this whole swaying thing...!

[nuthinbutpink]

Lindi, I just want to caution you against making assumptions about your fertility. 1. IVF for gender selection isn't the same as regular IVF. You lose half or nearly all of your embryos and most, if lucky, are only left with 1-2 at transfer time. Even the young guns(28-32). 2. Trying natural and falling pregnant easily really has no bearing on how your body might respond to meds or how ideal of a candidate you might be for IVF. I had 3 DD, all conceived first month trying, 34 years old and had a six month old when I did pretesting and it showed I had diminished ovarian reserve at 34- with a 6 month old!! I am very healthy, thin, an athlete.

My point is, we are ALL fertile. We all have kids. When you add GS to IVF, it changes everything and age is the number one predictor for success. You only increase your chance of twins if you choose to put back more than one embryo. One can split, but the odds are very low.

I just want you to be informed and if you haven't spent a lot of time on the HT board and followed some of the stories, I can see how it is easy to think that because you conceived a child easily once that HT would be a breeze. I wish it were that way. Bottom line is when you look at a clinic's stats, in your late 30's, your chances of IVF working are under 50%. The national average for 38-40 year olds for a live birth from IVF is 22.2%. That's without throwing a gender preference in the mix.

[lindi]

I'm glad it's working for everyone! I got pg very easily at 38+ also but unfortunately not everyone has been as lucky as us so I feel like I have to throw the "bio clock disclaimer" out there - forewarned is forearmed!!

no thanks! There are just so many variables in this whole thing...

[lindi]

Lindi, I just want to caution you against making assumptions about your fertility. 1. IVF for gender selection isn't the same as regular IVF. You lose half or nearly all of your embryos and most, if lucky, are only left with 1-2 at transfer time. Even the young guns(28-32). 2. Trying natural and falling pregnant easily really has no bearing on how your body might respond to meds or how ideal of a candidate you might be for IVF. I had 3 DD, all conceived first month trying, 34 years old and had a six month old when I did pretesting and it showed I had diminished ovarian reserve at 34- with a 6 month old!! I am very healthy, thin, an athlete.

My point is, we are ALL fertile. We all have kids. When you add GS to IVF, it changes everything and age is the number one predictor for success. You only increase your chance of twins if you choose to put back more than one embryo. One can split, but the odds are very low.

I just want you to be informed and if you haven't spent a lot of time on the HT board and followed some of the stories, I can see how it is easy to think that because you conceived a child easily once that HT would be a breeze. I wish it were that way. Bottom line is when you look at a clinic's stats, in your late 30's, your chances of IVF working are under 50%. The national average for 38-40 year olds for a live birth from IVF is 22.2%. That's without throwing a gender preference in the mix.

Thank you for this, NBP. I have been following some HT but not for very long. It seems like the odds of it working out aren't that great. I guess I am an optimist ( a bad thing for swaying pink actually!) but I can't imagine it not working out for me... I suppose everyone feels that way. And the reality is very different.
There is so much I am weighing in my mind. One is the chance that HT won't work.
I am in a tough position, since I have only march, april and may this year to ttc for timing when I can take off work for the baby. I work part time, but it involves traveling right now, and that also means HT would be really hard to make work. It would come down to luck if I could insure that I would be home on the right dates. And then it wouldn't be like- oh it didn't work this month, lets ttc naturally next month, because IF i was pregnant for any length of time wihtout it working, that would just take away an additional chance of ttc naturally. I only have 3 chances this year.
I'm not sure what the right thing is, and as I said the secrecy thing would really stress me out.
Right now I am swaying towards swaying because it seems simpler. Its just that really its not very simple at all. We can't control everything, can we.

[nuthinbutpink]

No, like she says in the movie Days of Thunder, "Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs."

He still got back in the racecar though and passed him on the outside.

[Viene]

No good advice for you, but you're not alone. I feel like that a lot. Heck, that's why I am not pregnant already. I had originally planned on starting to ttc back in July, but I chickened out.

[lindi]

No good advice for you, but you're not alone. I feel like that a lot. Heck, that's why I am not pregnant already. I had originally planned on starting to ttc back in July, but I chickened out.

Can I ask yourreasons for chickening out?

[Viene]

The fear of an opposite.

[lindi]

part of me thinks we have it better swaying for a girl- we are really lowering our fertility so much, and you can go pretty extreme when it gets to douching options- that *if* you get pg, the chances of the swaying working are better than for swaying for a boy if that makes sense. But I get it. If you have your heart set, this is tough stuff.

[atomic sagebrush]

part of me thinks we have it better swaying for a girl- we are really lowering our fertility so much, and you can go pretty extreme when it gets to douching options- that *if* you get pg, the chances of the swaying working are better than for swaying for a boy if that makes sense. But I get it. If you have your heart set, this is tough stuff.

I don't know. I think swaying for a girl is "harder" in that if you're really really fertile, your body is going to be doing everything in its power to counteract everything you do by swaying. But at the same time, I think swaying for a boy is "harder" because if you have a lot of girls already, you may have lower fertility/hostile CM because of your body itself and NOT because of outside influences.

But, the good news is, people who want more of the same gender (viene) are more likely to be successful at swaying than people with a lot of one gender who are trying for an opposite.

[lindi]

I don't know. I think swaying for a girl is "harder" in that if you're really really fertile, your body is going to be doing everything in its power to counteract everything you do by swaying. But at the same time, I think swaying for a boy is "harder" because if you have a lot of girls already, you may have lower fertility/hostile CM because of your body itself and NOT because of outside influences.

But, the good news is, people who want more of the same gender (viene) are more likely to be successful at swaying than people with a lot of one gender who are trying for an opposite.

Oh! Don't say that! I hear what your saying- I just mean that swaying for a boy increases fertility, increases the chance of getting pregnant at all? But Yes, everybody's body is "set" differently and that must be overcome so it's a challenge either way.