jealousy

[atomic sagebrush]

It's hard though, because people do genuinely enjoy their children and want to post pics of them and talk about them. And they have a right to do that. While sometimes people do say awful things we have to be able to take a step back and look at what others are doing and saying as not always necessarily insensitive but just borne out of their happiness, which they're totally entitled to and acknowledge to some extent it is really our own problem and not necessarily a lack of sensitivity on the part of others. THere is always someone else out there looking at us and wishing that they had what we do and I know I don't always go thru life thinking about the effect I have on someone else when I take joy in my blessings, if that makes sense.

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

I know - that's so true. Taking a step back is a good thing to do, as soon as your able. I think it sometimes feels like the process of mourning/grieving. When my father in law passed away it was hard to not think of anything else, and when people mentioned their dads or they were doing this or that for Father's Day, it's hard to not feel that pang of hurt... And no one is doing that to spite us or make us feel bad, they're just happy! And eventually we can be happy for them too.


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[tandjmom]

yes this is all very true.. i am not super upset about when people talk about their daughters or post pics of their children. this i get 100 percent. it is more when i tell people i have 3 boys(really 4 including my step son) the reaction has ALWAYS been negative. i don't think one person has ever said wow your so lucky, or wow what a blessing, or how much fun is that?.. it is always, oh god that must be hard, or how do you do it??, or that is crazy i would not be able to handle it, or you must realllly want a girl (DUH!).. it hurts my feelings, and i feel like i am always defending how beautiful and sweet and fun and wild my boys are. i guess this happens with either gender (when its a lot of the same gender) anyways at the end of the day i think its pretty badass to be a momma to all boys! god gives this job to the mamma's that CAN handle it .. and it sure is a blessing and an important role to raise loving kind boys , because god knows we sure need more of them!. sorry for the rant again, and with all of this being said i am still praying every moment of every day that the little girl i long for will be with me soon.

[XXforhubby]

The other day I was at the park with DS2 and there were three moms there that had girls. They were making over my DS2- he is super sweet with kids that are younger than him [emoji4]. Anyway, they all asked me separately what we are having next. I told them we were having our third boy, and we are super excited (to avoid the negative comments that I'm used to). Well they all shared that they had 2-3 girls and longed desperately for a boy themselves. Two of the three had various conditions after their last child that resulted in them having to have hysterectomies. The other woman said her husband went and got a vasectomy while she was pregnant and will not be having anymore children.

For the first time, the shoe was on the other foot! While I've always wanted boys myself and feel super lucky to be having our third, it broke my heart to hear their stories and how much they still long for their little boy!

By the way, they all led a CLASSIC girl mom lifestyle that is EXACTLY what is recommended on this site! I didn't ask them, they just mentioned it to me. I wondered if they knew about swaying or had tried, but I didn't ask or mention it.

FX and GL to everyone that will be swaying again in the near future! I'll be joining some of you soon too, for my DH!!


DS1[emoji125]🏼, DS2[emoji577], DS3[emoji170][emoji577][emoji843][emoji602][emoji170] Jan. '16 I'll sway for a DD[emoji166][emoji171][emoji166] for my DH!!

[meoab]

Well, let me tell you this, I am jealous of the fact that you are having boys! I am such a boy fan, always been and I have been through weeks of disappointment when I heard I am expecting a baby girl. At the moment, those feelings are reduced and I am much more relaxed (the fact that I have found this forum and feel like my next might be a boy, atleast 80 percent lol).
I couldn't share these thoughts with many people. Tried and failed to explain them very well..only my husband understand and it's good we have each other on this web .

[meoab]

Well, let me tell you this, I am jealous of the fact that you are having boys! I am such a boy fan, always been and I have been through weeks of disappointment when I heard I am expecting a baby girl. At the moment, those feelings are reduced and I am much more relaxed (the fact that I have found this forum and feel like my next might be a boy, atleast 80 percent lol).
I couldn't share these thoughts with many people. Tried and failed to explain them very well..only my husband understand and it's good we have each other on this web .

[atomic sagebrush]

not everyone knows this but I had really strong gender preference for a son with my first. I had had some negative experiences with fellow women during my school days, and got along super well with guys (so not any cultural preference, just a personal one) I was just lucky enough to get him. I was greedy and wanted a girl too, but I suspect that I would have had even worse GD for a boy than I did for a girl, if I had had only girls.

[tandjmom]

Well, let me tell you this, I am jealous of the fact that you are having boys! I am such a boy fan, always been and I have been through weeks of disappointment when I heard I am expecting a baby girl. At the moment, those feelings are reduced and I am much more relaxed (the fact that I have found this forum and feel like my next might be a boy, atleast 80 percent lol).
I couldn't share these thoughts with many people. Tried and failed to explain them very well..only my husband understand and it's good we have each other on this web .

i guess the grass is always greener... sorry about your disappointment. i hope you will have your boy someday. and yes this forum has saved me, at times when i really didn't know who to vent to. good luck to you!

[adnilleinad]

It's also the expectation you put into your children isn't it? In gender. I went to a play date with my sons preschool. Everyone was there. One mom of 2 girls got a bunch of flowers/herbs fro, her daughter. She handed out a few to us, and to me saying"I bet you don't get flowers, as you have only boys, so here is one for you". That made me sad and upset. So I answered truthfully "actually the opposite, my son brings me a flower everyday during the summer".

[atomic sagebrush]

???? what the actual eff. My sons all four of them have brought me about a jillion flowers over the course of their days. Even my adult sons are always doing little things like that. Grrr.