Awesome April 2ww & TTC thread [emoji120]

[Pbn3]

Kittendreams do you temp? A 4-o is pretty darn low odds but if you and dh are pretty fertile then there still is a chance! I see you'd rather have a bit longer swaying first though so I'm torn between hoping the oopsie results in a bfp (they often result in desired gender) and a bfn so you feel good about feeling you gave your best. At the end of the day, what will be will be and it will be meant to be [emoji173]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

[Pbn3]

Abc and mummy2boys I want to comment on your situations (feeling wise) but don't want to do it on the fly as such... so I'm going to mull over it abit and come back soon. So much love to you both [emoji173][emoji173][emoji173]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

[emshe]

Emshe it's so good to hear from you! I was already missing you [emoji173] please come back if you change your mind about trying this cycle, even if its a ntnp one! I see you're still temping (I will not delete your chart link just yet for stalking purposes [emoji6]) so I'm crossing everything that maybe you'll just kick back, bd every few days and just see what happens (temping still of course [emoji12])

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

Thanks pbn, I miss this too as much as I try to stay away, & you must have read my mind, I’ve been mulling over the idea of ntnp.

I’ll be temping, but I’m kinda enjoying a break, didn’t take clomid either. I’ll be actively back in June probably if you’re sticking around!?

Must admit I’ve been very much in the same headspace as ABC & mummy.
Life is passing by so quickly, & it’s so appealing to just LIVE but then I read something along the lines of “never give up on something you can’t go a day without dreaming about”
TORN.

Thinking of you all...




https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

[Pbn3]

Gosh emshe, those are such strong words...

So I just want to say to yourself, mummy, Abc and even noemi that I really do understand the conflicting feelings. It's terribly draining both mentally and physically. I twice got to a point that I felt ok moving on with life. The first time, I got pregnant the cycle I said I was not trying anymore following it (and by this time I'd been just ttc and not swaying for 4/5 months or so and one loss) I ended up losing that pregnancy too and it was by far my worst loss and the one that resulted in my depression pretty much exploding. However it bought back all those feelings I'd thought I had moved on from and if anything the desire be pregnant again was stronger than it had ever been. But I did say to myself it would be 3 strikes and you're out, I would accept it wasn't going to happen if I lost a 3rd pregnancy. And then I did. And then I still couldn't kick that itch.... So I gave myself, and promised my husband, just 3 more cycles trying and I would 100% accept it wasn't to be. For me there HAD to be an end in sight and I honestly believe I'd come to that point, finally!! So we didn't get pregnant during those 3 cycles (again I'm talking about ttc only so very, very conception friendly attempts) and by that 3rd cycle I found I had already mentally moved on. I felt a distinct shift in my mental health on the matter. I was excited about being just a family of 4, excited at the thought of returning to work casual hours, excited to be in a head space that didn't involve ttc. I literally felt lighter and more free than I had in the last couple years. I had zero regret throwing out my thermometer, giving away my last clomid cycle, uninstalling ff etc etc. It's so hard to describe the relief at getting af that last cycle trying and knowing that I was no longer beholden to it. I felt almost euphoric! I began feeling so much more closer to my boys in the days after, not that I'd neglected them during my journey, but I felt I'd wasted so much brain thought and emotion time on it that could've gone to them??? I think you'll understand what I mean... anyway I honestly believe you will get to THAT point when you can accept it's time to move on but it's different for everyone. Try and not put an exact time limit on it. I did but I'd done it then shifted it more than once [emoji23] Try and be a little flexible? Just accept that when you're ready to give up you will know you are! Trust me, there will be no doubts, you will feel it and be 100% sure and if there's any doubt then you're not [emoji173] I honestly believe there is something to NTNP, big time, especially when you're experiencing unexplained infertility or multiple losses. So even if you want to give up actively ttc, maybe give yourself the flexibility of NTNP. I feel so strongly about this because I want soooo much for you ladies to experience your rainbow babies. I would go through my journey all over again if it meant you all could. I sometimes feel guilty about hanging around because I'm so bloody freaking unbelievably happy I had an oopsie I never even considered an oopsie that resulted in my rainbow baby and I thank the universe for her every day [emoji22]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

[Noemi2017]

Great u enjoyed holiday

[Noemi2017]

Thx u all girls here for wish me good luck with attempt today. My opk today:9AD43755-76D8-4D2E-9DC4-5C84F5D2EC06.jpeg

[emshe]

Gosh emshe, those are such strong words...

