Did I blow it? Lost, preg, regained, miscarried, what do I do now?

[NatashaNatasha]

Please help! Time sensitive*

Dear Atomic,



If you don't have time to answer, I understand. But I have had a hard time finding your answer to my predicament in the older posts. I think it's a unique situation and people (me especially) would benefit from reading your response and expertise.



My problem is that I have just turned 33 years old and my 41 year old husband and I want to TTC a girl (we only want two kids). I started losing weight on a 1700 cal diet and 5-6 hours of exercise per week.


In March I was 122 pounds and then I went down to 111lbs in June. I am 5 feet, 7 inches so I was underweight when I tried my attempt on June 9th (I never got a positive OPK that cycle at that time, but the tests have since registered LH hormone...but were not registering at the time).


Right after our 1 attempt in June, I flew to Canada to visit my family for two weeks and I pigged out on all the stuff I was missing (I live in Italy). I honestly could feel something happening and I felt my period coming on a week early and it never came. I could feel my period coming when it was due and it never came! I have never been late in my life, so this was incredible. I never got a positive pregnancy test, but I never had a period for 18 days!!! I was convinced I was pregnant and I booked a gyno appointment and scan, convinced I was having a baby and that the hormones were just undetectable (I took over 7 pregnancy tests and got BFN). I skipped a period for June thinking "this is it".



I really believed I was pregnant because I got the white discharge on my period days and it was crumbly textured. I never have experienced anything like that in my life and I also had "fluffy" boobs (in retrospect it might have been my body rebounding and just normal weight gain).


A few days ago, I started spotting...that turned into heavy bleeding and now I believe it's a full blown period (due to acne I am now experiencing).


So I have to start from square one and I am so dejected.


I am SO MAD I BLEW THE DIET! After 3 months on the diet, I went crazy from June 10th to July 14th. I am now BACK at my pre-pregnancy weight (122 pounds). I am afraid that I rebounded too quickly and that reset my body and made it feel like it was good times again and I am now in gaining maternal condition.


Looking back I am wondering whether I just messed up my cycles or whether I really was pregnant! I definitely ate enough to sustain the pregnancy as you can tell from my ten pound rebound!


What do I do? My family is coming to visit in August and then I go back to Canada in a month. This means that there is so much diet sabotaging and family pressure to eat and there will be lots of parties and gatherings. I will be back with my husband in late September and we might not be able to try until October for the fertile window!

Options:
A) Start exercising like crazy and do dieting until I get a positive OPK and then attempt in less than 12 days?
B) Re-start the diet and then wait until August?
C) Re-start the diet and lose less weight because my period might have been delayed and I was never pregnant to begin with and try in October?


I am so incredibly sad about all of this and I feel so stupid I lost so much weight just to sabotage myself and probably swayed Blue now. Please help!

I should say that we are both 90% vegetarian, hubby is older (41) and he's skinny and rides a bike 45min a day. I am just afraid I gained everything back in a month and shopped exercising completely.

Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

answered in your other thread https://genderdreaming.com/forum/new...tml#post989886