Due in Sept/Oct/Nov 2015

[Rosie85]

I wish dh would have let me do the blood tests. Since i am only 30 it wasnt covered and we couldn't afford it. I would have passed on the gender results still...i just wanted the peace of mind. My 13 week scan didnt work so i am sitting in a basket of nerves something is wrong with baby.

[EmileeJane]

When's your 20 wk scan Rosie? I am sure everything is fine lots of people don't get the 12 wk scans .

[Rosie85]

This next monday. Excited to see the baby!

[srg09cag11]

Vent alert -- feel free to skip --
I don't want to be self-centered, but I don't really know where else to post my feelings about my gender disappointment.

My husband just doesn't understand. He keeps blowing up with me because I'm not glowing happy about the pregnancy right now, but I'm really trying to get over my disappointment. I just keep feeling like it's a boy, and I'm living in denial; I've felt that way all along, but I know that it's just wishful thinking and stupid. I even tried to buy a baby outfit while I was out with my girls to prove to him that I'm okay, but I just got upset and left the store empty-handed. The husband says the he feels like he can't be happy because I'm not, and he thinks I want to get rid of the baby, which is obviously not true. I want to be happy and excited, but I'm just not there yet, and every time I try to force it, I cry or get angry. I have another ultrasound to check the heart in three weeks, and I know it will still be a girl, but I'm holding on to some ridiculous idea of a miracle change. Sigh.

Thanks... I just needed to say those words out loud to people who are less judgmental if completely unknown to me!

[Mrs_Incredible]

Gd is a horrible beast. Take your time, be kind to yourself, and let yourself grieve what your heart wanted so badly. Huge hugs xxx


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[EmileeJane]

Srg- I have been thinking of you and Bura a lot. I think all of your feelings are completely valid and will feel the exact same way if I hear 'boy' in June. I know I may be overreacting to the yet unknown, but, I have been feeling very distraught about having a 3rd boy. I know I'll love him but lately it's making me nervous that it just won't be worth the stress of 3 kids and a strapped bank account. Especially for the thought of NEVER having my daughter.
I am sorry your DH is being insensitive. There's no way he can fully understand . I mean I look at this journey we are all on its the full extent of control we have aside from IVF. Who goes to all these crazy extents to get their desired gender?! So when we've come this far and tried so hard and prayed or put our entire being into this just to have it go the opposite way, that sucks! I mean where do we go from here? Of course we share in the joy of our comrades victories but it doesn't take the sting of our loss away and can sometimes make it harder. I know I'll always wonder where I went wrong.
I don't mean to offend others but I don't believe in God so I certainly don't buy the, 'God gives you what you need' bit. It's harder for me to wrap my mind about why things worked out the way they did. I hope we ALL, (and think we as a community) have learned valuable life lessons. I hope we are better people for what we've been through and I hope we pass all that amazing knowledge onto our sweet children.
It will all take time but I think it's good you are dealing with the denial and anger and sadness now. Hopefully by the time your baby girl is here you feel nothing but love for her because you've mourned the loss of the son you had hoped for and have freed up that space in your heart just for her. It's okay to always keep a part of your son. Maybe later on you can think of something like a memorial for him. Like buying a special outfit for him and writing a letter (that you don't send) then maybe you could give the outfit to someone in need.
Sorry this goes on and on and hopefully it makes some sense. Huge hugs to you. You are on my mind♡♡♡♡

[Claire33]

Srg, you describe a bit of how it was for me during my 3rd pregnancy. It was hard, really, really hard. All I know that it does get better and that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. But I have to admit, what pulled me through most is that DH said yes to HT and a 4th child. Even though I never wanted to have more than 3 children. I dreaded the HT process and also knew that there is no guarantee of success anyway. So I knew that there was a possibility of never having my DG. It's was difficult. However, after a while you start getting used to your family as it is, not as you wished it were. Just give yourself time and be kind to yourself in the mean while.

[Burakoam]

SRG i had high hopes that the upside of me not hearing blue was surely going to be you hearing blue. I still cannot believe that there is so much pink in this one tiny club...but it makes me think that this club is in for a big pink boom and a majority if not all will be pink (which means yes all those who are waiting and would still like a pink bundle its very likely in my opinion)

That high boy/girl ratio does always balance out but doesnt mean its going to balance out here. The ladies due the following months after us could have a huge blue spike or (unknown to me as i didnt look much into the ladies due the few months before us) there could be a ton of blue in there that we are making up for. That sorta thing. Everyone stay positive that doesnt yet know and for those of us dealing with GD...we just gotta hang tight. Emilee you speak my mind for me when you mention not feeling that a strapped bank account is worth it for 3 kids if you didnt even get the gender you want...i feel that way too...but i know i love her so much already. I still feel like 'she' is a 'he'...it just seems so surreal. I banked too hard on that old heartbeat myth because it held true for my first two girls who were always 160+...this baby (now supposedly confirmed girl) sits in the 130's and low 140's always...I really did set out on this latest journey just wanting a healthy baby and so far i have at least that much. I still dream of my little boy. I think i will always dream of him to see his face. But i believe whole heartedly what someone else said concerning my baby that my little girl was just 'meant' to be here...and i cherish her even if i had a strong preference and desire for a son instead. I have faith anyone dealing with GD in this group will reach that same place...

[XXforhubby]

I'm hoping with my due date close you guys, 12/3, that we will hear pink for DH's sake!

Hugs Srg!


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[smarston3]

Srg-I can't give you any words of advise but know that I'm feeling the same way you are, you are not alone in your feelings. Currently, I'm 7w2d with baby #4. I'm having a "WTH were we thinking?!"Having four kids?!" Day. I'm worried that when I tell people,(only DH knows) they will look at us like we're crazy not to mention if it's DS4. I know the end goal is a precious, healthy baby that I will love. And I will! But, the stress of swaying, MS, financials, etc is too much for me today. Hugs to you! I wish we lived closed to support each other IRL.


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