September Chit chat!!

[DoulaMama]

Oh, only because I've never had one of those 'fun' ultrasounds (though I had an ultrasound every week during my twin pregnancy) and because I could find out the gender a few weeks early. It's a loooong way away, though, and I'll probably just end up waiting until the regular 20 week u/s and hope they get a good shot. I just want to know what my options are.

Ah Gotcha! Did you find out easily with the twins..is it harder to get a gender shot with 2 crammed in there? LOL

[Mochagirl]

Believe it or not, we didn't find out the gender with my twins. I wanted to, but DH wouldn't hear of it. It was REALLY hard not to find out with all the scans we had to have - we had to tell the tech every week not to tell us. I was CONVINCED I was having girl twins - I even bought lots of girly outfits (which I still have). We had our two girl names all picked out but had never agreed on boy names...then BAM all of a sudden we had two boys. One of the reasons I found out the gender with ds3 and probably will again with this one is that I will always feel guilty that when the doctor said 'It's a boy!' when the first twin was born my first thought was of disappointment. Of course I loved them to bits immediately, but it was that initial moment that makes me feel guilty.

[begonia]

I think you make a great point Begonia, that we can get different things from our relationships with each of our children no matter what the sex. I'm going to take a leaf out of your book and focus not on whether my children are boys or girls but on the fabulous qualities they have individually and together. That's so very sad about your friend's son, perspective is easy to come by when you see others experience such tragedy.

It is, isn't it? I adore her so much and I hate that she's having to go through it. She lost her father when we were kids and has said that the pain from that PALES in comparison.

But yes, it sounds like lots of you boy moms have sons who don't fit the traditional mold, and my girls sure don't ... and I LOVE it! So it will be really funny for us if this little girl ends up being the disney princess type that so many of my friends seem to have. That will definitely bring something different to our family!

[begonia]

Thank you again I am so sorry to hear about your BF's little boy. OMG I cannot even begin to think about the possibility that I will outlive any of my children

After reading the bolded portion of your post, it really gave me something to think about. Thank you I will not love my child any less, we will all be thankful that we have that little person in our lives no matter what we have, I will feel the disappointment for awhile, no doubt, but it will go away and I know I'm going to stop focusing on the "what-if"(what if I have one more) after this baby is here as we will not have anymore kids. I almost think there will be some closure for me. For 4 years now I have hoped for a daughter...4 years of thinking, obsessing, trying for another, trying to convince my hubby for another....I will be so happy to not have to think about that anymore. I can focus on enjoying what I have it's sad to think that GD can do this to a person.... I'm going to find out and put this stress and obsessing to rest. I'll let you guys know, when I find out but no one else will know. I'm really good at keeping secrets Thank you for taking the time to write that out, B I needed to read that. xoxoxo

Z- I never thought I'd be in a place like this on the net.....pining away for a daughter. I was raised mainly by my mom, with a sister....had lots of girlfriends....I stupidly assumed I would have a couple girls. And, like B said above.....I would feel bad right now if I had 3 girls and I was hoping that DH could have a son. Ugh. GD is such a mess.

Oh DM that's really just exactly how I felt re: finding out, I needed to put the hope to rest. I've always wanted a son. And with each pregnancy that hope was always there, and in between them it was nice to know that "maybe next time" it would happen ... but this pregnancy I knew there wouldn't be a next time, and I was really ready to be done with hoping and know my final results. And while yes, I wanted a son, I'm very much at peace knowing now that I will not have one. I'll have three healthy girls It was really precious getting to see her today and I can't wait to meet her and fall in love with what matters, who she is!

I think how we're raised definitely plays a part in our hopes for the gender of our children. My dad was not part of my life and my mom, well, she really, really screwed a whole lot up. We were not close. So I didn't want a daughter. But of course as an adult you realize it isn't the gender that makes the relationship, like Zan said too. It's the RELATIONSHIP that makes the relationship, LOL! And I plan on building strong ones with my girls. And ideally, a strong one between the 3 of them. I would love nothing more than to see them as adults have a really strong bond, and be each other's best friends.

FWIW (I think I'm the only girl mom here but Flava's chiming in now) my DH is VERY close with his mother. They've always been close. It definitely played a part in me wanting a son, seeing their bond. And as her daughter-in-law I couldn't adore her more

Oh MAN I hope I get some good sons-in-law, LOL!

Anyhow, y'all have all really helped me work through this today and I so appreciate it! It's a heavy topic and not nearly as fun as chatting about pudding! I clearly have lots of pink dust to spread around so please, take it ... I hope you all get your girls!! Can't wait for all the ultrasounds now

[begonia]

Believe it or not, we didn't find out the gender with my twins. I wanted to, but DH wouldn't hear of it. It was REALLY hard not to find out with all the scans we had to have - we had to tell the tech every week not to tell us. I was CONVINCED I was having girl twins - I even bought lots of girly outfits (which I still have). We had our two girl names all picked out but had never agreed on boy names...then BAM all of a sudden we had two boys. One of the reasons I found out the gender with ds3 and probably will again with this one is that I will always feel guilty that when the doctor said 'It's a boy!' when the first twin was born my first thought was of disappointment. Of course I loved them to bits immediately, but it was that initial moment that makes me feel guilty.

