May 2018 TTC & 2ww thread

[HealthyGirl]

Need guidance and need to vent during this difficult time. Anyone been in this predicament?
To my surprise I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number # 3. It’s a total surprise since we had to get pregnant with baby # 2 with the help of fertility doctors.
We have 2 amazing boys age 2 and 5 and my husband is not handling this news well at all. I’m honestly not thrilled either since we have our hands already full and can’t imagine having 3 kids. Financially it’s doable but physically it’s not since our 2 boys weren’t easy as infants and the 5 year old is still challenging. I’m 38 and my husband is 40 and our age isn’t working in our favor either. My husband told me he made a list of pros and cons and he can’t find any pros to having a third child.
My logical side tells me the same things but part of me wants to see if this is a girl. I tols him I want to wait to find out gender at 10/11 weeks and he sees no point in it. He keeps saying he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl or Albert Einstein. He says I should terminate this pregnancy for the sake and well being of our current family. I’m so hurt and conflicted. My logical part says he is correct but my emotional side says I should wait to find out sex but I’m worried waiting that long will make it more difficult. I’m worried if I end it now I will have resentment towards my husband and if for some reason we keep this pregnancy my husband will have resentment towards me.
Any insight is really appreciated it.

Thanks


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[HGmama]

HealthyGirl-
I'm sorry I don't have a lot of advice for you as I nor anyone I know has been in this situation that I know of.
Since this is really a TTC board, we may not be much help.
Maybe netmums has a board about unplanned pregnancies.
Sorry for your predicament.

[wildlyluna]

Need guidance and need to vent during this difficult time. Anyone been in this predicament?
To my surprise I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number # 3. It’s a total surprise since we had to get pregnant with baby # 2 with the help of fertility doctors.
We have 2 amazing boys age 2 and 5 and my husband is not handling this news well at all. I’m honestly not thrilled either since we have our hands already full and can’t imagine having 3 kids. Financially it’s doable but physically it’s not since our 2 boys weren’t easy as infants and the 5 year old is still challenging. I’m 38 and my husband is 40 and our age isn’t working in our favor either. My husband told me he made a list of pros and cons and he can’t find any pros to having a third child.
My logical side tells me the same things but part of me wants to see if this is a girl. I tols him I want to wait to find out gender at 10/11 weeks and he sees no point in it. He keeps saying he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl or Albert Einstein. He says I should terminate this pregnancy for the sake and well being of our current family. I’m so hurt and conflicted. My logical part says he is correct but my emotional side says I should wait to find out sex but I’m worried waiting that long will make it more difficult. I’m worried if I end it now I will have resentment towards my husband and if for some reason we keep this pregnancy my husband will have resentment towards me.
Any insight is really appreciated it.

Thanks


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I was in a similar situation when I fell pregnant with Ds3 , he was a big surprise, my eldest didn’t sleep and has ASD so it was hard, financially we weren’t in a good place, but someone told me, you will never ever regret the children you do have! And this is true for me, he is so wonderful! I can’t imagine our life without him.

It’s really only a decision you can make, because ultimately you have to live with it either way.

Good luck x


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[Pbn3]

Healthygirl I agree that perhaps you can post this question in another area? There is a whole lot of forums on here that you could start a tread under. Plus you'll get a lot more responses having your own thread. Some ladies (including myself) have been through multiple losses or experienced loss and/or trouble just ttc so it's just not the ideal thread to discuss termination of a pregnancy. Please dont take that the wrong way, this site offers support for all, maybe just look for advice in a more appropriate thread [emoji173]

[Kelbear]

Need guidance and need to vent during this difficult time. Anyone been in this predicament?
To my surprise I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number # 3. It’s a total surprise since we had to get pregnant with baby # 2 with the help of fertility doctors.
We have 2 amazing boys age 2 and 5 and my husband is not handling this news well at all. I’m honestly not thrilled either since we have our hands already full and can’t imagine having 3 kids. Financially it’s doable but physically it’s not since our 2 boys weren’t easy as infants and the 5 year old is still challenging. I’m 38 and my husband is 40 and our age isn’t working in our favor either. My husband told me he made a list of pros and cons and he can’t find any pros to having a third child.
My logical side tells me the same things but part of me wants to see if this is a girl. I tols him I want to wait to find out gender at 10/11 weeks and he sees no point in it. He keeps saying he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl or Albert Einstein. He says I should terminate this pregnancy for the sake and well being of our current family. I’m so hurt and conflicted. My logical part says he is correct but my emotional side says I should wait to find out sex but I’m worried waiting that long will make it more difficult. I’m worried if I end it now I will have resentment towards my husband and if for some reason we keep this pregnancy my husband will have resentment towards me.
Any insight is really appreciated it.

Thanks


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Oh healthygirl i wish I could help you as I feel like you just wrote my story that I was about to post and ask for advice. I have been loosely doing LE PCOS diet waiting to convince DH to try for #3 as he is currently adamant that we can't afford a third baby and he is happy with our two (some days he feels like they are too much as our 2 1/2 yr old is perfecting his tantrums and ways to hurt his 9 month old brother) but I have been on the pill and had gastro with my boys about 3-4 weeks ago and didn't think anything of it as we rarely get time to ourselves anymore with DH working and the boys still not great at sleeping. It wasn't til last Friday that I started to feel nauseous and had pains under my armpits which was the first thing I noticed with both of my pregnancies and low and behold did a test and bfp. I had bloods done today as I have had spotting and cramping so not sure I will get the chance to keep this baby even if I want but can't bring myself to tell DH yet as terrified of his response as am sure he will say exactly what your DH has said and will want to terminate. Like you I want to know if this is my longed for little girl (I want to keep this baby regardless of gender though ) and I know I will resent my DH if I don't get the chance to find out and to keep Bub but I also fear he will resent me if we keep this baby and that might destroy our current family and I don't want that for the boys. I wish I could offer you advice but really can't except send you lots of hugs and hope you can work out what is best for you and your family.

