Any July/August/Sept 2014 Swayers?

[Junie]

That sounds like a great sway hotdogz!

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[Kelissi]

And now, my loves, I am in - because DH has said yes.

Joy doesn't describe it. Shock does. Feeling like I am very cautiously dipping my toes into the water after not swimming for years.

We're still heading to counseling, but counseling is now focused on how to make our marriage work and have us both get what we want - me, to have at least three children, being a homeschooler and homemaker and choosing academics and art when they're older - and for DH, knowing that I'm not going to be falling into extreme depressions that border on my being catatonic, that this is going to be held together and good, and that he's going to be able to have the time alone he needs as an introvert.

I don't know what to say, really. I don't have butterflies in my stomach, but I am feeling relief washing over me in a way that hasn't happened for a long, long time. Went for a walk today with my kids and was overwhelmed by the beauty of it.

So, hi, TTC August/September 2014 - I'm officially here to stay.

[SamS_TTCPink]

Yay Kelissi! That's excellent news, so happy for you that DH had come around and realised how important this is to you. 💜

[Junie]

Yay Kelissi!!

I'm so so excited for you!!!!! Still have to have the "big" talk with DH but I'm hoping for the same outcome.

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[kaseybaby]

Yay Kelissi!

Do any of you have 2 under 2? My first two are 3.5 years apart. God willing, my next will be under two years apart from my DD. How crazy is it? If I were younger, and didn't have fertility issues I would wait for a larger age difference, but it just isn't an option. Am I in for it?

[Kelissi]

Kaseybaby - my first were 26 months apart (if you adjust for my older's prematurity, which we still did at that point), so not quite 2-under-2, but pretty close. I know lots of Mommas whose babes are that close in my work as a LLL Leader, and have taught many how to wear one baby on their front and one on their back - so, no, you're not in for it! Can it be tough? Sure. Show me any mom, regardless of the age gap between her kids, who says that it isn't tough from time to time, and I'll show you someone who isn't being honest with you or herself . Lots of babywearing helps - I can't wait to get out my wraps and slings again! - and breastfeeding, if that's your plan, can actually help a ton as you can set up a little nursing station with special books and one-handed toys that you play with the older little one with while you feed the baby. The lovin' and snuggles that a baby and an under 2 year old need are so similar that your brain can gear into them really well and meet needs, and, honestly, it was way easier when they were both really little than now at 5 and 3, when they're both fairly little. Don't worry, Momma. You got this .

Right now I'm actually concerned with age gaps too, since I'll be being in "baby mode" simultaneously with "big kid" mode, as DS1 will be 6 - soon to be 7 - and DS2 will be 4 when (hopefully) we have a baby. So long to long snuggly naps with the baby, I'm assuming! I'm really, really, REALLY hoping to have a vaginal birth rather than cesarean this time, just so that I don't have to be recovering from surgery again while facing all of this (although we all know that vaginal birth needs some serious recovery time, too!). I also need to get my act together as a parent - DS1 is just so freaking difficult sometimes, and so rather than thinking, "Great, I'll have a helper!" I wind up thinking, "Great, he's going to be stealing things from his younger brother and whining and starting fights while I'm shrieking, 'I'M TRYING TO HAVE A PEACEFUL BABYMOON IN HERE! STOP FIGHTING!'"

[kaseybaby]

I actually do wear my babies, but never both at once, I guess I should get used to that Have you had 2 c-sections or 1? I have had two. I went for natural birth with DS, ended up almost dying from infection, went for a vbac, and failed, wound up with c-section number 2. I would like to try for VBAC2C but everyone is against it. EVERYONE. I just so badly would like a vaginal birth

[Junie]

My first 2 are 2 years 5 months apart and I really enjoy that spacing. I won't lie, I do think having 2 under 2 can be more intense for the first few months just because both children still really need your help often but lots and lots of women consider it their ideal spacing and all spacing has pluses and minuses anyway

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[Junie]

DH and I talked about baby 3 last night. For him it comes down to the issue of him not loving kids/parenting all the time. I mean obviously he loves our kids and he is a great dad but he would have no issue if he only had to parent every 2nd day especially until they hit about 3.5. I know what he means but I think adding a third won't increase the amount of time he spends with the kids. The third will just be added to the mix. We both find parenting 2 easier then parenting one so that is in my favor. We didn't come to any real agreement but he also seemed open to thinking about it. I know he won't ever be the type of person who dreams about having more kids but he is a really good dad and I genuinely believe a third would be a good addition for our family. So far before we decided to TTC each child our conversations started like this so I feel like I am in a good place. We'll see how things progress. Sorry for the novel, I can't talk about this with anyone here.

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[hotdogz&boyz]

Congrats on your plan to conceive Kelissi. I don't know the backstory...but I assume its a big step and I can sense you are very excited!

Hopefully you can work it out with DH Junie. I do think that men have a harder time picturing what it will be like each time and when you add a measure of being overwhelmed, it can be hard for them to imagine adding another into the mix. DH and I have discussed five. More like a "if I want five, will you fight me on it." We have not done it seriously, but I kinda wanted to know if I need to prep for this as my last pregnancy. And he went from NO WAY to now "leaning to four, but we will discuss later if you don't feel done." Sometimes men might just need time and space to adjust. So hopefully it works out for you

As for having kids close in age, all of our gaps are or are planned to be less than 2 years. My 1st and 2nd are 22 months apart. My 2nd and 3rd are 19 months apart. And we plan for our 3rd and 4th to be 21-22 months apart again. I enjoy the smaller gaps. I don't really find it to be that hard. It doesn't allow for a lot of downtime physically, since everyone is so dependent. But the play structure works well (we are still on the preschool playgrounds and haven't hit sports age with anyone yet) and they seem to enjoy each others company. It requires patience, of course. But I think that is true of any age gap. It is a very condensed version of parenting! Lol. I, personally, think the bigger gaps would be harder for me, since I can concentrate on one set of skills (mostly just play and early learning), versus having to split time for school events and parties and activities for older kids while carting around younger kids as well. But I do think I always knew that about myself. I was meant to have close in age kids! You will be fine. We babywear and our gear all gets good use! Lol. We have had only one infant seat. One high chair, one swing, etc. They just never get taken down You'll do fine!