DTD...Fr or abstain question help please

[247mommy]

I'm new here! I have been on IG for a few months. I have found a lot of information on this site helpful. I'm really conflicted on what is best for DTD. Can someone guide me to do FR or abstain....not sure what would be best for us. I will give a little back story as to why I'm conflicted. I'm 37 and DH is 35. We have 3 boys 14, 11, and 6. In 2004, a month before we conceived our middle son, DH found out he had testicular cancer and had one removed at the age of 23. His doctor said he needed chemo and that may make him unable to have kids in the future. His DR. advised us to freeze his sperm just in case. We had the clinic test his sperm to see if it was ok. The nurse joked that even with only one testicle his numbers on all tests were so good he could look at me and I would get pregnant. We decided to try to get pregnant before his chemo started. We DTD everyday for at least a week and got pregnant that month. Fast forward to 5 years past his chemo and we wanted to have another baby. Not knowing if we could get pregnant we tried anyway. We DTD everyday at least a week and I got pregnant with our 3rd son in 2 months. So it seems he still has super sperm and FR still gave us boys. Or maybe that wasn't FR enough. Now it has been 6 years since our last son was born and I wonder if FR will get us yet another boy. I had read on this site that abstain isn't good for men over 35. He turned 35 5 months ago so I'm not sure if he would be ok. Also I'm pretty sure we DTD through OV with all three so I feel like a cutoff might be better but again I just don't know. Please help me figure out what would be our best plan. Both our hearts pray for a little girl to complete our family. Thanks

[squigglepink]

Hi 247

You have come to the rite place! Everyone on here is extremely helpful and whilst i wont advise you i just wanted to say hi! My hubby and i are 38 and therefore will not do abstain but are more than likely going to try fr for our first attempt and will drop it if we dont get a BPF in a couple cycles! i will say that this is the explanation i have for FR - FR is 7-10 days of husband release NOT INSIDE before having one unprotected attempt. It is NOT DTD every other day, it's not 3 attempts around O, it is not hubby skipping a day every couple of days, it's not anything other than having 7-10 days of release before 1 unprotected attempt. As for cutoff, there is an essay on here called "The trouble with timing". I came to this site with a Shettles mind using the cut off theory for girls, however my mind has been changed. Hope this helps a little!

[maidentomother]

Diet and exercise are what sway the most so focus on those. As for BD, I'd have DH do FR on his own and no matter stick with one attempt at positive OPK! Your diet, lifestyle, and other biological factors, are the primary reasons for your boys, though frequent unprotected BD may have contributed. But DH releasing daily on his own and having only one attempt is VERY different (instead of all his sperm building up inside you, he'll be getting rid of most of his sperm OUTside of you). One attempt has gotten great results when combined with/diet exercise. I'm not a fan of abstain as I don't think it sways much and it can inhibit conception. Better to keep sperm fresh and hopefully lower count a bit with FR.

[247mommy]

Hi Squigglepink
Thanks for your information. I did read about how often to do the FR somewhere. Just still worried it's not enough. I came here with a Shettles mind also and now I don't know what to think. I'm hoping some with girls will chime in and say what they did.
Thank you

[247mommy]

Hi maidentomother
Thanks for the information. One attempt is what I am sure about...it is at the positive OPK that scares me. It makes since though about the sperm builing up inside. I never thought about it that way. I have been doing the IG diet but think I may switch to LE. I'm so confused about the supplements now too because I'm taking the ones that IG says to take but on here I have read I should be taking totally different ones. As far as workouts go I used to do cardio everyday but only about 20-30 min a day. Haven't done anything for a few months though. How important is it to do the cardio?

[atomic sagebrush]

Your husband should do NEITHER. Just have him release every 2-4 days and then keep the one attempt.

One attempt is what is swaying pink for us. It's way, way more effective than FR is and so by DTD several times you may have inadvertently swayed blue.

Timing doesn't sway. Frequency isn't earning its keep. Having only one attempt in the fertile window has been EXTREMELY effective for us and thus I would recommend focusing on that.

HI and welcome BTW

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Squigglepink
Thanks for your information. I did read about how often to do the FR somewhere. Just still worried it's not enough. I came here with a Shettles mind also and now I don't know what to think. I'm hoping some with girls will chime in and say what they did.
Thank you

I got 3 of my 4 boys with cutoffs and my girl very late at night only a few hours before O days.

Please read the scientific case against timing here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...le-timing.html

Even Tamara agrees that Shettles was wrong. I don't know why they continue to promote Shettles on IG.

[atomic sagebrush]

Give me a recap of what you're taking and I'll help you by explaining why we recommend or don't and then ou can make up your mind.

Cardio has been among our best tactics all along, very effective, very consistent.

[247mommy]

Hi atomic
Thanks for your reply. I do plan on only one attempt but how do we try to lower his sperm count? Everything I read about swaying says DTD every 2-4 days for boys but for girls it says daily protected or abstain until your attempt. I don't feel confident in our attempt if we don't do something to lower sperm count for him and lower testosterone for both of us. After reading one of your posts I may fit the trait of possibly having higher testosterone so I should lower that somehow if I do. Is there a supplement and/or drink to help lower testosterone for both of us? Is there a supplement and/or drink to help lower sperm count?
In reply to your other question about supplements I am taking:
Calcium citrate (af-o)
Magnesium (af-o)
Folic Acid (everyday)
Cranberry(af-o)
Husband also takes all the above but no folic acid. No breakfast for me and eat 2 times starting at noon. I have been eating rice, pasta, no sodium bread, strawberries, cucumbers, eggs (switched to egg whites after reading that was better), cheese or cream cheese sometimes. Drinking water and great value sugar free drink mix with aspartame. I don't like to drink milk so I haven't been drinking the 3 glasses a day suggested by IG. I thought I was ready for our attempt in about 12-14 days but now after reading things on this site I feel like my plan isn't as good as I thought. I'm in tears now so confused this is my last pregnancy my body can handle and I feel like crap. I need to do everything I can to feel I did all I can do. I don't want to diet anymore.
All the above supplements and diet mostly came from IG suggests but this site I see most using asprin, fiber, zyrtec or Sudafed. I don't know why these are suggested. Diet seems similar but you can have more options with LE and the drinks on here I see diet coke or coke zero, coffee, peppermint tea. What is the peppermint tea supposed to do? I read something about it but I can't find it now? As far as cardio goes how long do we need to do it? If it were zumba 45-60 min or more intense like t-25 or insanity maybe 25-30 min would that be ok? Sorry I'm all over the place but that is exactly how I feel now....all over the place, sad, and confused.

[atomic sagebrush]

Your husband already HAS lowered sperm count because of his testicular cancer.

Can you please bump the rest of this post as it's late for me now and just doing easy q's.