I feel so down :(

**MatildaMai** · July 26th, 2012, 08:23 PM

I can totally see why you are upset. I would be too. A betrayed confidence hurts. At the same time I think its very hard for a mum to be stuck in the middle. Knowing that both of you were hurting and disappointed and wanting somehow to help. I'm sure she'd be horrified to know your sister had told you what she said. I would definitely talk to your mum, tell her how you feel and clear the air, otherwise it will just fester away and you'll feel even worse. And you'll have to deal with it anyway once you've had some scans and everyone is pestering you about whether its a DS or DD.

Good luck - I hope this is a DD for you.

**nuthinbutpink** · July 26th, 2012, 08:48 PM

I'm sorry.

**Tiffani3** · July 27th, 2012, 02:30 AM

Thank you girls, my mum is away at the moment and don't want to talk about it over the phone, so really have a few weeks to mull over wether to say anything! I spoke to dh about it and he wasn't at all suprised he think she favourtise her.
I aways thought she was quite fair but maybe I'm very trusting and aways believe in people until I get hurt!

I think will speak her about it but that wall is up now and I won't confide in her again.
Thank you
Your all so lovely xxx

**Mum23boys** · July 27th, 2012, 03:33 AM

Chin up chicken you always have us to talk to and your guarenteed to always find someone who knows how you are feeling. I think what your mum did was wrong but im guessing in familyu circles especially between mother and daughters she felt she couldnt keep it a secret as she didnt want to see either of you upset - or is there a chance your mum didnt actually tell her and your sis is just saying that ?
I can however relate to the jealousy thing - I know it very wrong but when my sister was pregnant with her 2nd ( having had a boy 1st ) i secretly hoped it would be another boy but knew it would be a girl as I at that point already had my 3 boys and my mum was desperate for a granddaughter and bang my sister gives her her 1st.... looking on the bright side i gave her her 1st and he is her world :-)
Sorry for waffling on !!! Anyway I hope you feel brighter today. Thinking of you. xx

**Butterfly Spirit** · July 27th, 2012, 03:42 AM

I can join you. At the beginning of this month my mom, DH, and boys were dining out..and at the end of our meal my kids were running around and loving it.. and all of a sudden my own mom shocks me and says "What are you going to do when you have 3 little boys running around?" This is my mom, who has known about my GD better than anyone.. and she KNEW how I wanted to wait as long as possible to tell anyone I'm pregnant to avoid gender related comments...
I immediately replied "Mom, you know that isn't fair, why did you say that?" "Well I'm just saying.. it's not guarenteed.. it's still 50/50" I said "No, you are wrong, I did many things to get a girl, so that makes it higher chances of that." And I think even after that I was so mad I said "I don't care what you say. I think it's a GIRL!"
I do love my mom, but wish that she wouldn't make stabbing comments such as those but she does it sometimes.. it's said that the ones we love the most hurt us most. She's even liked pointing out the CUTEST girl things to me in the past few years, so it's been HARD. I know how bad she wants a grandaughter though, because I'm probably the only one who will give her one. My older sister doesn't even date.
But anyways, I'm sorry your mom did that to you. But she's your mom, and you love her..and we all make mistakes. I didn't let that comment ruin our relationship at all..but it did ruin my day that day.

Try not to stress about GD, nothing is certain yet! You may get a BIG surprise this time!

**secretly sad** · July 27th, 2012, 04:03 AM

I am sorry. Your mum and sister should be the 2 people in your life you should be able to trust with your life. Come and talk to us xxx

**Tiffani3** · July 27th, 2012, 08:06 AM

Thanks girls, all your words really have helped i do feel so much calmer and happier today

It's lovely to find some many ladies that feel and have been in the same place as me, pg hormones are amazing really how much of a rollercoaster they are and most likely be down again next week lol
But at least I know I have you wonderful girls to talk to, thank you all so much

Xxxx

**Mrs_P** · July 27th, 2012, 09:31 AM

Moms can be so cruel at times. I know this from my experiences with my own mom. I know she loves me and she dotes on my boys but sometimes she says the cruelest of things. I think sometimes they forget when your grown just how harsh their words and actions can be. I doubt very much it was on purpose as awful as it sounds she prob just didn't think. Chin up hon, i know its not the same but there is always some one out her in cyber space to listen and its guaranteed confidential if you need to get things off your chest.

I didn't tell my mom with ds2, i found out at 32 weeks as it was driving me mad, i only told DH. She was there the day i had him and i remember her going its a boy its a boy and me replying i know! don't think she was best pleased but so what.

**monkeysnuffer** · September 2nd, 2013, 02:33 PM

I think I would talk to my mom about it. That was wrong. I hope you get your baby girl this time around. Hugs!

**monkeysnuffer** · September 2nd, 2013, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by Butterfly Spirit

I can join you. At the beginning of this month my mom, DH, and boys were dining out..and at the end of our meal my kids were running around and loving it.. and all of a sudden my own mom shocks me and says "What are you going to do when you have 3 little boys running around?" This is my mom, who has known about my GD better than anyone.. and she KNEW how I wanted to wait as long as possible to tell anyone I'm pregnant to avoid gender related comments...
I immediately replied "Mom, you know that isn't fair, why did you say that?" "Well I'm just saying.. it's not guarenteed.. it's still 50/50" I said "No, you are wrong, I did many things to get a girl, so that makes it higher chances of that." And I think even after that I was so mad I said "I don't care what you say. I think it's a GIRL!"
I do love my mom, but wish that she wouldn't make stabbing comments such as those but she does it sometimes.. it's said that the ones we love the most hurt us most. She's even liked pointing out the CUTEST girl things to me in the past few years, so it's been HARD. I know how bad she wants a grandaughter though, because I'm probably the only one who will give her one. My older sister doesn't even date.
But anyways, I'm sorry your mom did that to you. But she's your mom, and you love her..and we all make mistakes. I didn't let that comment ruin our relationship at all..but it did ruin my day that day.

Try not to stress about GD, nothing is certain yet! You may get a BIG surprise this time!

I had to respond to this. MY mom and I were closer than life and she knew how much I wanted a DD when I was preg with my son.

The night I had him, I was recovering in my room and my mom was the only one in there with me. I had just given birth hours before. She picks that time to say to me "I can see it in your eyes that you're picturing your baby girl." THat comment is now in my mind forever when I think about my son's birth. I think that was kind of inappropriate.

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