First attempt questions X thank you!

[Manda]

Hi Ladies,

Hubby and I are trying this month and only have two months to try due to Hubbys work.

We are TTC a girl, currently day 9 with negative OPK, wanting to query as I'm aware one attempt is best but we are still wanting to conceive in these two months as won't get another chance, therefore are two attempts ok?

Also, Hubby is 45, in terms of sperm quality if we DTD twice in one day, will the second attempt be to dangerous to use or pointless due to amount of sperm/sperm quality or will it be girl friendly?

Thanks Kindly x and Happy New Year x

[atomic sagebrush]

I want you to start having unprotected sex every 3 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK.

I would not DTD twice in one day, not because it's dangerous, but because if you miss O, or something goes wrong and all the sperm die before the egg shows up, you've literally put all your eggs in one basket that way. Have attempts every 3 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK (if your attempt ends up being that day then I'd prob. just leave it at that, up to you though!) Start right away and continue even after you think you've for sure ovulated.

[Manda]

I want you to start having unprotected sex every 3 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK.

I would not DTD twice in one day, not because it's dangerous, but because if you miss O, or something goes wrong and all the sperm die before the egg shows up, you've literally put all your eggs in one basket that way. Have attempts every 3 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK (if your attempt ends up being that day then I'd prob. just leave it at that, up to you though!) Start right away and continue even after you think you've for sure ovulated.

Thank you Atomic,

Slight change of situation and wondering If I could get your advice.

Due to hubbys work he was supposed to be back last night but won't be until tomorrow, we haven't DTD for a week and tomorrow is CD11 (I ovulate on CD13) due to Hubby's age (46), I think using his first release may be a bit risky but unsure of how to give it our best shot his month,
could he release tomorrow (protected) and we DTD on CD13 giving two days for him to replenish?
Would this be girl friendly at all and a good chance of conceiving?

Really want best shot at it this month.

Thanks for all your help x

[atomic sagebrush]

No, even if he releases tomorrow, there can still be unhealthy sperm in the mix. But abstain isn't a guarantee of issues, please understand - the risks are very, very minimal, it's just that any risk, even a minimal one, is too much for me to be recommending something as a deliberate sway tactic. That doesn't mean that it's a horrible thing to just proceed with 7 days abstain - just that I don't like to take chances (even very remote ones) if I can avoid them.

7 days is not that bad anyway - on some sites they had men abstaining for 3 weeks or more!

[Manda]

Thanks Aromic, so in terms of conceiving at all what would be the he healthiest thing for us to do? DTD today? (protected) and then in two days on ovulation? Sorry am just having trouble understanding

Thanks for all your help x

[Manda]

Bump x

[atomic sagebrush]

Please give me at least a day or two before you bump. I answer from oldest to newest and if you bump too soon it just goes up to the top of the rotation and then I don't see it.

Your q came thru after I was off for the day so no way to answer in time, sorry.

The "healthiest" thing would be to have a time machine and go back a couple days and have him release. There's no fixing that now, the unhealthy sperm is in the mix and it takes a few days to a week to get rid of it (even if he released 25 times in a row, it is just the way sperm works because it's always in the process of formation) so what you have to do is decide either to attempt (and please understand, 7 day abstain, the risk is MINIMAL, it's just that it is not necessary and so I don't like to use it as a sway tactic and incur even a minimal risk, but that does not therefore mean that if you attempt now, disaster will strike, in fact it almost certainly won't) or not attempt and wait till next month.

It would be like if I asked you to play a game of russian roulette with a one in 100,000 chance of death. I wouldn't ask anyone to take that chance unless there was a huge payoff (ie a substantially more successful sway). There is NOT that payoff, so I do not have you guys take that chance for abstain (since it really probably does nothing anyway) but just because I don't, doesn't mean that 99,999 people would not be perfectly fine doing it, if that makes sense.

If you want to have an attempt I'd do it o-1 or o-2. Not O day as that's slim odds of conception

[Manda]

Thanks for all your help Atomic! x Apologies if I came across as rude x

[atomic sagebrush]

No, not at all, I just want you guys to get your answers as quick as I can and if you bump it, it takes longer.