Uk SMOG Wannabes ~ February

[chocolate]

Maybepink (((hugs))), we are all here for you and know how you feel....really praying you start to feel a little better soon.

Inglewood- thanks hon, I agree, not the name for my girl!

feeling better about this being a boy as yesterday my dh said 'you'll be the only princess in the house and we'll all have to look after you'. sweet.

chocolate- thanks for the link, managed to get one of the free scans!! I'll be 16 weeks so I might get a peek at gender eeekkkk!!!

charlie- hope you get the car, would be brilliant for you.

deaks- totally know what you mean about finding out you are pg, happy but then paranoid about the sway, totally mixed feelings, unlike my other two times. still brilliant news though and so exciting!!

Glad you got one! They do gender determination free at any scans after 16 weeks so good luck!

[chocolate]

Maybebabythree - sorry your work is causing you agro, roll on the last few days and hope your bp comes down!

Maybepink - hope you manage to feel better soon, I had an awful few days after hearing boy for the 2nd time and am certain this one is a boy again and keep having down moments by optimistic moments about it being another boy, trying to deal with with it before I have it confirmed! 3 of my friends are pregnant again, 2 already have girls and 1 has a boy but her scan pic looks very girly so I just know it will be me again with all boys and everyone feeling sorry for me.
Anyway, know where your coming from and hope that dark place buggers off soon xx

[deaks66]

Just a quick one as battery on phone going but wanted to send my love to maybepink xx I too am in a dark place right now and have had an awful few days. So I can totally understand how you are feeling right now, pm me if u need to chat. Time will help but getting through it all until that point is hard. Thinking of you xx

Oh i so hate that you are suffering so much. Wish i could give you a massive hug. Have yout told dh or are you managing to stay strong around him? X

[deaks66]

Im totally clutching at straws with gender already.... i hate this about swaying! Having general all over cramps but got some tiny sharp pains on my left side briefly last night....could baby be implanting on left... thats girly right?!

[Babymad]

Oh i so hate that you are suffering so much. Wish i could give you a massive hug. Have yout told dh or are you managing to stay strong around him? X

Thanks hunnie xx
i hate feeling like this, really do, I'm driving myself mad let alone anyone else!
DH does know now but I didn't tell him. He saw a message on FB to a hi-tech friend - popped up on the iPad and he read it. It was very detailed about how I was feeling and explained I had been for the scan etc. DH was furious and didn't speak to me for two days!! I was furious too that he had read my messages as they were very personal.
We are ok now and have chatted about it abit, but I still feel very lonely. I don't have anyone in the 'real world' who I can speak to about how I feel. Lots of friends know I would love a girl but no one knows how deep my longing is etc, apart from one friend but I don't see her as much now as her kids are both at school and she works more.
If people ask me if I know the gender I say I saw a willy at my 20 week scan so guessing boy, so at least no one will be shocked when he arrives......just dreading all the pity

I know I will love him and I knew that finding out before he was here would be very difficult for me thats why I wasn't keen on doing it. I just can't stop feeling so sad all the time and I am not excited at all....its like the pg is just an inconvenience - dreadful I know!! I know these feelings will ease as time goes on but right now they are hard to deal with everyday. I want the tears to stop and I want to be happy.........

Just off to collect boys...be back shortly...xxx

[charlieispy]

OH babymad - i know i cant type anything to stop the pain and the upset you are feeling, i so wish I could I really do. I read yours, maybepink and pingas posts and know exactly how you are feeling but that still doesnt make it any better for you. I hope you find comfort in knowing we are here, feeling alone is so hard especially in your own home, there are days when I feel alien to all the men in my life - they are really from another planet. Am sure I will be joining you all in being pregnant with a boy.....I still cant decide to find out or not I might get them to write it down then if i decide I have the choice.

I did find a 3d/4d scan really helped me with ds3 - after my 20wk scan I had so many negative thoughts, why did i bother having another, just wanted it over, just absolute despair this 'thing' was another one of them! I detached myself totally from my pregnancy to try and cope - but once I saw his little face and saw the ds1 excitement it really did help x I think i must have been about 30wks but i remember afterwards beginning to get excited about him and decorating the room etc, although everything was green!! NO BLUE this time I am thinking a red blanket etc NO BLUE. Anyway enough waffling about me - just a thought x

much love to you all struggling x wish i could make it stop x

deaks - FX all is ok try and relax although it is not easy to do x but do try x

chocolate - WOW for free scan awesome news!!!

