Am I really selfish?

[Cinss]

Each pregnancy is different and unique. Don't tell yourself that history will repeat, it won't. I know it is very hard to pull yourself out of this emotional state, but life will get better, this will pass. When you have your darling baby i your arms all of this will feel like an eternity ago, and you will be in love with the beautiful little life that you and your husband created.

[begonia]

Hugs hun; I agree with so many others, you really aren't selfish in this situation at all. You've been through so much with your son, with IVF, and now with pregnancy hormones that it isn't surprising you're experiencing some intense emotions. Boy or girl (but FX girl!) I think that a year from now you'll be grateful you had another baby, especially when you see your children together ... it's a precious sight

[Waiting4Daisy]

I'm sure your ADHD will be a huge contributing factor in your yoyo-ing emotions. You are frightened and no wonder, you had a horrible birthing experience last time. Anyone would be scared to do it again under those circumstances. But everyone is right, each baby and birth is different. Try to get closure on your last traumatic birth and move on from there, you don't want it to destroy this new birth experience. Can you speak to your care provider and recommend a course of action this time? Maybe you will even be able to opt for an elective C-section (if you would prefer this) or ask to try a VBAC, whatever you prefer. This may not be much comfort but think about it, you and your precious son survived one of the worst birth experiences you can have. You are both amazingly strong people. As they say, it's always darkest before the dawn, I'm hoping and praying you have a perfect birth experience this time xxxx

[lisvna]

I spoke to my gyneacologist and I have to come to the hospital and then I get an c section. So I'm not scared for that anymore. I don't know what it exactly is.....today I'm totally fine if it's a boy. My emotions going up and down (I never experienced that!). I'm nuts hihihihi!

[nuthinbutpink]

I know you are an intelligent person and I know you have followed many cycles on here and elsewhere. So, I know you understood all the possible outcomes when you chose to put back both boys and girls. I think you have to go back to that moment where you wanted a baby, any baby, for your family. That certainly was not selfish at that moment.

I think that if this cycle has worked out and a healthy baby is the end result, there is no reason to think it can't work again. The endometriosis diagnosis was a joke. Ridiculous. You're not the first to have that mystery diagnosis blamed for a poor cycle by Savvas. He should have never let you put back 4 embryos at your age. He and you are lucky that your health isn't in jeopardy now because of that decision. Had he not allowed it, my guess is you would have only put back the 2 females and been able to let that unfold first before you went back for any males. Dr Savvas failed you. Not your DH.

It could be a boy or girl. It's anyone's guess. My best HB did not implant. Hopefully your best blasts didn't and you are carrying your DD now. Either way, you will be okay. You only have one child, you are very young and you have plenty of time ahead of you to go again if you have to. If worst case scenario is a brother for your DS, you will be okay. That is an awesome gift to give him and the furthest thing from selfish.

[Grandma-Ama]

My Dear lisvna; it is so true about 2nd babies, my first cried so much in the hospital that I called the nurse in (this was 1970) to take her back to the nursery! When we got home she cried and cried and I cried and cried!! But my 2nd daughter was an angel! I think God knew I needed a break!

Please do not despare ! Is there someone you could talk to; a councilor; clergy, etc? I am really worried about, sweetie. Like "angel in a pink sky" said you are NOT selfish at all! you did what you did for your husband and son, you love them so much and you will love this baby also! Your hormones are going wild right now, you will be feeling better real soon!! PLEASE!!!! Remember that! If you are a religious person trust in the Lord that He will give you the strength to indure this, ask for His help!

I have 6 grandsons and I wanted a granddaughter with all my heart....My daughter is having a boy she's 4mths pg! I saw him sucking his little thumb and my heart melted and yours will too when you see him or her. I have to admit I had a little crying spell in private for about 15 minutes today (her gender u/s scan was yesterday) but when I went to mass this evening and I ask God to forgive me for being "spoiled" because He has given me 6 healthly grandson's!

This will pass with you also...I will keep you in my prayers, Jesus will know who I'm praying for!

[wilma_five]

I don't come to this site ao often as I did as you know but I really want to react on this topic!

I want you to close your eyes a moment and go back to that moment when you putted the four of them back. Try to connect to the feelings again at that time. You will feel it again!

I know you will love everything that comes out. I suffered bad GD with my last 4 but I love them so much it's sometimes even hurts. I cannot live without them! You will love a little boy and you're heart will melt seeing your hubsband loving him to. If it's a boy you did not fail! Truly not! It's not A boy but YOUR boy! Made from you and your loving DH. Please don't drive him away, he sounds great!!!!

There is a still a really good chance this is a little girl. Why not! Why shouldn't it be your turn?
I think the ADHD, hormones, post traumatic stress and not being sure abnout the outcome is messing with your head. I sure would mess with my head. You're a human not a robot, give yourself a break!

FX for a girl in there and if not then you will have a BBG family! That would be great to!

[Indira]

Hugs lisvna

I agree with NBP about not blaiming your husband but blaiming your dr. You were in a very vulnerable moment, your dr. should have been the one to remind you you went there for GS in the first place.

My DS2 is the opposite of Ds1, and between 6 months and 3 years he has been the most adorable child, everything I expected a girl to be. Affectionate, calm, able to play alone, a good mood everyday, he sings all day long, just a happy child. Now at 3,5 he has decided to turn into a nightmare but that´s another story lol. So if it´s a boy it could be a total different experience. And you still have 50% change it´s a girl and it can still be twins too! Hope you´re feeling better.

[lisvna]

Thank you for those words! 2 boys and a girl would me amazing and it doesn't matter to me in which order. But im so scared if this would be a boy and HT wouldn't work next time I will never get a girl too......

[lisvna]

About dr Savvas....because it was unsure if I could get pregnant because of my bad embryos (they were severe fragmented and it looked like it was due to endometriosis) the idea was to get pregnant anyway (because we wanted more children) so the eggs would me better after so long no menstruation..... So I think it isnt really the blame on dr Savvas.......