Do women tend to prefer girls?

[Greydore]

Oh my gosh you guys are amazing! Thank you for helping me feel like I'm doing an okay job with my boys. I live in a blue collar city in an ultra red state, so I'm definitely in the minority. Most of my co workers think it's weird that I'll paint my 3 year old's nails if he asks and doesn't know how to hold a gun correctly (he'll figure that out as soon as he starts playing with other boys!) I'm rambling, but I think it's a big responsibility to raise 'good men' and I'm happy that I have the honor of doing it (or trying at least, haha).

[Greydore]

Boys ARE easier conceived, according to science, but are also more likely to miscarry; the birth rate is skewed for boys, too, though the overall population rate tends to stay even/slightly skewed for women because males are more likely to die for a variety of reasons. It's honestly been my assumption that because of this is why I see so many TTC girl swayers. Your side of the forums are definitely more active, haha.

I was wondering if that was part of it. I was surrounded by girls growing up, so I never thought it would be a bit more difficult to conceive a girl. I think this kind of stuff is so interesting!

[foxtrotmama]

I always wanted boys. I swayed blue with DS1. It wasn't until DS2 was born and we decided we were done that I suddenly was sad I would never have a daughter.

Honestly I think for me it started as a thing about wanting something because I realized it wasn't likely to happen for me. We were sure we were done, and I'm probably pretty rigged towards having boys to begin with. Counting known losses, I've conceived four boys, and the girl I lost had Turner syndrome (XO).

[atomic sagebrush]

Also, ladies, if we could all be so kind as to avoid uncharitable stereotypes of our fellow Americans, I would appreciate it. there are people here from all walks of life around the country and world and we are all doing the best we can as parents and moms. Thank you.

[Girlieplease]

I always wanted a dd but assumed I would never have on because it's all boys on my side ( apart from me) and all boys on my dh side. When we found out dd was a girl ( first child) the I was over the moon and I just assumed that I would have a second dd as most people I know have the same gender for one and two. I never really thought about having boys but then ds1 come along 18 months after dd. I actually know of very few women in real life that want boys. My sister in law is pregnant with her third after two girls and she wants a boy but she wanted two girls first and now she has that she wants a boy. Lots of my mummy friends in rl that have all boys are desperate for that mother daughter bond and some it has really affected them that they won't have it. Whereas the girl mums, that have no boys, mention that they would have liked a boy but seems less intensity and more accepting of their lot. My brother's wife is expecting their first baby, a girl and my brother is disappointed that it's not a boy and he wants them to keep trying until they have a boy, it's that important to him! X

[Thinkpinkplease]

I really wanted a boy with my first. I got him and was over the moon.
With my second I had an enormous amount of pressure put on me to produce the only granddaughter. It triggered GD greatly at the beginning but I convinced myself I was having a boy and indeed birthed another boy. I adore him. The home birth and breastfeeding experience he has given me brings tears to my eyes.
I am full of guilt being on here at all because it has never meant that I am not happy with what I have.
Societal pressure and comments have made me feel I should want a daughter but when I forget their gender I am very happy with what I have.
My sister has just had her third now and got a boy after two daughters and competitiveness has raised it's ugly head.
I am on here because I love children, I'd love more but we live in a 2 bed. I am curious about swaying, but I repeat daily that it will not be at the expense of the children I already have or may have.
If another child lies in my future I am determined that I will not feel that way again. In the meantime I am learning a lot through here and mostly I just feel sad for all of us that we have ever felt this way for whatever reason.
I hope I have caused no offence by what I write. I am not the best at describing how I feel


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[Thinkpinkplease]

Thanks!

It's funny because I have a similar background to you- I grew up surrounded by girls. I'm 1 of 4 sisters, and have 8 girl cousins, no boy cousins. I wasn't sure what to do with a boy either, but I actually preferred boys. My sisters and I were difficult teenagers and my sister especially always butted heads with our mom. I really wanted that mother- son bond, and I'll admit I love how much my boys adore me. I also am happy that I have the opportunity to raise sensitive sons. My boys know it's okay to cry, they aren't pushed to be strong and tough all the time, we encourage whatever play they are drawn to whether it's dolls or cars, and I'm teaching them consent (i.e., no touching others without permission). Obviously things will get harder as they get older, but I hope basically to not raise future MRA's, haha.

