How easily do you accept things as they are?

[trifecta]

Do you generally find you have a hard time accepting things as they are? I do and it's something I've noticed in my oldest son. He really got me thinking about it the other day because he damaged a favorite toy and continued to be upset about it hours later, even after I fixed it. (If you're wondering it was his little brother's digibird and he "fed" it a bead, which made it rattle. I turned it over and shook it until the bead fell out. Voila! The little robot bird is fine.) It's just one example but if he makes a mistake he sometimes has a very hard time letting it go.

It reminded me so much of myself. If I make a bad decision or even just have a pure accident or injury I berate myself about it for an unreasonable length of time. When I say "I can't believe I did that" I really mean it! There's a part of me that can't believe it. For me GD has the same feeling about it: I didn't get the family composition I thought I would get and on some level it's like my brain just can't accept it, even years later, and even though I have deeply bonded with my lovely and adored second son since birth.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[BrightSky]

Totally can relate to this. I'll mull over things and just won't let them go. GD is a strange thing. I always assumed before I had kids that at the end of the day u really wouldn't care and be happy with whatever plan was out there for u. In my head I just assumed I would have a girl first though (I have no idea why!) when I had my little boy I was overwhelmed by the love I felt, but part of me struggled to accept that it wasn't the girl I had pictured. Sometimes I think that if I didn't think about things so much (?!) I would be much happier and enjoy life more instead of this niggling guilt I have over these feelings. Does that make sense??

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes me too and have been known to mull over things and feel very strong embarrassment over things that happened back when I was a child. I'm 45 years old!!!!

[True Blue]

I totally relate!! Another here who still beats themselves up for things that happened YEARS ago.
I over think, over analyze and when something small goes wrong Im left with horrible feelings of dread for a long time.
I hate this part of myself.

[atomic sagebrush]

I suspect it's not a boy mom or girl mom thing - but a female thing!

[True Blue]

I have always felt it stemmed from childhood for me. I was first born and my Moms left hand woman - I got a LOT of responsibility, and at times blame, so I think I took on that personality and carried it with me to adulthood.

[Dreamofpink]

Absolutely! 8 years after the birth of ds1 & I still struggle with the idea of being a 'boy mum'. Perhaps it's because I don't feel done yet & I still have hope, but I just can't believe that that's me - a mum of three boys.

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[XXforhubby]

Absolutely! 8 years after the birth of ds1 & I still struggle with the idea of being a 'boy mum'. Perhaps it's because I don't feel done yet & I still have hope, but I just can't believe that that's me - a mum of three boys.

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This is something I've always wanted and am glad to have- being an all boy mom! The funny thing for me is even though I have feared having a girl, I always thought I would have a mixed gendered family. I wouldn't change a thing, but am a little...can't find the right word here....surprised we don't have at least one girl. While I can't imagine having four kids, especially since they would have to be 18 months apart (yikes [emoji16]!!), a part of me feels like we should try. I think this desire is driven by me feeling like I've let my DH down by not giving him his longed for DD. I do love being pregnant and having children. I just don't know if having another child when one is still so little the best for our family, since the gender isn't guaranteed without going HT.

I too have trouble of letting things go, even when they are clearly out of my control- like this.


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[maidentomother]

Me too. I have always been an over-thinker and control freak. I'm always thinking of the past or future, I can't seem to live in the present.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have always felt it stemmed from childhood for me. I was first born and my Moms left hand woman - I got a LOT of responsibility, and at times blame, so I think I took on that personality and carried it with me to adulthood.

me too. Absolutely.

My parents were also very wrapped up in their own lives when they had me and not what I would call nurturing so I was left on my own to figure out how to get along in the world. So I would do things incorrectly because I had no help/knowledge, and then be blamed for them constantly because neither of them wanted to take any blame for it (and really, who loves taking blame for things LOL) - it leaves its mark.