'm not sure all of you have had poor pretesting but IF you fall into that category, here are some things to consider-

Is DHEA something to look into? Ask your doctor.

Am I being realistic with this and understand that with poor pretesting, multiple attempts may be necessary.

Am I being realistic with this and understand that I may be better off canceling my cycle of I do not respond well to stims initially and then try again with another protocol.

Am I treating this as a business transaction and watching what we spend on the trip or are we blowing money on "holiday" that may be needed for a second cycle?

IVF is a huge unknown for all of us. We need to keep in mind that there is nothing natural about it and our response has nothing to do with our natural fertility. A poor response to stims does not mean we are now infertile.

IVF is difficult for everyone. Beyond the physical response, it is emotionally exhausting.

Less than optimal pretesting means it will be difficult. There is no way around that no matter how "fertile" you may think you are or how young you are.

[LW14]

NBP - how would you categorise these pretesting levels? They were done in UK at last period before i went to LA and cycled

FSH – 9.0
Progesterone – 1.1
Beta oestrodiol - 106
AMH – 10.6

Are these good or bad? I was given no indication at the clinic. I did get a reasonable number of eggs (10) of which 6 fertilised and 5 went to day 5 for testing, 3 were normal but only 1 XX so I think i responded ok to the meds and the stim, it was the transfer that didn't take so wonder if my body was too hormonal esp as had my normal hormones too (some clinics down regulate natural hormones but don't think i had that)

[LW14]

Aussie girl - where did you cycle? I was in LA in March as well...might have seen you in the waiting room. I too am so disappointed - i was not prepared for how many hurdles there are to overcome and i kind of thought as i had conceived so easily with my two boys (pg first try with each) i would have an easy ride, especially as we transferred a good quality hatched embryo...obviously not I am not seriously questioning what to do next - my very supportive DH and parents have said i can go to the US for another cycle if i want, leave the boys at home, maybe do two short trips (one for ER and one for FET assuming we get a good quality girl) but it is still so much money and am wondering if i should just leave it to nature and spend the money on a fun family summer holiday instead!! Or go for a cheaper clinic in Europe...argh, i am so confused. So pleased to have found this forum where i can at least ask advice and be open

[nuthinbutpink]

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ht-f...mh-levels.html