What are the symptoms of pre natal depression?

[happy1981]

Thank you so much for your responses! It makes me feel so much more normal! I'm already in contact with a therapist for other reasons and I will book some more appointments with her regarding this. It's just so hard to know what is normal pregnancy thoughts and what is not.
I know it's normal to not feel love or attached to the baby at first but what worries me is that most of the time I feel like I don't even want the baby, like if I miscarried I wouldn't even be sad about it, just relieved. I don't ever hear any other expectant mothers having thoughts like that.

[Dana-Alicia]

Thank you so much for your responses! It makes me feel so much more normal! I'm already in contact with a therapist for other reasons and I will book some more appointments with her regarding this. It's just so hard to know what is normal pregnancy thoughts and what is not.
I know it's normal to not feel love or attached to the baby at first but what worries me is that most of the time I feel like I don't even want the baby, like if I miscarried I wouldn't even be sad about it, just relieved. I don't ever hear any other expectant mothers having thoughts like that.

You're not the only one with those thoughts, trust me. Let go of those feelings of guilt. You can not help how you feel right now. Pregnancies suck, seriously I hate being pregnant with a passion. Everything aches, I puke constantly, I get horrible SPD and for what?? You only know and understand that once you have the baby. It will be alright, just open up to someone you trust and talk, talk, talk. Antidepressants can sometimes really help, even during pregnancy. I was so depressed I was at a point I didn't know a way out, except jumping off the roof. And I have two kids! Since I got help and the right meds, I can not imagine ever having those feelings again. I understand the woman I was, I can still feel the despair, anger and bitterness. And I understand her, love her and do not judge her anymore. I am kinder to myself now and it has worked wonders. I love what Pink sings in 'Perfect'. "Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead".

[atomic sagebrush]

That is how I felt most of my pregnancy with DS 3. :/ But the fact is that even when we have those feelings if something were to happen our feelings would change in an instant (and I know this becuase I do know many women who have felt the same and did lose their baby later in pg and were very upset.)

[Dana-Alicia]

That is how I felt most of my pregnancy with DS 3. :/ But the fact is that even when we have those feelings if something were to happen our feelings would change in an instant (and I know this becuase I do know many women who have felt the same and did lose their baby later in pg and were very upset.)

Yup. It's because of the abstract idea I guess. We don't really know what we have once it's gone. I got pregnant by accident with DD and at first I was considering an abortion. But then came around and was happy. When she passed away, for a long time I blamed myself because I had thought of an abortion. I felt I was being punished. And it just doesn't work that way. We are not being punished, I don't believe that's how the universe works. And we are all trying to cope as best as we can. We don't need to add on to that hurt by constantly feeling guilty. We deserve better from ourselves.

[Bobster]

I have also had some feelings of not wanting this pregnancy and I feel guilty for it. I think the nausea and feeling so tired all the time don't help. I can relate to this and I think it's really brave of you to share these thoughts for others who feel similar. I think your experiences of ds1 are bound to make you feel anxious about having another baby but they do say you often have a very different experience with other babies. I'm also having my second and the thought of sleepless nights and colick also panic me but hopefully we will be more prepared for it this time as we are going into it with realistic expectations but the anxieties of how to keep this little newborn safe and alive will be less severe as we've done it before

[happy1981]

Hi all! I just wanted to update you on my situation now. DS 2 is 4 months now and I love him to bits! Just as much as DS 1, some days I even feel like I love him more! I never thought that would be possible. The first 2 months were tough as he turned out to be a colicky baby as well, all though not as bad as DS 1. But it never affected my feelings for him. My maternal instinct is so strong I have no idea where it comes from haha! I am still dreaming about having a girl as well but I'm not sure we could handle three kids, two is really hard work!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for this lovely update. My second son is the light of my universe. Wishing you the very best of luck.

[Atsaukina1]

Glad you're feeling better and loving your lil boy. Babes are a lot of work, glad his collic has gone away.