Atomic please help with 2 loss

[jenn1112]

I know in the IVF world, women wanting girls have their husbands take Olive Leaf Extract for hopefully more girls. But I have seen a LOT of women expecting all of one gender get a split though, and even MORE of the gender they want! I know I got a 50/50 split in two cycles. Our healthy embryos were WAAAY in a different ratio, but that was a result of my husband's sperm issues... (so definitely look into getting that tested before cycling!!)

Just to add some other things -- in regards to your angel DD, if you never tested the fetal tissue, it's still possible she passed of a chromosomal abnormality. NIPT only test for a few I was disappointed to learn myself. And there are many chromosomal abnormalities that can occasionally make it into the second trimester (Trisomy 8, for example, can occasionally make it into the second trimester, although that affects predominantly males -- we had TWO of these embryos in cycling which we were told was uncommon, and that it's possible we had some of these losses). I only mention this to stress: as AWFUL as it is to say, a chromosomal loss in the second trimester is, as atomic said, a fluke. Mutations and abnormalities are still the most common explanation for losses. And different things to help egg and sperm quality can help affect this for the future (my husband and I can attest for this clearly!). Second trimester losses can often be more difficult things to deal with -- cord issues, placental issues, clotting, immune responses, etc. Not having these but instead be dealing with a chromosomal issue that slipped by could warrant success in the future, even though it's scary to plan future pregnancies! And IVF with PGS would definitely help mitigate this.

I'm thinking of you and hoping you recover as quickly as possible from your upcoming procedure <3

Thank you so much! This is so helpful, I’d love as much info on it as possible! I will start having my hubby take OLE...do you have any idea on how much to take?
I am concerned my DD might have also been a rare chromosomal also, that’s what the OB thinks I believe. I’m not so worried we would go through all this expense and not get healthy embryos or only boys. Maybe I could ask the dr for more meds to make more eggs?
Can you tell me about your experience? How many eggs did you get from retrieval? How many healthy embryos and the gender?
Also, do you know if the LE diet or exercise helps with IVF at all or it’s just Random genders?
Thank you



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[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you, we could only afford one round. Does exercise or Le diet help with more female embryos? Or will nothing help sway with IVF?


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While it's fine to take the OLE if you'd like, personally I think it does nothing, and people simply take it till they luck their way into a cycle where they by chance happen to get more XX than XY. Then everyone declares "well it took 2-3-4-10 cycles to work, but it did eventually get me more XX!" but until there is a blind side by side study done we'll never know if it does or not and since I've seen people take it 1 month and get more XX and people take it 6 months before finally getting XX and yet everyone still says "oh yes this totally works" I am not buying it.

You CANNOT sway with IVF. Everything about swaying pink is meant to lower fertility. But with IVF you need to max your fertility as much as possible. They can't coexist and you need to be on a diet that is more beneficial to fertility such as a South Beach or Protein Power Plan kind of diet where you're eating a good deal of healthy protein, good carbs, and healtty fat. Don't do Atkins or keto unless your doctor recommends it, you want a diet that's about 30% carbs, 30% fat, 40% protein.

[atomic sagebrush]

Re rare chromosomal abnormalities, many times OB's will tell people that as a way to assure them it's not their fault. But the OB doesn't know why you had a loss, it's all just guessing, and I feel like you are putting so much emphasis on both losses being chromosomal when we actually do not have any way to know that. I don't want you to pick a plan of action based on something a doctor said out of turn trying to be reassuring to you. The chances are very high these were two totally unrelated losses, just terrible terrible luck, and that they won't happen again. This doesn't mean you are immune to losses, of course - while lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place it is certainly possible to have been struck by lightning and get hit by a bus 10 years later as well - just that I don't want you to assume anything based on things we cannot ever really know.

You can't ask the doc for more meds to make more eggs. If that was a thing, they'd already do that for everyone. More meds can equal poor quality eggs that can't be fertilized or will arrest very early on in development.

You have to go in understanding that you CAN go through all this expense and have no healthy girl embryos. it's definitely possible. I hesitate for anyone who can only do one cycle to go IVF - while it is possible to be a one hit wonder, it happens all the time, you just have to go in with your eyes wide open and know that it's possible to have to walk away from the table with no money and no baby.

I think I forgot to mention exercise...while moderate exercise is beneficial for IVF success you need to take care not to go to the extremes of gender swaying exercise or to have your BMI drop below 21.

[jenn1112]

Re rare chromosomal abnormalities, many times OB's will tell people that as a way to assure them it's not their fault. But the OB doesn't know why you had a loss, it's all just guessing, and I feel like you are putting so much emphasis on both losses being chromosomal when we actually do not have any way to know that. I don't want you to pick a plan of action based on something a doctor said out of turn trying to be reassuring to you. The chances are very high these were two totally unrelated losses, just terrible terrible luck, and that they won't happen again. This doesn't mean you are immune to losses, of course - while lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place it is certainly possible to have been struck by lightning and get hit by a bus 10 years later as well - just that I don't want you to assume anything based on things we cannot ever really know.

You can't ask the doc for more meds to make more eggs. If that was a thing, they'd already do that for everyone. More meds can equal poor quality eggs that can't be fertilized or will arrest very early on in development.

You have to go in understanding that you CAN go through all this expense and have no healthy girl embryos. it's definitely possible. I hesitate for anyone who can only do one cycle to go IVF - while it is possible to be a one hit wonder, it happens all the time, you just have to go in with your eyes wide open and know that it's possible to have to walk away from the table with no money and no baby.

