Moms of 4 of a kind - how bad was GD with #4?

[True Blue]

What's mind boggling to me is that I'm going into my sway with a level of confidence & a lot of hope, a small part of me feels like this time it's going to work. I can almost imagine my baby boy and it's really a dream come true. Yet . . I'm working hard on planning for a girl. In some ways she seems more important - like she needs to have the perfect name & the girliest clothes etc a celebration of its a girl!!!
With my dream baby boy the pressure is off, I feel I can relax
I discussed with my Mom recently and I wondered do I feel the need to over compensate to the world for my baby girl, YK, to prepare for the battle of disappointment from OTHERS. I don't feel the disappointment comes from me.
I can happily picture another DD with only a little sadness that I didn't get the boy but not sadness that I got another girl.
I'm not making sense see mind boggling. Such a confusing mixture of emotions.

I think we need to go in not just prepared but at peace with and accepting of a little opposite

[XXforhubby]

What's mind boggling to me is that I'm going into my sway with a level of confidence & a lot of hope, a small part of me feels like this time it's going to work. I can almost imagine my baby boy and it's really a dream come true. Yet . . I'm working hard on planning for a girl. In some ways she seems more important - like she needs to have the perfect name & the girliest clothes etc a celebration of its a girl!!!
With my dream baby boy the pressure is off, I feel I can relax
I discussed with my Mom recently and I wondered do I feel the need to over compensate to the world for my baby girl, YK, to prepare for the battle of disappointment from OTHERS. I don't feel the disappointment comes from me.
I can happily picture another DD with only a little sadness that I didn't get the boy but not sadness that I got another girl.
I'm not making sense see mind boggling. Such a confusing mixture of emotions.

I think we need to go in not just prepared but at peace with and accepting of a little opposite

Well said! My DH asked me last night if I was just a little disappointed we didn't hear girl. I told him a small part of me was a little disappointed, but I'm super excited about another snugly baby boy! My excitement for him overshadows any disappointment I may have. I feel my disappointment stems from feeling like I failed my DH. He said that my excitement and happiness helps him tremendously. He said his GD would be very hard if I was sad.

I think that it's easier to handle hearing the opposite of what we tried/hoped for, when other people express support and happiness of the gender announcement. I'm thankful everyone IRL is expressing happiness and excitement on our DS3. Although I know I would have had strong GD if this baby would have been a girl. On one hand I would have been happy and relieved my sway worked for DH, but I would have been sad about not having another boy. This past weekend I was packing up baby boy clothes in DS2's closet and drawers to make room for clothes that fit him, and I started to cry. I was sad that I may not have another sweet little boy to dress in the sharpest clothes. That said a lot to me. I'm thankful I can have another sharp dressed little man [emoji170]!


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[LacePrincess]

Trueblue, ITA!! Very well put!

For us it helps that we haven't had a baby in the house in a very very long time......so I miss all of it, not just the 'not having a girl' part..... I can't wait to nurse again, plus we got rid of all of our baby stuff awhile ago so no matter which gender when we get preggo again we will have the fun of buying ALL NEW STUFF!!

That's the best part, LOL. Plus I'm determined to buy all the cutest things EVAH no matter which gender.

[applesoup]

DS4 was much harder than DS3. Which is weird, because I had DD in between! Looking back, I think I convinced myself that we'd finally crossed out of our boy trend, that my swaying actually caused us to have a girl, and #5 was my last real shot at any balance. It also aligned with some really rude and mean responses from family about just being pregnant, and an unfortunate situation happening at the same time with my SIL.

I find out Monday...know I'm hoping for a girl way more than I should be, but yet hearing boy I will probably just think, "of course! What else would
It be?"

[Boom]

It was harder with DS4 but the worst part was before I even found out the gender as I was living in fear of GD. As it turned out after a few days I was able to be positive about another boy. It helped that DH had already agreed to HT though for number 5

[atomic sagebrush]

DS4 was much harder than DS3. Which is weird, because I had DD in between! Looking back, I think I convinced myself that we'd finally crossed out of our boy trend, that my swaying actually caused us to have a girl, and #5 was my last real shot at any balance. It also aligned with some really rude and mean responses from family about just being pregnant, and an unfortunate situation happening at the same time with my SIL.

I find out Monday...know I'm hoping for a girl way more than I should be, but yet hearing boy I will probably just think, "of course! What else would
It be?"

I think that for some people trying to get a sister for a daughter makes for a very severe GD because you aren't just doing it for you.

That having been said, there is something quite cool about being the only girl in a bunch of boys so no matter what, your family is super cool and unique as they all are!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

Well said! My DH asked me last night if I was just a little disappointed we didn't hear girl. I told him a small part of me was a little disappointed, but I'm super excited about another snugly baby boy! My excitement for him overshadows any disappointment I may have. I feel my disappointment stems from feeling like I failed my DH. He said that my excitement and happiness helps him tremendously. He said his GD would be very hard if I was sad.

I think that it's easier to handle hearing the opposite of what we tried/hoped for, when other people express support and happiness of the gender announcement. I'm thankful everyone IRL is expressing happiness and excitement on our DS3. Although I know I would have had strong GD if this baby would have been a girl. On one hand I would have been happy and relieved my sway worked for DH, but I would have been sad about not having another boy. This past weekend I was packing up baby boy clothes in DS2's closet and drawers to make room for clothes that fit him, and I started to cry. I was sad that I may not have another sweet little boy to dress in the sharpest clothes. That said a lot to me. I'm thankful I can have another sharp dressed little man [emoji170]!


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This! Exactly! I just had DD3 after team green. DH is disappointed slightly, but only because he is trying to envision never raising a son, not that he has a third daughter. I am more suited towards girls, but I wanted him to have that experience. I don't think I feel GD, but just wondering where the feeling of 'I am done" and move on begins.

[iluvmy4sons]

My 4th son was the hardest for me he was supposed to be my last child.


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[netti02]

I think GD is alot more common of mothers with boys than girls. I don't think i would feel as empty so to speak if i had all girls. Part of me wants to try for the 5th and a part of me doesn't. Im just not sure about this swaying part im all over the place.


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[XXforhubby]

I think GD is alot more common of mothers with boys than girls. I don't think i would feel as empty so to speak if i had all girls. Part of me wants to try for the 5th and a part of me doesn't. Im just not sure about this swaying part im all over the place.


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I'm not so sure about this. I think us boy moms are more vocal about our feelings and feel like this is something that we should take control over. Whereas girl moms may feel just as much GD not getting their DS but either excepted things as they are or they are not as vocal about their GD.

My grandma has three daughters and always wanted a DS. She just sort of excepted that just wasn't meant to be for her. Ironically, out of 13 great grandchildren, only 4 are girls and nine are boys!!! Luckily for her she is young (she is a spritely 73) and enjoys rough housing with them [emoji4]!

My other grandma has three sons and STILL dwells on her miscarriage before my Uncle Randy. Even though it was in 1959, she believes it was a girl. She feels that if she wasn't working in a hot factory, she would have had her DD. Silly because she managed to have three healthy boys in the same working conditions. She openly expresses her GD and actually gave me condolences on a third boy! She can't accept that someone would actually desire to have all boys, like me. She dismisses what I say because she thinks every woman wants a girl [emoji53].


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