Miracle attempt finished....

[Babygirlquest]

Oh that's frustrating not to have a reference with a healthy pregnancy to compare. I'm praying you get a lovely big surprise at your scan. Please update us when you can.

[MrsGoodies]

Had another blood draw and u/s.

Bubs was in the uterus (yay!)
Gestational sack seen (yay!)
Yolk sack seen (yay!)
Placenta on right (boy?)
Baby measuring 6w3d (should be 7w6)
No heartbeat

My tech was pretty good. She was 62 and told me she had her last baby at 45.5 which somehow made me feel better.

I begged the tech to give me a photo which she reluctantly agreed (said they usually only print them out for viable pg)....Perhaps its morbid to want a picture of my little one but I don't care....IT WAS/IS MY BABY DAMMIT!

Unfortunately, my intutuion was right on the money.....again

image.jpg

I was handling it pretty well. Very matter of fact and down to business....then i looked at the picture in the elevator and started bawling my eyes out

I thought I had prepared myself mentally but stupid me fell in love...too soon...again. I feel so hopeless right now. I just pray this is over with quick.

[Kelbear]

Oh mrsGoodies my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry to hear this, I was hoping it would all be ok and your scan would show a healthy growing bub. I hope you can get through this ok, my thoughts are with you. So so sorry for your loss.

[Babygirlquest]

Definitely not too early to see a heartbeat? I'm so so sorry for your loss honey. I really hope you can get your little rainbow baby soon. Huge hugs x

[Babygirlquest]

Ps I am not trying to give you false hope, I just thought before 8 weeks it was quite hit or miss as to whether you might see a heartbeat. Would it be worth getting a rescan in a couple of weeks just to check the lay of the land?

[1moregirl]

MrsG....what did the blood test results show? Had the hcg levels dropped yet? I am shocked with all of this and soooo sad for you. I don't know what else to say except not to give up hope if it's what you really want. Just have to keep on trying.

[MrsGoodies]

Ps I am not trying to give you false hope, I just thought before 8 weeks it was quite hit or miss as to whether you might see a heartbeat. Would it be worth getting a rescan in a couple of weeks just to check the lay of the land?

Well I'd be 8 weeks tomorrow so pretty darn sure. Also 100% sure of my dates. The tech was very thorough and took a gazillion pics and refused to remove the dildo until she got a look at my L ovary, kidneys...the works.

She zoomed in super close and the screen was perfectly still...no sound at all.

I'm actually relieved bc last time they did find a heartbeat (only 97 bpm which was borderline), baby measured a week behind and it was another 3 weeks of false hopes before finally mc.

I am glad I had a chance to at least see the little one on the screen before saying goodbye.

[1moregirl]

Oh MrsG.....my heart aches for you soooo much. I know how much you wanted this and I have been hoping and praying for you daily that it worked out. I'm totally gutted for you. If only all old dodgy eggs just could NOt be fertilised at all...how much heart ache would it save us? take care of yourself and give yuour sweet boys lots and lots of hugs....that helped me. Xxoo

[MrsGoodies]

Random Thoughts

1. I've shed so many tears tonight it hurts to blink.

2. I want to hit DH with a pillow.

3. Am I being punished?

4. Why do I want this so much?

[Babygirlquest]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve, the feelings you have are normal. You are not being punished and you are not wrong to want it so much. In time I hope your heart heals enough to try again. Please don't give up on your dream.