Abstain or e4d

[Prayingforagirl67]

So I have a few questions regarding when to dtd and the frequency.

My husband and I will be having our first official attempt right after the holidays, we do not use protection but being that I have been tracking my cycle, we have just been avoiding my fertile window completely.

I am 25 and my husband is 27 and we were wondering what method would be better for us to use.
But first I want to make sure that I’m correct in what I think abstaining and e4d is, I’m assuming abstaining is not having sex from the time AF is done all the way up until your attempt?
And e4d is having sex then waiting 4 days to have sex again?
If I’m incorrect please feel free to correct me!

Would FR mean for DH to use a condom if we do end up doing e4d up until our 1 attempt?

I did read atomic’s post on frequency and I don’t know why but it’s just not clicking for me!

My period was due yesterday, didn’t get it took a pret test and got a BFN, so I’m thinking AF will be coming either tomorrow or Saturday, should my husband start doing FR? All the way up to our attempt? How exactly does that work, especially now that I’m not sure when I will be fertile ( I usually get a pos OPK CD 17, with a 29-30 day cycle. Last month I was supposed to OV at the end of Nov but all of my opks were negative, so my cycle is a little thrown off) so with that being said if my husband starts doing FR (which would be ejaculation daily) if it ends up being longer then 10 days even before OV is due won’t that change mometely deminish my chances of conceiving?

I’m a little lost and I don’t know if I’m making this more complicated then it should be!

With my son, I’m actually surprised that we even conceived. We DTD every single day and sometimes more then once, now, we just do not have the time. I’m not sure if that makes much of a difference when ttc a girl. Does frequency mater?

[atomic sagebrush]

Bump this for me for tomorrow but just want to make sure you've seen the following:

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...pink-blue.html

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...off-with-O-12=

and I think you already saw this one http://genderdreaming.com/forum/show...-pink-and-blue

Anyway I'll swing back by tomorrow to answer in more depth but you don't have to do anything yet. You are fine to hold off for my reply none of those methods need to be started until closer to your attempt.

[Prayingforagirl67]

Bump!
Thank you atomic, I did see the one but will give the other 2 a read now!

[Prayingforagirl67]

Atomic, by reading the second link posted, my husband and I were going to do abstain with cutoff, before ven knowing what it was called.
My plan has been to not have sex during AF all the way until I got a pos OPK, having our one attempt and hoping for the best. With that being said I was supposed to get Af Wednesday and she has still yet to show, timing for us never really works out as sex for us is never really planned, but as I said before my husband is able to abstain since usually we don’t have sex during AF and usually wait until after my fertile window is over anyway. I’m just not sure if what we are planning to do is good for a girl sway!

[atomic sagebrush]

At 24 and 27 I would ahve you start off with one attempt after abstain.

Abstain is not having your husband release at all (not only sex, but having a release) for 7-10 days before you expect to ovulate. Some people this will be AF, but others have longer cycles and may need to start the abstain later (to prevent having too long an abstain.) I prefer no longer than 14 days max.

e4d is having sex unprotected every 4 days (either Mon/Thurs or Mon/Friday pattern) starting after AF and going on till you are sure you've ovulated. I would not recommend starting with this given your ages.

FR means daily release eitehr on his own or with you with a condom every day for 7-10 days before having one attempt. Again, most people won't need to start this until 7-10 days before they expect to ovulate.

Doing FR for many days in a row is much more forgiving than doing abstain many days in a row.

Yes, you're probably making it more complicated than it needs to be. Honestly, neither abstain nor FR have really seemed to add anything. I do think it could potentially sway or I wouldn't keep it in the mix but it's not worth putting all this strain on yourself. The important thing is the one attempt.

It's possible to get pregnant from DTD every day but I don't recommend doing it that way because it may either cut odds of conception or else sway blue for those guys who can shake it off.

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic, by reading the second link posted, my husband and I were going to do abstain with cutoff, before ven knowing what it was called.
My plan has been to not have sex during AF all the way until I got a pos OPK, having our one attempt and hoping for the best. With that being said I was supposed to get Af Wednesday and she has still yet to show, timing for us never really works out as sex for us is never really planned, but as I said before my husband is able to abstain since usually we don’t have sex during AF and usually wait until after my fertile window is over anyway. I’m just not sure if what we are planning to do is good for a girl sway!

the important thing is the one attempt. as long as you have only one attempt, that is what matters. abstain, fr, even just having him "do what he does" - the frequency patterns didn't work, the one attempt DID. So focus on the one attempt.

[Prayingforagirl67]

One attempt it definitely is! After talking to my DH again he’s not so sure if he could abstain for that long although he said he would try he feels like he could do FR easier then abstain so I guess we will just see how this goes! As long as we just have one attempt we should be good!

[atomic sagebrush]

If he can't do it, don't do it. It really hasn't gotten spectacular results for us anyway. If he prefers FR or reg. release that's just fine and dandy. The one attempt is the important thing!

[Prayingforagirl67]

That sounds great! Would pulling out count as an added attempt? We use NFP as I am very sensitive to condoms, I don’t want to do something out of total ignorance and end up having more then 1 attempt in the fertile window!

[atomic sagebrush]

No. Pulling out is not an attempt unless he has an oopsie and lets fly inside.