WAVES to all x x

[Babymad]

OH babymad - i know i cant type anything to stop the pain and the upset you are feeling, i so wish I could I really do. I read yours, maybepink and pingas posts and know exactly how you are feeling but that still doesnt make it any better for you. I hope you find comfort in knowing we are here, feeling alone is so hard especially in your own home, there are days when I feel alien to all the men in my life - they are really from another planet. Am sure I will be joining you all in being pregnant with a boy.....I still cant decide to find out or not I might get them to write it down then if i decide I have the choice.

I did find a 3d/4d scan really helped me with ds3 - after my 20wk scan I had so many negative thoughts, why did i bother having another, just wanted it over, just absolute despair this 'thing' was another one of them! I detached myself totally from my pregnancy to try and cope - but once I saw his little face and saw the ds1 excitement it really did help x I think i must have been about 30wks but i remember afterwards beginning to get excited about him and decorating the room etc, although everything was green!! NO BLUE this time I am thinking a red blanket etc NO BLUE. Anyway enough waffling about me - just a thought x

much love to you all struggling x wish i could make it stop x

deaks - FX all is ok try and relax although it is not easy to do x but do try x

chocolate - WOW for free scan awesome news!!!

WAVES to all x x

Thanks Charlie xxx It is great to have you guys to vent too - I'm good at hiding how I feel at times so no one really suspects that I feeling low etc.....just say I'm not feeling great because of being pg etc.
DH knows I'm not good and I do feel quite distant from him at the moment, partly because I prefer to deal with things on my own and partly because I feel resentful - not thats his fault but again I can't help how I feel.
The sadness is so strong and hurts so much.....like most of us know.

I really didn't want to know (found out with DS2) and regretted it but I knew I had seen a willy at my 20 week scan and that drove me mad so I needed to know for sure after that. If you can get through your 20 week then I think its doable! I think its best to decide on the day then theres no pressure on anyone xx

I feel very much like you did - detached from the baby and the pregnancy and that was what I was fearing most by finding out as I have been there before too. We haven't discussed names, we hardly talk about the fact that we are having another baby!! I think DH is probably too scared to bring it up incase I flip! The boys love talking about the baby though so they remind us!!

I have booked a 4d scan for Sunday - got a deal so I could justify it. I thought it would be good for all of us to see the baby and for it to be a happy time, hoping the boys will enjoy seeing him.
Its DH's birthday today so its been a little better today.

I appreciate your kind words and support xx

I have good vibes that your little bean is a pink one - really hope its your princess hun xx

[Kell]

Babymad it's ok to feel how you do and I really hope the pain does lessen and that you can come to feel excited soon.
Nothing we can say will help but perhaps knowing your desire and the pain your experiencing can help you to sort your feelings here.
Hugs to you xx

Inglewood hope your scan went well!!

Lmw good luck at your scan Thursday!!

I've got my gender scan on Sunday afternoon, it's all quite scary, starting to feel less excited and more scared lol
Ds2 is not very well, I had a call from my childminder this afternoon asking if I could collect him as he's been quite sick sleepy. As soon as I picked him up for a cuddle he threw up in my hands lol
Poor little thing is so sad, best bit is all the cuddles silver lining I suppose.
I feel like a terrible mum tho, this morning he was so naughty not listening, running away and generally being 2.5years old I lost it and really shouted, now I don't know if he was just not feeling well, bad mummy!

[Babymad]

Im totally clutching at straws with gender already.... i hate this about swaying! Having general all over cramps but got some tiny sharp pains on my left side briefly last night....could baby be implanting on left... thats girly right?!

Its stressful isn't it! Try and enjoy the pg for awhile rather than obsessing over the gender as its took so long for you to get your little bean What did your DH say??
I was reflecting on my sway yesterday - why I don't know! And apart from a couple of things I really thought we had a good chance of pink. all my pains were on the left hand side which made me think...oh good girly signs!
I did the diet 100% for 6 months and stuck to the rules for another 2-3 months with the odd treat. But I never ate before 12pm for nearly 9 months and I never ate potatoes or banana's or anything boy friendly for the whole time we were swaying. I cut out cereal, diet coke, everything!!! All I ate was what was on the girl diet plan and I'm a veggie too!
Timing wasn't great but then they say thats not that important! And we did BD after Ov too.
My PH was always under 4.5 and mostly under 4.

So why why why didn't it bloody work!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry rant over!

I have seen swaying work for lots of people in all my years of trying to get my DG! So stay positive and I really hope its your turn to hear pink
xx

[Babymad]

Chocolate ~ Hugs that you've been feeling down too, when is your scan?

Maybe ~ I hope your BP isn't up tomorrow, I would get signed off from work too, Dave is defo the priority...not work!!

Charlie ~ Great news about the car!

Kell ~ GL with your scan

Indigo ~ How are you feeling now?

Sunset ~ Hope Serena is doing well x

Petal ~ Hope your little man is better soon x

Hope everyone else is doing ok x