Confused about whether to do FR or Abstain for girl sway!!?!

[Lissastick]

My husband is 35, and I read here that abstaining is not recommended for men over 35.

But...my husband is as healthy as a horse. Never had alcohol in his life. Never smokes (he's allergic to smoke). Exercises every day. He's FIT. He looks and acts like a 20 something. We already have one boy. We conceived him with the sperm meets egg plan. That seemed like a lot of sex to me! Haha. Will the frequent release method work against us and sway boy? It's like he has super sperm! Haha! It also only took us two cycles for my son.

And how many attempts do we try with either way?
I am mostly pure vegetarian, but I do eat full fat cheese and ice cream a few days a week. I also skip breakfast, but, I did with my son too - BUT, I eat tons of eggs and a very well balanced/high nutrient diet to keep myself healthy as a vegetarian. Which all sways blue...
I am also about 15 pounds overweight.

Ugh. I just don't know what is the best way to go about the next cycle???

[Lissastick]

Help?

[Georgia_Peach]

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[Georgia_Peach]

We have two boys and just had a girl last year. FR worked for us for her and when we attempt again for another girl I will be doing that again. 😊

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[Lissastick]

How did you do FR? I mean, how many attempts?

[Georgia_Peach]

I got him to do the work himself if you catch my drift. 😉
But I've read that abstaining is good too. Tough call for sure!


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[Erin514]

You definitely want only a single attempt. Have sex once at pos OPK. Anything else you do should be non-pregnancy-causing.

I think having that one attempt is more important than FR or abstaining, but you can choose whichever technique is going to cause fewer objections from DH. Both will reduce sperm count, which is your goal. Abstaining will slightly increase the risk of birth defects, which is why it's not recommended for men over 35.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry it takes me a bit of time to reply.

It has nothing to do with his health. It is the number of times his cells have divided since he was born - age alone. Tiny errors creep in over time and they accrue. Sperm are copies of copies of copies and the older a guy gets, the higher % of his swimmers will be bad.

That having been said, 35 is the cutoff I use because that is the age when it's proven statistically that the risks of genetic abnormalities are starting to rise. It's not a magic light switch, there is NO difference really between 34 + 355 days, and 35, it's only over the course of time that more and more abnormal sperm form (even in younger men it happens just over the course of a lifetime). So it is really at your discretion if you want to try abstain instead if you're ok with the risks.

Neither abstain nor frequent release have really been ubereffective. I do think they sway or I wouldn't recommend them, but neither are home runs for us. Doing SMEP DOES sway blue because you're having lots of SEX, not lots of releases. The sperm was able to live inside of you and in that case it is just adding more and more sperm. It's a very different scenario to FR where hubby is releasing and all that gets dumped, and you guys only have one unprotected attempt.

Whatever you decide, stick with one attempt!

[atomic sagebrush]

How did you do FR? I mean, how many attempts?

7-10 releases (one daily) either on his own or with you, with a condom, before ONE unprotected attempt in your fertile window.

[Lissastick]

And does this lower my chances of actually getting pregnant? I mean, I'm not a spring chicken. I feel like the only reason I got pregnant with my son was because there were so many sperms up there! Haha!
And would trying to sway with frequency even matter because I am overweight slightly and I eat a LOT? Which will sway boy, right?

Thank you for the frequency answers, though!