Due June/July/August 2017 (2)

[MrsSparkles]

GirlieCat - So sorry that your friend has said hurtful things.
It's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes, but sometimes people say things, because of their own experiences or even preconceived ideas.
Hopefully she'll start being a bit more supportive and get over herself.
There are plenty of Mums that are back to work quickly, it's 2017 !!!!

[GirlieCat]

Thanks Sparkles. Sorry your friend is saying similar things. I will say, it is a great learning process so that hopefully I can be more aware of my words to others in the future. I am sure we are all guilty of saying things that might upset someone else without realizing what we are doing. Or maybe they do realize and are intentionally trying to hurt you...humm (my oldest sister is the queen of pretending not to be mean when really she is doing it on purpose).

[Kelbear]

Feeling bit down today. Had another look at 12 week scan, nearly 100% sure it's a boy. Won't find out for sure but feeling so disappointed that I don't think I will ever get my little girl. Can 100% see stacking and beginning of boy bits. As we are only having two children just feel so sad. Wished I hadn't looked now. Tried so hard with my sway for 6 months, feel like a failure. Both my parents and MIL want a girl and think it is a girl as my morning sickness is worse. They are just going to make the disappointment even harder. I am grateful if we have a healthy baby and I know my DS will love having a brother but a piece of me feels like it will always be missing now.

[MrsSparkles]

Kelbear.
I'm so sorry you're feeling down.
I would say that '12week scans aren't accurate' , but I do think sometimes we just know.
It won't mean much to you right now, but my gender disappointed was awful.
Now I couldn't be happier I'm having a boy, we have the most wonderful opportunity to gift the world with good men (lord knows there's a shortage at the moment).
Get the gender confirmed, and if it is a boy then start the healing process. We will all be here for you.
There's a wonderfully supportive group of ladies in the Gender Dissapointment section.
Lots of ladies who are going, or have gone through the same as you

[MrsSparkles]

Thanks Sparkles. Sorry your friend is saying similar things. I will say, it is a great learning process so that hopefully I can be more aware of my words to others in the future. I am sure we are all guilty of saying things that might upset someone else without realizing what we are doing. Or maybe they do realize and are intentionally trying to hurt you...humm (my oldest sister is the queen of pretending not to be mean when really she is doing it on purpose).

You know you're so right.
I said something bad to another pregnant Mama...I remarked on how big her beautiful bump was getting.
Afterwards I realised that just because I am desperate for a bump, it doesn't mean she feels the same.

It is all a learning process.

Can't agree with people like your sister who do it on purpose, especially when they style it out like "I didn't mean anything by it" grrrrrrr
Again, it's a lesson in patience and tolerance...which I have a feeling we will need a lot of in the next few years #ToddlerTantrums lol

[BabsNMK]

Kelbear I'm in the same boat as you. I wrote a huge post in the Gender Dissapoibtment forum and it temporarily lifted my spirits to hear feedback. I had a feeling at 10 weeks it was not #3 and then at the 12 week scan it was obvious. They often mistake girls that turn out to be boys but rarely the other way. It's been a month since the scan and I cry most days. I have no doubt I'll love him when he's here, but I'm extremely depressed which is ridiculous since I have by all appearances a healthy baby. No matter what people say (and yes my two boys love playing with and just generally love each other. It's awesome and the coolest thing to each), it doesn't help the pain of knowing you'll never have a daughter. I wish I could tell you something that will lift your spirits but I've found nothing so far despite how well meaning people are. Hang in there and if necessary vent to me. I feel very isolated and alone with these feelings.

[XXforhubby]

Hang in there Babs and Kelbear. Know you can always share your thoughts here with us, free of judgement. Don't bottle in your feelings and know you are not alone. While you know you will love the baby you are carrying and will bond with him once he's here, it's the death of a dream that takes time to deal with. My heart goes out to you both. You will find your way in time. I'm not sure that it's something you ever get over- it's something you just learn to accept with time. My grandma (Dads mom) wanted a girl badly and had 3 sons. To this day she says she wishes she could have tried one more time. My grandma (mom's mom) always wanted a boy but had 3 girls. She had the biggest GD with her second daughter. She said that she simply couldn't handle having 4 children and spoiled her nephews instead.

(((Huge hugs)))



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]

[GirlieCat]

In pregnancy news, I had my Quad screen drawn a few weeks ago and received the call that it was positive for risk Trisomy 18. Baby is 1:49 risk ratio for Trisomy 18. I am being referred to Maternal Fetal Medicine. They're getting me in on Thursday for an US and if warranted an amniocentesis. I am hoping they entered my dates in wrong or something. Dh's older brother died when he was 6mons old from a heart defect and very well could have been a T18 baby.
I am trying not to worry, I am aware that the Quad screen results have many false positives. I just can't believe this. How wanted this little man is, how we finally have found peace with our family and how crushed my son will be {whole family of course}. I just am the 'what if' person and 'prepare for the worst'.
Thanks for reading í*½í²™

Hi Bre- been a while since we heard from you. Any update on the test results? Hope all is well.

[Kelbear]

I just wish I hadn't looked at the 12 week scans. I didn't think I would be able to see anything clearly so just looked out of curiosity as we were not going to get gender confirmed as I was worried I would feel like this. I didn't realise it would be so clear on the scan at 12 weeks 3 days. Cried on and off yesterday arvo and again today and barely slept last night. Just so crushed that my dream of a daughter will never come true and disappointed for my hubby as he dearly wants a girl this time. We won't have another baby after this so just seems so final. I don't know if I would have felt this bad if I hadn't swayed, just really thought I had a good chance at getting my DD this time. I know brothers are great and I am sure they will be best mates but I can't shake this sadness. I am so thankful that the baby looks to be healthy so far and I also feel guilty because I am so disappointed when I should be grateful.
Thank you all so much for your support

[BabsNMK]

Kelbear obviously I can relate. I didn't sleep the first two nights. Over the past month it has gotten better but the pain is still with me daily. I'm sure by the time he's here I'll be somewhat normal. I personally feel that swaying got my hopes up. It made me feel like I had control over what is essentially an uncontrollable situation. So many people have success or it seems that way because you hone in on that, but the reality is swaying is only lightly tipping the odds. And really especially in the stats folder, I'm sure a lot of people that swayed don't even end up relaying their results if it's not what they swayed for. So it makes it all look more successful than it may be. I believe the science behind swaying but unfortunately I don't know that it makes that "much" of a difference. Mentally I didn't even think about that. So the disappointment is so much greater because I thought of course if I swayed hard enough it would work. And that's false. And the finality is the worst part. I battle daily with if I could manage to do one more and keep thinking maybe. But reality is not likely. I don't know where we'd find the space or the money. So then I get upset all over again. And unless you've experienced this feeling, you can't possibly say you understand or can relate...because it's a very unique feeling. My friends with Pigeon pairs or even just girls tell me they can relate. But they truly can't.