I think I forgot to mention exercise...while moderate exercise is beneficial for IVF success you need to take care not to go to the extremes of gender swaying exercise or to have your BMI drop below 21.

Thank you so much, this is great info. So do you think my odds are better if a healthy girl swaying or doing the ivf? Or I’m sure you’ll say that you just can’t predict that outcome. Just wondering if you’ve Had a feeling one way or the other. I think we are both pretty fertile and Just had crappy luck. I’m just terrified of having another chromosomal issue or something wrong with another baby that will affect my family forever.

[Georgia_Peach]

Sorry to jump in here but I feel I have to.
The process of IVF is long. There are months of testing on both you and your partner. The questions your asking can really only be answered by these tests and even then not 100% (Eg your AMH number , your age and hobbies sperm analysis). You will never know how many eggs you'll get nor how many will make it to day 5 and then that are left healthy female until you try.
As for chromosomal issues... you cannot ever rule that out without the PGS testing.
Swaying is a great option.. but you will never know baby is chromosomal perfect until the harmony test or what have you during pregnancy.
We've done both options successfully. I had my daughter through swaying and lost another daughter at 20 weeks after successfully swaying. It's consumed the last 2 years of my.life.
After that we did IVF. Had a very successful round and got lucky. 21 eggs fertalized, 11 frozen. Only 1 boy embryo the 6 rest female. I am now pregnant with my daughter. BUT I do have a high AMH, no other issues and hubby sperm is perfect. This makes a difference but There a no guarantee on genders at all.

it was obviously a huge gamble for us and wasn't easy mental, physically or financially on us. It is a lot. It's a long road.

You and your partner need to both be on board and be completely ready and serious that is the right decision for your family.

Best of luck no matter what you decide. [emoji4]


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[jenn1112]

Sorry to jump in here but I feel I have to.
The process of IVF is long. There are months of testing on both you and your partner. The questions your asking can really only be answered by these tests and even then not 100% (Eg your AMH number , your age and hobbies sperm analysis). You will never know how many eggs you'll get nor how many will make it to day 5 and then that are left healthy female until you try.
As for chromosomal issues... you cannot ever rule that out without the PGS testing.
Swaying is a great option.. but you will never know baby is chromosomal perfect until the harmony test or what have you during pregnancy.
We've done both options successfully. I had my daughter through swaying and lost another daughter at 20 weeks after successfully swaying. It's consumed the last 2 years of my.life.
After that we did IVF. Had a very successful round and got lucky. 21 eggs fertalized, 11 frozen. Only 1 boy embryo the 6 rest female. I am now pregnant with my daughter. BUT I do have a high AMH, no other issues and hubby sperm is perfect. This makes a difference but There a no guarantee on genders at all.

it was obviously a huge gamble for us and wasn't easy mental, physically or financially on us. It is a lot. It's a long road.

You and your partner need to both be on board and be completely ready and serious that is the right decision for your family.

Best of luck no matter what you decide. [emoji4]


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Thank you so much mamabird, this is so helpful. I’m definitely not taking this lightly and will have a better idea if we are going to go through with this after meeting with the RE. I know he already tested my eggs but I have no idea if that is my AMH? He just said my eggs were a 3 and he likes anything over a 2.
How long did the ivf process take from start to finish...your first Meeting with the dr to getting pregnant?

Did your hubby take Olive leaf extract? You were lucky in getting that many females! Were they all healthy? What was your diet like leading up to ivf?


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[Georgia_Peach]

I changed my diet and supplements 3 months prior to starting the retrieval. I recommend reading the book "it starts with the egg" to start.
My husband dis not take anything except a multi vitamin. The actual.process is like one month of testing and monitoring and then months on birth control (in some clinics) and then the meds to do retrieval. Then you need to wait a cycle to do pgs and get results then do the FET. It's about 3 to 5 months quickest I'd say. I had 11 frozen embryos frozen on day 5 from 21 fertilized. Only 8 were considered "normal". 6 females 1 male. We transferred 2 females and am now 24 weeks pregnant with one. Again.. We got lucky as most 1st FET don't take even if you have optimal situations.

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[jenn1112]

I changed my diet and supplements 3 months prior to starting the retrieval. I recommend reading the book "it starts with the egg" to start.
My husband dis not take anything except a multi vitamin. The actual.process is like one month of testing and monitoring and then months on birth control (in some clinics) and then the meds to do retrieval. Then you need to wait a cycle to do pgs and get results then do the FET. It's about 3 to 5 months quickest I'd say. I had 11 frozen embryos frozen on day 5 from 21 fertilized. Only 8 were considered "normal". 6 females 1 male. We transferred 2 females and am now 24 weeks pregnant with one. Again.. We got lucky as most 1st FET don't take even if you have optimal situations.

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Thank you, I’ll definitely check out the book. Do you mind me asking how old you and your hubby are? I’ll be 36 in 4 months so that worries me since my eggs are older. Also, I forgot to ask did both of y’all cut out alcohol or processed foods before ivf


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[Georgia_Peach]

We are 33 and yes no alcohol at all.

Thank you, I’ll definitely check out the book. Do you mind me asking how old you and your hubby are? I’ll be 36 in 4 months so that worries me since my eggs are older. Also, I forgot to ask did both of y’all cut out alcohol or processed foods before ivf


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[jenn1112]

We are 33 and yes no alcohol at all.

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Thank you. I read about something called ICSI (where Sperm is chosen and Injected into egg) and it favors more girls vs normal ivf favors more boys conceived.
Do you know which one y’all did?


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