Due March/April/May 2017 (3)

[purple]

Well apprently I'm still in the 2nd trimester... one week to go if I go by 28 weeks. I thought it was 27 weeks?

[Girlieplease]

We had our big sono last week, it was confirmed that baby is a boy. I'm starting to accept it as much as I can. I realized the comments from people who say things about me only making boys is almost worse than anything. I am not even trying to hide my disappointment at this baby being a boy to anyone. I'm sure people think I'm a horrible mom because i am very open with my feelings about being sad about not having a girl. Baby's heart rate was high at the sono so they are doing an echocardiogram (sono of baby's heart) at 24 weeks. I am not too worried about it but just that little scare made me appreciate him a little more. I had horrible migraines for 4 days leading up to the sono and took quite a few migraine meds so I'm sure his heart rate was just a result of all the meds[emoji17]

All blue everything-I can't wait to find out what you're having!! This is your fifth baby right?? I know of a girl who has 4 boys and just had a baby girl a week ago, they didn't find out what they were having. I was so excited for her and I barely know her lol! You never know, maybe #5 is the lucky number!!!!


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Good to hear from you, I had been wondering as I know your big scan was coming up. Gender disappointment is so horrible. I cannot seem to find a way to come to terms with it. I just don't talk about the pregnancy and am not comfortable if others do, I just wish I did not feel sad all the time. My sister in law is having her baby shower on Sunday and it is going to be pinktastic, I just cannot bear it! I cannot think of a way out of it, sister in law will fall out with me if I don't go. I feel like moving away with my family just so I can get away from all these baby girls! X

[Girlieplease]

Anyone noticed movement? Amnesty 18 weeks, did feel movement at 14 or 15 weeks but nothing recently, should be concerned? Maybe babies positioning? Placenta? X

[Burakoam]

probably position or placenta girlie..idk if yours is anterior or not. Stress can cause a decrease in fetal movement too and no doubt you are stressed.

[Lissastick]

A facebook friend is pregnant with her 3rd child (she has two boys) and she finds out the sex of the baby tomorrow. She asked everyone what they think she's having and I told her I'm guessing GIRL because yeah, everyone I know on FB or real life who is pregnant is getting their desired gender and I am going to SCREAM! It's soooo wrong of me to hope it's a third boy. It's SO wrong of me to think that. I am evil to think that. I am just sick of everyone I personally know getting what they want!!!

jdd1017, I want to say congrats to you, but I know it's probably weird for you to hear that (because it's been weird for me to hear that). So...I want to say...I kind of know what you're going through (not exactly because this is your third child, and third boy, right?) and I am trying to be ok about not getting a girl, and most of the time I am ok, but my jealousy is powerful. I am not jealous of anyone on this forum, but IRL and on FB I am incredibly jealous of people with boys getting their girls and people with girls who want more girls and are getting girls!

I just want to know WHY I couldn't get my girl? Is it because I never really thought I had a chance?? I feel like I did things SO different to when I conceived my son. But, it wasn't enough. I wonder if it would ever be enough. At times I am happy that my new little boy is coming, and would never want to replace him with anyone, but I still CRAVE a daughter. I wish I didn't. This longing is confusing and makes me feel stupid and petty.

It seems I only come on here when I'm having really bad days recently. Sorry ladies!

[Girlieplease]

Thanks bukoram but it's no movement at all, not reduced that is the concerning part.

Lissastick I feel like this two, my sister in law has just announced she is pregnant with a third, she has two girls, she popped her first girl two days after I saw at my 36 week scantily ds1 was a boy not a girl, like I was told at 20 weeks. Then the night before I was due to be induced with ds2 she announced she is having dd2, she is not a nice person anyway, she is not particularly maternal and in my opinion does not care for them properly but she is really keen on having a boy now and it's awful but I hope she has another girl. I just feel so jealous that she got two girls and I did not and she does not even care for them right! But she will probably have a boy because she is just the sort of annoying person who life works out for, but your not alone Inn feeling like this. My brothers wife is pregnant with her first, I love my brother and I hoped and hoped that it would be a boy, he really wanted a boy but of course it is a girl, we have her baby shower on Sunday and I could just cry at the thought if it. My sister in law ( brothers wife) is such a happy, excited pregnant woman it just makes my situation so much more stark and I still look at baby girl clothes in shops qnd think what would I buy! X o

[Burakoam]

Girlie the way you talk lately I think most people would forget you already have a daughter. I know you are hurting, I know the pain of a failed sway, I can get your frustration. But have some mercy on yourself and some mercy on your unborn son who didn't ask to be here and if his movement is pretty much non existent and has been for a while and it's been a bit since you seen your OB you should probably make sure all is okay.

I can understand your resentment towards the people you don't like getting their desired gender... what I can't get is you say you love your brother but are unable to find joy in him having a daughter. What? It's his first baby and I bet he needs his sister to tell him how awesome and amazing girls can be, you had a daughter first and now he is having one first too, that's amazing and I want to tell you a super short story...my dad has me and my aunt has two girls and I have never wanted for anything. Growing up one was EXACTLY like a sister to me, I saw her all the time and we were always hanging out. We still in our late 20's have an excellent and sisterly relationship. Your daughter isn't getting a little Sister in the bio sense but your brother having A daughter could be the best thing for her if you recognize it for what it is! That's your niece, who cares who her mother is that baby is part your brother and so she is also part you!

