Swaying pink and despaired

[Grace]

After almost two years of ttc with no luck I feel lost. My 3 boys were all conceived easily, but now after ttcing for so long, with two early mc along the way, it feels like my fertility has gone down the drain [emoji15]. I can feel my body has changed, especially since my last mc 6 months ago- my cycles have become shorter (26 days instead of 28-30), AF is shorter (3-4 bleeding days compared to 6-7 in the past), and very little ewcm before ovulation. I'm not sure whether these changes are age related, as I'm already 42, or a result of swaying. Either way, feels like I have a very low chance to get and stay pregnant. As time goes by, it's getting harder for me to cope with the dissapointment. When AF arrived 3 days ago I was so down, could hardly stop crying all day. To add insult to injurie, my SIL is now pregnant and was told at her 12 week scan last week they're probably having a girl. Needless to say it's very difficult for me to feel happy for her and my brother, even though we thought they would never have kids. What can I do to increase my chances to conceive? It's been a while since my blood work, but everything seemed fine at the time. We've been dtding every 3 days and I've been following the LE-pco-type vegetarian diet. Also taking folic acid and co-Q10. Do you think I should try SMEP? It seems very blue friendly to me, but maybe it's the only thing left for us to try. Or perhaps dtd every other day would be better? Any other supps I should try? Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

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[squigglepink]

Hi Grace

I wouldn't suggest dtd every other day. But in your case Atomic might have something for you to try. Have you tried the e4d plus one at +opk? im assuming you dropped things like antihistamines and sylk and DH fr and jump and dump etc etc if you even had them to begin with!

Im 39 and also trying for pink. My cycles are 26 days long and my AF lasts 3-4 days - so its not unusually short but perhaps unusual for you.. and i only ever have a very little once off ewcm.

Im sorry about your mc's i lost one in between my boys at 3 months

My bestie had a girl after two boys very recently. It was and still is hard.

Keep the faith. Im wishing you all the very best and hopefully someone has some better advise than me for you to try!
Fingers crossed you get a BFP asap xx

[1moregirl]

Grace...I'm sorry to hear about your despair. I can totally relate. I'm turning 45 in a few months and used to be highly fertile I would literally get pregnant at the drop of a hat, so to speak. Even my third and last little boy was conceived with a one-off attempt whilst we were holidaying and not ttc and I was 40. I had him 2 months before I turned 41. Then last year when I was 43 I fell pregnant easily again, only miscarried at 10 weeks. I don't know if that changed things, or if it was the D&C I had to have that's left scarring, or just age, but my fertility seems to have rapidly declined as well. Two months ago I got a BFP, after 5 cycles of ttc, but it turned out to be a very early miscarriage. So I totally get where you are coming from, only its not as bad for me as I have 2 boys and 1 little girl in between. Don't give up if it's what you really want. When I got my BFP two cycles ago, it was the only attempt we'd had using the SMEP pattern, so maybe this is what you need to do too just to conceive. But, ultimately, take Atomic's advice and see what she has to say before you decide what to do next. Good luck! Xx

[Grace]

The more I think about it, the more I feel that if I get a BFP using the SMEP plan it most likely would get me another boy. At this point I know it would almost take a miracle for me to even get pregnant, but still I feel like it would ruin my entire sway. One attempt seems to be getting great success rates for pink sways, but maybe BD once every 3 days is somehow not enough in my case? Well, I have a few more days to make up my mind about our attempt this cycle

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[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. TTC for 2 years is going to make even the strongest person sad. I do want to mention that shorter cycles are totally normal over 40 and 26 days is still well within normal range. Shorter periods are very common on LE diet too and also over 40 this happens too. I got my girl at the same age as you and my period that month was barely 2 days long.

I want you doing SMEP from here on in. Switch from folic acid to folate (sorry it's super expensive I know) I also want you to add in zinc 8-15 mg 3x a week, iron 18-30 mg 3x a week, the lowest Vit. D you can find 2x a week, and if you are not eating much meat, eggs, or dairy, the lowest dose B12 you can finx 2x a week (but only if not eating much meat, eggs, dairy)

[atomic sagebrush]

The more I think about it, the more I feel that if I get a BFP using the SMEP plan it most likely would get me another boy. At this point I know it would almost take a miracle for me to even get pregnant, but still I feel like it would ruin my entire sway. One attempt seems to be getting great success rates for pink sways, but maybe BD once every 3 days is somehow not enough in my case? Well, I have a few more days to make up my mind about our attempt this cycle

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Do NOT BD every other day. It is both blue friendly and doesn't up odds of conception, either. SMEP may be a little blue friendly but at least it improves odds of conception!!!! I do not want anyone BD every other day! It gains you nothing and sways blue. If you gotta sway blue, at least do it in a way that will help you get pregnant.

Grace, I understand how scary it is but of all my swayers who have gone on this long not having conceived, I have ALL of them do SMEP and most of them get girls. It is time for SMEP!

[Grace]

Wow, ok. I'll have to read about SMEP again and then find a way to get DH to work with me.

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[MrsGoodies]

Atomic,

What is SMEP over 40 again?

Bd every 3 days
Plus 1x at opk
Plus next day
Plus day after that? (So 3 days in a row at +opk)?

Also f you are bd every 3 days and your +opk is 1 or 2 days later do you still bd at +opk?

[1moregirl]

I actually downloaded the book "The Sperm Meets Egg Plan...Getting Pregnant Faster," By Deanna Roy. It's a great read! The basic concept of SMEP is - start off after AF BD every other night (or as long as DH releases twice before your pos OPK and commencement of attempts). She recommends testing twice a day, morning and late afternoon, so you can catch your surge precisely when it starts. As soon as you get a positive OPK, you BD that night. You then BD for the next 2 nights in a row as well (so 3 nights altogether in a row from day of first pos OPK). You then skip one night (4th night = no BD) and then you do one BD the next night (5th night), just in case you happened to O a bit later.

The SMEP version for over 35 yr olds is slightly different. You take OPKs as usual and BD every other night (or at least twice from end of AF - day before pos OPK). The day of your positive OPK, BD that night. If you miss that night, just Bd the next morning. On the day after your pos OPK, BD that night (even if you BD that morning). On the third day, BD that morning. Then, if you BD that morning, skip BDing that night and let that be your skip night. Hit it again and BD one more time the next night. On that third day, if you don't BD that morning, just BD that night and skip the 4th night and do one more BD on 5th night. (So it is similar to normal SMEP, only you can add in a few more attempts like they have).

Deanna also states that if your DH has motility problems, then you have to move to an 'every other night' schedule and not do SMEP, but still ensure that you BD the day AFTER your positive OPK, as this day is the MOST important day.

[atomic sagebrush]

Excellent writeup 1more, much appreciated.

Yes her book is great and FREE (and she wants as many people as possible to get it!!) and she has a nice writeup with links to get the book here Sperm Meets Egg Plan