Swaying and dissapointment ?

**purplepoet20** · October 21st, 2011, 02:19 PM

Originally Posted by zanacal

... and I really wouldn't want to label that child as a 'fail' in any shape or form before they've even been born!

SO TRUE... My mom labeled me as a replacement for my older sister who passed away 3y's before I was born. She made sure I knew everyday that I was a failed replacement and a disapointment.

I tell my boys everynight that they are my "greatest gift"

**Flava** · October 21st, 2011, 02:27 PM

purple you know your mom just don't deserve you! she is freaking mean!!!

We tried for a boy the last 2 times and we got girls and they are just so awesome and sweet no way a fail!

**purplepoet20** · October 21st, 2011, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by Flava

purple you know your mom just don't deserve you! she is freaking mean!!!

We tried for a boy the last 2 times and we got girls and they are just so awesome and sweet no way a fail!

Thank You... My MIL got my hubby to say a few things about my childhood and in my birthday card she wrote that I was the second best thing that God made (her son being the first

)

Flava all your girls are adorable and well worth it. But I know a boy for you would be worth the wait.

**love being a mummy** · October 21st, 2011, 10:53 PM

Sorry for the bad choice of words. "fail" I've just read it on a few sites so thought thats what it was called.
You all have such a great outlook on it.
Very glad I found this site.

**rainbowflower** · October 22nd, 2011, 03:51 AM

we can only give it our best go, give nature the biggest nudge that we can.... and if we end up with an opposite that opposite child obviously wanted us to be their mummy and daddy very much to overcome the odds!

I'd personally regret not giving it out best shot more than I would getting an opposite

**atomic sagebrush** · October 22nd, 2011, 09:58 AM

I have a weird perspective on this because I was swaying and took a month off and then got accidentally pg that month.

Personally, for ~me~ it was 1000 times worse to not get my "shot" at swaying than it was to get an opposite. BEfore I got pg, I felt like (and this is even in my blog) that if I had a sway that I felt good about, I could let the chips fall where they may and walk away with my head held high no matter the outcome. But to have that taken away from me, it was like the universe was giving me a big middle finger and telling me that no matter what I want, I will just never get it. Want a daughter? Nope. Want a good sway? Nope, not even that. Then I found out I lost a twin early in pg and that made my pg and birth very complicated and high risk and the whole thing made me feel like God hated me (and I still feel that way TBH - that feeling has been a lot tougher to overcome than GD was, for sure.)

But I had done a lot of hard work to get over GD by that point. I know that for some people, they really cannot handle and do not want a child of a certain gender and for those people, swaying may make their GD worse by promising things and that is why I believe that anyone who really does not want or enjoy a kid of a certain gender, that they should go HT rather than risk swaying because it's not a guarantee.

The other thing to consider is that by virtue of doing nothing, you're actually kind of swaying in a way, towards the gender of child you "usually" conceive. I know that with DS 3 especially, I may as well have been swaying blue. As blue-friendly as my lifestyle tends to be, I felt like I had to sway pink just to get myself to 50-50!!!

**atomic sagebrush** · October 22nd, 2011, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by love being a mummy

Sorry for the bad choice of words. "fail" I've just read it on a few sites so thought thats what it was called.
You all have such a great outlook on it.
Very glad I found this site.

Oh no, not at all! No need to apologize, that is what people call it. I do think maybe we need a new term on this site tho! I kinda prefer "sway opposite".

**love being a mummy** · October 22nd, 2011, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I kinda prefer "sway opposite".

That sounds good

**zanacal** · October 22nd, 2011, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Oh no, not at all! No need to apologize, that is what people call it. I do think maybe we need a new term on this site tho! I kinda prefer "sway opposite".

I was going to say the same and I'm sorry if it seemed like I was getting at you - the term is used by many but I just don't like it! I prefer sway opposite too

**Flava** · October 22nd, 2011, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by purplepoet20

Thank You... My MIL got my hubby to say a few things about my childhood and in my birthday card she wrote that I was the second best thing that God made (her son being the first

)

Flava all your girls are adorable and well worth it. But I know a boy for you would be worth the wait.

Sound like at least your MIL is nice!

Oh for sure my baby boy would worth the wait! But wher is he?? And we are not even trying anymore DH says...so if this a bfn no chance for me.
I see so many cute little boy why can't I have one?

Gender Dreaming Forums

Thread: Swaying and dissapointment ?

Thread Tools

Posting Permissions