I just can't wrap my head around it because my sister in law (husbands sister) is having a baby and even though I wanted a boy so bad I will be so happy for her even if it is a boy. How awesome... a nephew. I thought I'd feel horrendous jealousy if anyone close to me had boys and instead I am full of joy for her. They have their gender reveal on Sunday as well and I will find out for sure if I have a niece or a nephew joining the family.. first time being an aunt and I just want baby to be happy and spoiled I can't believe this joy.

The rest is none of my business, I feel the same as you in most ways still girlie. That's just the one place we differ and as your due date buddy and I hope at this point slight friend, you can be there for your brother and revel in all the pink for him when he needs you most and your niece. Take your daughter if she wants to go because I think as much as she wants a sister she may really enjoy all the pink and talking about her cousin.

[Girlieplease]

Bukoram I really am not sure what to say to that, I have been in contact with the pregnancy unit during the week about the lack of movement and they were unconcerned, they specifically told me that it was too early to expect consistent movement and not to come to the hospital. In the uk I cannot go if they tell me not to, they said if I had bleeding I should go up but I have not. I also could not get a appointment with my gp this week, so really I don't have alot of options

My comments in my previous post were trying to offer support to Lissastick, to let her know that she was not alone, irrespective of the circumstances, others feel this way. I think she was been tough on herself, unnecessarily.

I more than anyone wish I did not feel this way, I wish that more than anything but that is not my reality. I get on really well with my brothers wife, it's my other sister law ( my husbands brothers wife) that I think is not nice. I do love my brother and will go tomorrow and tell them how excited I am but it's not how I feel, it is disingenuous of me. I really don't want to feel this way but in reality my cousins wife had her womb removed after having an emergency situation with her first baby, the baby did mot survive, she will never have a baby naturally and I could say to anyone on this site, you have no right to feel x y and z if you have children because at least you have had a child, would that change how they feel? I think not, it just invalidates what they feel. I have tried so hard to change how I feel, there is no way on this earth that anyone would want to feeling way I do, but to sweep it under the carpet is just worse and I think will mean the feelings would come to the fore when the baby is born, which I think is worse.

I have said before I would leave the group if am upsetting people, as really that is not something I want to do. I think people are struggling enough without adding to it. But your post is making me think I should not mention it. We have all come to this site with different desires and for some of us that will be to have a son or a daughter or more than one of a particular gender, maybe to some people I have the perfect family arrangement having at least one of each and what am sure many people on this site aspire to but others with two, three girls that is what I aspired to so why is that not valid?

I appreciate your comments and hope I have not upset you by mine, I think your a straight talker and think you can tolerate the same in return! X o

[Magical22]

No girlie please stay this is a DIG it's when your due and where you belong [emoji846][emoji179]


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[Burakoam]

You arent upsetting me, you worry me, as a friend. i think there is a difference. i dont expect your feelings to change, i wanted to give you the other side of the coin. I explained my feelings on my sister in laws pregnancy in an attempt to make it more relatable to hopefully help you. I still have awful feelings of jealousy especially to though i dont like, and so the awful sister in law i can understand. Im sort of neutral with mine and i guess i find more joy in it because its my husband nephew or niece and that is just so neat to me that he will have that honor...I gave you the story about cousins because i know you wanted the little girl for yourself, but if you encourage a great relationship between your daughter and your brothers daughter there is no reason your daughter cant in some ways fulfill her own dream. I know not all cousins work that way, but to be fair not all siblings have good relationships either. I am hoping for her that it works out for the best!

I didnt reference what you said to lissa, i only mentioned that with some of your descriptions its like you wouldnt know you had ever experienced a daughter. I know why you took offense to that, and you rightly should. but instead of stopping posting thinking im attacking you, now that you know its coming from a place of concern, maybe you could use it to do some self reflection. You are right mam, i am a straight talker when i feel i need to be and i can take the same in return so i hope you can take things at face value. I would tell you if i had something against you or ill will, i dont want your feelings invalidated but i believe 100% you need to know how you come off. I told you, honestly, i relate to how you feel about people you dislike getting what they want. I said simply i just couldnt understand how you cant find joy for your brother. Why? Because i do have all of one gender, i will never have a son, and i can still find joy for my sister in law. But you have a daughter, you at least have that experience, and yet when it comes to potentially the closest thing you will have to another daughter, your niece, you admit you have to fake your joy.

Its not that your disappointment in not having another daughter isnt valid. You took what i said as an attack because you wanted to...obviously there are others that agree with you that it was, and still there are others who know i wasnt attacking you in any way. Two sides to every coin i suppose.

People also shouldnt have to beg you to stay. I never said to get out, or stop posting. I did ask you to reflect on what you posted about, that doesnt mean change what you are posting about but maybe deal with the feelings associated with it. I cant think of anyone else who found out when you and i did about our genders that is still struggling quite like you are. That isnt concerning to you?