why does no one understand???

[jazzers]

Take some time to yourself to grieve - the loss of a dream, the loss of the daughter you'd hoped for.... I know it sounds silly, but it does take time. I found it helpful to avoid the subject for the first month after we found out. I didn't have anything good to say to anyone else who was pregnant (all with either their opposite gender girls or boys), and I just didn't want to go there. I also know the feeling of wanting the pregnancy to be over. I question why I am doing this to myself, and going through the exhaustion, and aches, and all of that just for another boy. I really do believe that if we can get through the pregnancy, it will all be OK again once the baby arrives. At least some of the pain might be gone, since you've had time to process, and you will come to love the new baby as much as your other kids. It is SO hard though.

[jazzers]

Its not easy, i was in your position 2 years ago out of 6 of us with two boys i was the only one who had a third. GD hit me like a brick, i thought every horrible thing under the sun, abortion, adoption, keeping him and going through the motions but i thought i would never bond with him. I did, big time he is amazing and he adds so much to our family, it might not seem it now but three boys are truly something special they bond together so well.

Ds3 i a real mommies boy, they all are and they treat me like a princess. Its not easy but it will get better. I cried for weeks (and thats ok you need to morn the daughter you won't have, don't feel guilty towards the baby cause its not about him its about you and giving up on something you dreamed of, at least for now anyway and its ok to feel that way). GD for me lifted after about 7.5 months or so and by his birth i was so ready to meet him and feel in love right away.

Peoples reactions are the worst, if don't feel up to it don't tell anyone just say its a surprise but you think it will be a boy. Holding your gorgeous baby in your arms makes it so much easier to confront peoples comments and when they can see him and how beautiful he is its less likely they will be mean comments.

My biggest regret is that i lost all of my pregnancy to gd partly because i tried so hard to hide it as i felt guilty. Give yourself time to come to terms with things (talk to us if you have no-one at home, no judgement you can vent freely and say all of those horrid things you think but would never do).

Wow, I could have written this myself! Except, I haven't experienced the happy ending yet...I'm still pregnant with boy #3. I have done exactly that though - told people it's a surprise, we don't know, etc. Too painful still, and I'm not ready for the comments and questions (are you going to try again for your girl? Just be happy he's healthy! blah blah blah...). I am so thankful this board is here... Makes me fell far less alone in this

[bythestream]

Im so sorry babyk big hugs. Like Jazzers says let yourself grieve. Sometimes life is unfair and the pregnancy hormones only make it worse. It is good to get all your feelings out and we'll listen. Praying you find peace soon. Maybe you should think about talking to a professional too?

[RKT Mama]

Hi,
have totally been where you are and sometimes I still am. I didn't want to admit the gender to anyone while I was pregnant. I thought finding out during pregnancy would make it easier because I wouldn't have to fake it at the birth but I don't know. Even once he was born I went through the motions for a long time. He is by far my easiest child and I love him more than anything but even at 3 1/2 years old I still resent the fact that he isn't a girl and that I have to go through another pregnancy to have any hope of a girl.
When I was extremely pregnant with DS3 I filmed a TV segment for a friend and at the end they gave me my "baby", a little girl that was the 4th girl to that family and I remember feeling like not wanting to give her back. Offering her parents a "swop".

[HelsBells]

Babyk, it's heartbreaking to read your posts. I totally understand how you feel and then there is the added guilt for having those feelings. Your DH probably is feeling sad too but men deal with things differently and he too would be feeling guilty for feeling disappointed. Tell him you need his support.
I didn't add in my last post just how surprisingly wonderful my DS2 is and so different to his brother.
It sucks being pregnant, but you will have such a rush of love and adoration for him when he arrives. I still want my girl but I wouldn't change him.
You will feel better bit by bit. Will this be your last baby or is there still a chance of a girl in the future ?

[Babyk10103]

DH and I are talking about ht gender selection, as I'm tired of trying naturally and getting all boys! Cost however is a major issue. He is dead set against adoption as I suggested that after ds 2. I'm not sure about other options. Scared to try a sway and it not work either. This child was a shettles sway that failed. I'm sort of in denial today, even being the third I don't really have a bump at 21 weeks and with an anterior placenta not feeling much, pretty easy to pretend its all a dream. We did move our boys in together to start on a nursery but haven't been able to go in there to start. I open the door and tears come so I just stay out. Haven't let DH bring the crib out of the attic yet either.

[glory]

In my opinion Shettles is not swaying, they have basically debunked timing as accurate enough for swaying. (I know cause I swayed with timing 3x and I have 3 boys, 2 of which were conceived 5 days before Ovulation (who knows how).

If you were going to sway, do the diet or get atomically custom plan, that has a greater success.

For me my dh needed the guarantee of a girl next as he knew I would just keep going and he really only wanted 3 kids

Good luck with the pregnancy xo