WOW! So you didn't know with the twins, I bet that was hard suddenly having to pick out 2 names when you hadn't planned on it!

I also didn't want even a hint of disappointment on the birthday; I think like you Mocha it would have passed quickly but it would have been there for sure. I'm worried DH might have a minute or two, I hate knowing he'll likely get some comments from his friends like "sorry you didn't get a boy" ... but ... he wants a surprise, and I'm sure he'll deal with it and move on and be just fine. I'm not at all concerned that he'll have any real disappointment or regret for having girl #3.

[begonia]

Ok ... round 1 of lowering DH's expectations complete, LOL! And as you'll see he really was already pretty low... in a good way given what I know now. He's still at work (going to have to pay for 3 colleges plus weddings, now ) so we were just talking on the phone.
Me: "Ok so I had a dream last night that we had a girl. And she was born, and we had no name. At all. We called her Three."

Him: "I've been telling you for 4 months now it's going to be a girl; we don't make boys. So yes, we should probably pick a name."

Me: "I know. I just kept thinking, since I've had 2 boy dreams (that is true by the way) that we could maybe bypass it this time. But it definitely could be another girl and I guess I need to get ready for that."

Him: "It is what it is, and whoever it is God chose for us, and it's going to be amazing to have it in our arms next year. But you can't rely on Him to pick a name so yeah, you better start thinking about it. And seriously, just go buy something pink and expensive, you know you want to!"

He really is the best. It's a shame he won't have a son but I couldn't ask for a better man to raise my daughters. And yes, I am crying

[princesssarah34]

Ok ... round 1 of lowering DH's expectations complete, LOL! And as you'll see he really was already pretty low... in a good way given what I know now. He's still at work (going to have to pay for 3 colleges plus weddings, now ) so we were just talking on the phone.
Me: "Ok so I had a dream last night that we had a girl. And she was born, and we had no name. At all. We called her Three."

Him: "I've been telling you for 4 months now it's going to be a girl; we don't make boys. So yes, we should probably pick a name."

Me: "I know. I just kept thinking, since I've had 2 boy dreams (that is true by the way) that we could maybe bypass it this time. But it definitely could be another girl and I guess I need to get ready for that."

Him: "It is what it is, and whoever it is God chose for us, and it's going to be amazing to have it in our arms next year. But you can't rely on Him to pick a name so yeah, you better start thinking about it. And seriously, just go buy something pink and expensive, you know you want to!"

He really is the best. It's a shame he won't have a son but I couldn't ask for a better man to raise my daughters. And yes, I am crying

OMG now I am crying......that was so sweet!! And he is great!

Ok ladies....I am back from my 1st appt. and well since my Dr. that I have had forever has switched up how he does things...he takes all his medi-cal patients at the specialty clinic ow and they don't do the U/S there..(he said because they don't have a good enough machine there)..so I get to go back over Wed. to the special office for U/S to determine how far along I really am! He basicly said by the date you gave me for last period you should be 7 almost 8 weeks....but by feel you feel more like 10 weeks.....WHAT??? and by my symptoms he said usually you don't have those ones until about 10 weeks when you are pg..(he was refering to my past pg symptoms)..so he was going by feel and my past experiance with stuff and said 10 weeks! So Wed. we will find out for sure! Funny thing is I instanly thought twins when he said you feel way bigger than 7 weeks! So I still have to wait to see how many and the heart beat!!

[princesssarah34]

Welcome Flava!!! Sorry if you got lost in this thread......I get lost here too! Please stay and chat with us! I was very happy to read your spotting stopped! And you are only a size 8.......ugh I haven't been an 8 well never....a long time ago I was a 5....now anywhere between 11-13! But I totally get how you feel esp. when you where a 0!

Good morning ladies!! I had the weirdest dream last night! For some reason I was a human with two tiger cubs laying next to me! And when a Mama Tiger came over and started sniffing me I said "here taken them their not mine...I don't know how they got here!" Than I got up and ran...but the little cubs ran after me! Then I woke up...actually DS#3 woke me up wanting to get in my bed!

[Mochagirl]

Oh my goodness, did I forget to welcome you, Flava?? I'm glad you joined us here. Eventually we can try to get a June due date group set up, but so far I think it's just you and me!

[Flava]

Thanks !
princess-I really Im big i have a big tummy and some more rolls over that! Im even far on my back Im not kidding! I look normal when Im size 1. I guess my bones are just really light or something like that.

mocha- we better wait for more girls to make a June group lol would be funny if it's just you and me . You see we due on the same day? hehe...I really have no clue when I do because it's asking for cycle length and mine is always different.
And who know really when baby comes right?