Hesitant about ttc

[Bluebooties]

I second what the other ladies just said. My DD3 currently 20 week old simply adores DD1 who is 8 years older than her more than DD2 who is 4 tears older than her. Its all about personalities. Now even though i didnt plan it this way but having an age gap helped me a lot. My DD3 is practically being raised by dd1 and dd2. I can actually sit and relax or go about my house work knowing that the eldest 2 are looking out for dd3 and making sure she is entertained and out of trouble.

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[Throwaway_panther]

I am team green but i strongly feel given the odds that this will be another girl. I at this point have just accepted defeat and my fate. Whats destined will happen no matter how much i beat myself over it.

I was and still am petrified. Bring the planner that i am i had never in my wildest dreams imagined having 2 kids in diapers and drinking from bottles/sippy cups. I am thus actively working on potty training my 20 month old and have already taken her off bottles but i feel its unfair on her that all of a sudden mommy is now pushing her to be a "big girl"

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AHHH. You're pregnant again BB?! I had no idea! Congratulations!! I hope you get your boy <3333

[Bluebooties]

Thanks Tp ! I deliver tomorrow so we shall see but i am not getting my hopes up.

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[MiaMelb]

Thanks Tp ! I deliver tomorrow so we shall see but i am not getting my hopes up.

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Aaaah wow, didn't realise you were so so close to delivery BB. How exciting (and terrifying). Wishing you a quick and safe delivery and a beautiful healthy baby at the end. Looking forward to hearing your news over the next few days.

[Bluebooties]

Aaaah wow, didn't realise you were so so close to delivery BB. How exciting (and terrifying). Wishing you a quick and safe delivery and a beautiful healthy baby at the end. Looking forward to hearing your news over the next few days.

Its a girl !

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[MiaMelb]

Its a girl !

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BB Congratulations on the arrival of another beautiful daughter to add to your brood. In time, her and DD3 will be inseparable I imagine, so much mischief to be had. Wishing you a speedy recovery and that DD4 settles in well.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. I'm going to throw my 2cents out here which is:

Sometimes guys say "I'll support your decision" as a method of dodging the responsibility of the decision while reserving the right to hold you accountable for everything that happens after that. That's my take on it (and my experience as well) I'm not saying this is necessarily true for your hubby but it is something I have seen happen. It is a passive aggressive thing - "yes you make this choice" said out loud and then there is resentment when you make the "wrong" choice. So just be aware, again, not saying this is what is happening but I do feel that it happens and has happened to me personally.

I think it's really natural to have some hesitation TTC anyway and when you feel like your partner is not in it to win it, it adds to the ambivalence of the whole thing.

Wishing you wisdom in knowing what the right thing to do is.

[atomic sagebrush]

As much as I'm panicking over the age gap of my DD with any possible sibling, I do want to say: I don't think a third DD OR DS would be a third wheel. At least not all the time. I think all 3 kid families inevitably have that dynamic at times, but it changes! I am very close to my sister 8 years younger than me, who is not at all close to my sister 5 years older than her (I am close with both). My husband isn't even remotely close to his Irish twin, but is much closer to his brother 3 years younger. It all comes down to personality!

I completely agree with this. My 3 younger ones, 2 boys and a girl, are peas in a pod. Sometimes one of them is off by themselves, but it's almost always voluntary. Whereas my two older boys never really got along that well (even though they do now as adults). It's just the kids personalities that matter the most.

[MiaMelb]

Ok. I'm going to throw my 2cents out here which is:

Sometimes guys say "I'll support your decision" as a method of dodging the responsibility of the decision while reserving the right to hold you accountable for everything that happens after that. That's my take on it (and my experience as well) I'm not saying this is necessarily true for your hubby but it is something I have seen happen. It is a passive aggressive thing - "yes you make this choice" said out loud and then there is resentment when you make the "wrong" choice. So just be aware, again, not saying this is what is happening but I do feel that it happens and has happened to me personally.

I think it's really natural to have some hesitation TTC anyway and when you feel like your partner is not in it to win it, it adds to the ambivalence of the whole thing.

Wishing you wisdom in knowing what the right thing to do is.

Thanks Atomic for your thoughts. DH is definitely the passive aggressive type. However he's not very malicious so I suspect his reluctance to really make a decision comes more from not wanting to rock the boat and not wanting to mess with something that's working. He actually really likes kids and is always very good with ours, perhaps he's just a little tired. On a side note too he told me yesterday that he'd raised this idea of another baby with DD1 and asking her thoughts so he's perhaps getting his head around the idea.

[boywish]

Congrats on the arrival of DD2. It will be interesting to see how your heart feels in a years time? Two years time?
Am I right you are in Aust too?

Thank you! Yes I'm in Aus too. I think if we could do HT here in Aus I wouldn't think twice about it, however the cost of HT overseas has me questioning it all, but as I already have 1 failed sway I don't know that I want to rely on swaying again - but who knows maybe third time is the charm?