[Throwaway_panther]

Need guidance and need to vent during this difficult time. Anyone been in this predicament?
To my surprise I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number # 3. It’s a total surprise since we had to get pregnant with baby # 2 with the help of fertility doctors.
We have 2 amazing boys age 2 and 5 and my husband is not handling this news well at all. I’m honestly not thrilled either since we have our hands already full and can’t imagine having 3 kids. Financially it’s doable but physically it’s not since our 2 boys weren’t easy as infants and the 5 year old is still challenging. I’m 38 and my husband is 40 and our age isn’t working in our favor either. My husband told me he made a list of pros and cons and he can’t find any pros to having a third child.
My logical side tells me the same things but part of me wants to see if this is a girl. I tols him I want to wait to find out gender at 10/11 weeks and he sees no point in it. He keeps saying he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl or Albert Einstein. He says I should terminate this pregnancy for the sake and well being of our current family. I’m so hurt and conflicted. My logical part says he is correct but my emotional side says I should wait to find out sex but I’m worried waiting that long will make it more difficult. I’m worried if I end it now I will have resentment towards my husband and if for some reason we keep this pregnancy my husband will have resentment towards me.
Any insight is really appreciated it.

Thanks


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So I'm not trying to be offensive, but this is definitely the wrong place to post this -- these are women trying to GET pregnant!! Maybe try posting in the Pregnancy section, or the gender disappointment ones?

I will say though, I am so sorry you're going through this. I am very pro-choice, but one of my fundamental elements of my pro-choice nature is detesting anyone pressuring a woman to terminate or keep a baby -- and I am SO sorry your husband is doing that to you.

I'd definitely love to offer more advice and to hear you vent once this is posted in a proper place <3 I think talking about termination in a TTC thread could be very triggering for many.

[Noemi2017]

Hello HealthyGirl, i already answered you in your thread so i wont write it again. Pls think about it, this is your life test and i pray you pass... i agree with girls here, we all want to conceive a baby...

[hannahptrussell]

Need guidance and need to vent during this difficult time. Anyone been in this predicament?
To my surprise I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number # 3. It’s a total surprise since we had to get pregnant with baby # 2 with the help of fertility doctors.
We have 2 amazing boys age 2 and 5 and my husband is not handling this news well at all. I’m honestly not thrilled either since we have our hands already full and can’t imagine having 3 kids. Financially it’s doable but physically it’s not since our 2 boys weren’t easy as infants and the 5 year old is still challenging. I’m 38 and my husband is 40 and our age isn’t working in our favor either. My husband told me he made a list of pros and cons and he can’t find any pros to having a third child.
My logical side tells me the same things but part of me wants to see if this is a girl. I tols him I want to wait to find out gender at 10/11 weeks and he sees no point in it. He keeps saying he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl or Albert Einstein. He says I should terminate this pregnancy for the sake and well being of our current family. I’m so hurt and conflicted. My logical part says he is correct but my emotional side says I should wait to find out sex but I’m worried waiting that long will make it more difficult. I’m worried if I end it now I will have resentment towards my husband and if for some reason we keep this pregnancy my husband will have resentment towards me.
Any insight is really appreciated it.

Thanks


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And I’m over here on my knees each day praying that the Lord allow me to hold this current pregnancy to completion. And this would be #5 for us. Like others have said, maybe not the best place to post.
I absolutely hate that we live in a world where we can decide to discard life because it seems inconvenient. I pray that you and your husband can embrace this new life.




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[Throwaway_panther]

And I’m over here on my knees each day praying that the Lord allow me to hold this current pregnancy to completion. And this would be #5 for us. Like others have said, maybe not the best place to post.
I absolutely hate that we live in a world where we can decide to discard life because it seems inconvenient. I pray that you and your husband can embrace this new life.




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I don't think that's fair, either. But I will drop the subject until she posts in the appropriate place.

[ABC.2606]

Ok I already feel discouraged about this cycle. Woke up this morning, no temp rise, so now we're looking at possibly an O-2 attempt if I ovulate today. I know an O-2 would still be a good chance but what I don't get is WHY does it take my body so flippin' long to O after +OPK, even with Clomid?? Especially as those two dominant follicles of mine have to be SO HUGE by now!! They were 17 mm and 20 mm on Friday morning and it's now Tuesday morning! If they grow 1-3 mm per day they could be, what, over 30 mm by now? Ugh. Frustrating. I really worry too they are going to get "over ripe" as well.

I told DH this morning if it doesn't happen this month we're getting a trigger shot next cycle. I hate this waiting so long to O after +OPK/attempt thing... Stresses me out more than the TWW! Anyone have experience with the trigger shot? The nurse brought it up the other day so I'm pretty sure they'll give it to me next cycle if I want it.