Edited to add: I think people wish for a certain gender with some preconceived notions of what that gender will be. Moms often want daughters to have that female bond, it just doesn't always happen. I know plenty of women who are close with their mothers, but just as many who aren't. My husband is very close with my MIL, while my SIL isn't and has always had a bit of a difficult relationship. People often forget that regardless of gender, kids have their own personalities and may not turn out the way that parents had hoped/expected.

This is so true.
I am so close to my mum. Iv stupidly convinced myself if I had a daughter she would be like that with me but actually my mum and sister don't get on at all and I could end up with that!


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[atomic sagebrush]

It is not about not loving what we already have. We all do, with every fiber of our beings. This is just that thing that won't leave us alone in many cases.

[Throwaway_panther]

I really wanted a boy with my first. I got him and was over the moon.
With my second I had an enormous amount of pressure put on me to produce the only granddaughter. It triggered GD greatly at the beginning but I convinced myself I was having a boy and indeed birthed another boy. I adore him. The home birth and breastfeeding experience he has given me brings tears to my eyes.
I am full of guilt being on here at all because it has never meant that I am not happy with what I have.
Societal pressure and comments have made me feel I should want a daughter but when I forget their gender I am very happy with what I have.
My sister has just had her third now and got a boy after two daughters and competitiveness has raised it's ugly head.
I am on here because I love children, I'd love more but we live in a 2 bed. I am curious about swaying, but I repeat daily that it will not be at the expense of the children I already have or may have.
If another child lies in my future I am determined that I will not feel that way again. In the meantime I am learning a lot through here and mostly I just feel sad for all of us that we have ever felt this way for whatever reason.
I hope I have caused no offence by what I write. I am not the best at describing how I feel


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No, I totally understand it. I don't think any of us WANT that depression that comes with disappointment over sex or a desire for a sex other than our own kids? I talk often about how it's the ultimate cognitive dissonance: being over the moon for our children and loving them wholeheartedly, while still yearning for more as if they're not enough.

Try not to feel guilty. There is no 'crime of the heart' here to want something more. Moms sometimes think about not having kids at all, right? The "wow remember when I could just poop for 10 minutes in peace" thoughts -- we feel what we feel, and it doesn't make us bad for feeling that way.

@Greydore: I totally feel you on the growing up around all girls. It never struck me one way or the other about being able to have one sex or the other despite being in an extended family of literally TWO boys out of 15+ girls. I just assumed, "I will get my boy." If it wasn't for the fact that my generation of cousins are all having predominantly boys, I'd have wondered if we were one of those genetic anomaly families carrying hemophilia or something

[lucyandboys]

I only ever wanted girls. I used to draw my daughters and give them names and make paper clothes for them.
All the men I knew were abusers (to my single mother or to us both) and the boys at school were bullies. Even growing up, all my boyfriends cheated on me and treated me badly. I assumed I'd be single all my life until I met dh (who is the loveliest man I've ever met and also the product of a single mother!). I just felt that women/girls were nicer people. Dh agreed, and wanted girls too!

When ds1 was born, I was of course overjoyed & fell in love, as I knew I would. I did assume I'd have a girl next, though. Nope, another gorgeous boy and another. I have also tried to shy away from gender stereotypes (although very difficult, especially once they reach school age & want to be the same as other boys. The older two are big into fighting atm, but you never know, perhaps if they were girls they would be too) and bring them up to be good people who hopefully treat women and children (and men) well. They are fab people and I wouldn't change anything about them. If I do have a successful sway, I won't love her any more or less than I do my boys and I'll probably try to treat in the same way, as much as possible. If I don't, I will still be happy with my lot, but there will always be that sadness for the daughter I never had.