So I just want to say to yourself, mummy, Abc and even noemi that I really do understand the conflicting feelings. It's terribly draining both mentally and physically. I twice got to a point that I felt ok moving on with life. The first time, I got pregnant the cycle I said I was not trying anymore following it (and by this time I'd been just ttc and not swaying for 4/5 months or so and one loss) I ended up losing that pregnancy too and it was by far my worst loss and the one that resulted in my depression pretty much exploding. However it bought back all those feelings I'd thought I had moved on from and if anything the desire be pregnant again was stronger than it had ever been. But I did say to myself it would be 3 strikes and you're out, I would accept it wasn't going to happen if I lost a 3rd pregnancy. And then I did. And then I still couldn't kick that itch.... So I gave myself, and promised my husband, just 3 more cycles trying and I would 100% accept it wasn't to be. For me there HAD to be an end in sight and I honestly believe I'd come to that point, finally!! So we didn't get pregnant during those 3 cycles (again I'm talking about ttc only so very, very conception friendly attempts) and by that 3rd cycle I found I had already mentally moved on. I felt a distinct shift in my mental health on the matter. I was excited about being just a family of 4, excited at the thought of returning to work casual hours, excited to be in a head space that didn't involve ttc. I literally felt lighter and more free than I had in the last couple years. I had zero regret throwing out my thermometer, giving away my last clomid cycle, uninstalling ff etc etc. It's so hard to describe the relief at getting af that last cycle trying and knowing that I was no longer beholden to it. I felt almost euphoric! I began feeling so much more closer to my boys in the days after, not that I'd neglected them during my journey, but I felt I'd wasted so much brain thought and emotion time on it that could've gone to them??? I think you'll understand what I mean... anyway I honestly believe you will get to THAT point when you can accept it's time to move on but it's different for everyone. Try and not put an exact time limit on it. I did but I'd done it then shifted it more than once [emoji23] Try and be a little flexible? Just accept that when you're ready to give up you will know you are! Trust me, there will be no doubts, you will feel it and be 100% sure and if there's any doubt then you're not [emoji173] I honestly believe there is something to NTNP, big time, especially when you're experiencing unexplained infertility or multiple losses. So even if you want to give up actively ttc, maybe give yourself the flexibility of NTNP. I feel so strongly about this because I want soooo much for you ladies to experience your rainbow babies. I would go through my journey all over again if it meant you all could. I sometimes feel guilty about hanging around because I'm so bloody freaking unbelievably happy I had an oopsie I never even considered an oopsie that resulted in my rainbow baby and I thank the universe for her every day [emoji22]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

Much love & appreciation to you Pbn. I am so happy you got your girl, your dream after going through so much, truly deserved happiness.

I get it & I kind of feel I’m nearly there.
It’s the routine of it that keeps me going in someways as well as the dream. I often ask what do I do if I’m not doing this!?

Little things I’ve been doing the last couple of days/weeks have made me go huh that’s cool-
*lightening up a bit on diet & managing it within limits to alleviate guilt. icecream one night, but shocked last night to fit s’mores on the fire (camping style in the backyard) as well as some cheese twisties all in. massive thanks to US ladies for the amazing concept of s’mores. Wow!

*chasing sunrises & generally noticing beauty in nature

*cuddling our puppies- gees they’re ratbags but they are fine cute & funny little things

*getting my boys to tag along on my exercise. They ride I walk, it’s good seeing them hit the pavement too

Don’t know whether it will help anyone but I’m trying to find simple things to distract me & make the days brighter, I hope you all can too


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

[gafan]

Sorry Mummy I was really thinking you were going to get a BFP.

Good luck Noemi!

Kitten - yea I'm in the same boat, except I still don't even know if I did actually ovulate. I think the odds are pretty low for both of us!

Gafan - You had a bit of a dip today - Possibly implantation dip? Would def be the right time for that at 7 dpo!

HGMama - Ugh yea I haven't gotten any of our medical bills yet but I know they are coming. With my doctors appointments, D&C, and all this testing they've been doing, it's all going to add up. Thankfully we maxed out our health savings account this year thinking we were probably going to have to be having a baby! Instead we'll be using that to pay for miscarriage and recurrent pregnancy loss testing

I've been pretty depressed the past few days. Struggling a lot on the diet - I'm just so over ALL of this - swaying, TTC-ing, BFPs, losing babies. I think multiple times a day about just giving it all up. I'm just so freaking tired (physically and mentally). I don't know.

ABC, it makes sense to me that you feel that way. You have been through a lot! A nap and some treats might help you feel a bit better. Hugs.

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6e5253



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[gafan]

ABC I feel exactly the same. I'm so fed up of it all. I feel in limbo too because I need an operation due to having a mild prolapse but can't have it till I've finished babies so I'm putting it off and that makes me miserable too as I can't run, jump etc without feeling very uncomfortable. It's rubbish. I'm not ready to stop trying yet but it feels like it's not going to happen. I want to be able to relax about it all, stop temping/opks/ supplements etc and just chill out but my obsessiveness won't let me!
Is it worth you having a bit of a break? Coming off the diet and giving yourself a bit of time? You've had such a tough few months. I'd do this but my age doesn't give me that option, feel like if it doesn't happen soon then it's not going to.


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Mummy2, what a complicated and frustrating situation! I am sorry to hear you can't run or jump without pain. It sounds like you have been swaying diligently for a long time and feel so much pressure. I wonder if a few extra treats might help you too? I understand feeling the time crunch (I feel that too) and the obsessive part... that makes it difficult to take a full break. I wonder if a few extra treats (food, movie, massage, whatever you like) might help shift away from obsessive a little and help that way?

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[gafan]

This week I had a stressful dream that I woke up at noon and it was too late to temp. Lol!

Think I should wait until Tuesday to test with wondfo pregnancy tests?


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6e5253

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