beautiful essay about mothering an adult son

[atomic sagebrush]

It's so sad but so lovely. It's nice to read something that celebrates the mother son relationship without making it weird or needy. A Journey Through Motherhood With My Son

[Sweetplum]

This is so beautiful and true. Thank you for sharing.

[Faithinpink]

So very true.. Had tears in my eyes reading it

[The Anchor]

I cried! It's not true...right???

[atomic sagebrush]

I cried! It's not true...right???

Yes, I think that's true for all kids of any gender though - the little ones do go away, but are wrapped up in these bigger people who no longer need us the way they did before.

And don't we really want it that way at the end of it all? I would not want my adult son to need me the way my little ones do - that would be weird and wrong. I just thought that essay captured the bittersweetness of it all - it hurts when it happens, but you wouldn't want it to be any different.

[jsophia922]

Oh my goodness, all the feels. Ds loves to dance, and the other day I scooped him up in my arms and danced with him around the living room. When we were finished, I looked at dh and made a comment about how one day I'd be doing that at his wedding. Then it hit me: one day I won't be the woman he loves and needs most in the world. And my heart broke and I just started crying. I know I can't keep him little, but we have such a deep connection right now and it is heart breaking to know that one day the feelings he has for me won't compare with the ones I have for him.

...this also reminds me to be a little more understanding with my mil when she scoops our son up (she only has boys and our boy looks just like my husband, her oldest). I've got to keep it in mind that this is her reality right now and she probably really craves those cuddles too in a different way than I do.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. This just hit me hard. Thank you so much for sharing!

[atomic sagebrush]

Consider this though, we may be in a different place then too. I am often surprised by older women who are just out and about and not sitting around mourning for their kids and stuff - my mom, for example, loves having the grandkids visit and all the rest but likes doing other things too - reading, watching movies, going out to lunch with her friends, and so on. My MIL is more of a homebody but I feel like she gets overwhelmed by having the kids around too long and enjoys her space and gardening and movies and stuff like that. My stepmother has no bio grandkids and probably never will, and she seems ok with that - she and my dad do a lot of traveling and recreational activities, she's involved with charities and book clubs and stuff. My point is that right here and now we are "all in" as moms but in the future I suspect we are going to rediscover the things that we enjoy doing and be somewhat happy to have more time for ourselves and our own fulfillment. Our kids are not the only ones who change!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

I will say that remembering that your sons (or daughters I assume LOL) are grown up is one of the hardest things to do!! I still try to boss my adult sons too much sometimes and it is REALLY hard to let go of those old patterns and habits of telling them what to do and expecting them to do that. o.O So yes do be forgiving of your MIL's ladies, it's harder than you think even when your intentions are totally benign!!!