Friends' announcements make me so sad...

[begonia]

GOM I just wanted to say I identify with you ... you're definitely not alone Best wishes making a decision.

[gallons of milk]

Are you allowed to choose the sex of the baby you're adopting in the UK? Usually they do not allow that here.

Yes, you can. They even encourage you too. We had a meeting with a social worker who said, 'I'll just tick the girl box now shall I?' as soon as she heard we had two sons. But you can't generally get babies here. Babies, even those that are relinquished, have to go to foster care before they are placed with adoptive families and until the court orders are made. That generally takes at least a year, so most little ones available for adoption are over 1, and often come with lots of issues. Are you in the US?

I did hear that the rules are going to change here, so that babies can be fostered first by the people who want to adopt them, but the problem with that is that sometimes the birth parents get their act together and win back the baby before the adoption order is made. Really don't think I could cope with that, and neither could my boys.

[menlc611]

I know exactly how you feel. I had 2 boys and was pregnant with my 3rd. A "friend" of mine (who seemed to have the perfect life) was pregnant with her first and from the begining made it VERY clear she would only be happy with a girl. It really bothered me that she talked so openly about her feelings for not wanting a boy, and even at her gender reveal party looked at me and said "I don't know what I'm going to do if it's a boy"... Well, of course it was a girl and I left the party almost in tears. Why not me?! Why does someone who is so greedy get what she wants?! (and what I want!) We have since stopped talking. Not only did our friendship grow apart, but she made it a point to rub it in that she was having a girl. (Constantly sending me pictures of the baby's closet, carseat, bedding, etc.) I pray things work out for you!!

[wildwooddays]

Well remember, when you adopt that child is going to be yours too. Just born from the heart instead of the belly So that will be you someday announcing your daughter.
But I know how you feel, they always hurt me too. A friend of mine has two boys also and is pg and I just KNOW she is gonna have a girl while I have a third boy. I'm dreading that announcement.

[Mum23boys]

Girls i have 2 close pregnant friends right now both with 1 boy each and 1 has had her scan already and guess what its a girl - the other friend is due to find out on feb 1st and i can already guess its going to be a girl.....me Im sure Im on my 4th boy :-(

[gallons of milk]

Well remember, when you adopt that child is going to be yours too. Just born from the heart instead of the belly So that will be you someday announcing your daughter.
But I know how you feel, they always hurt me too. A friend of mine has two boys also and is pg and I just KNOW she is gonna have a girl while I have a third boy. I'm dreading that announcement.

Thank you wildwooddays, that's the loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me about adoption. I have been having some doubts about it, not because I don't think we could make it work but because of what we have to go through to get there. I keep plan B (HT, a sway?) up my sleeve just in case, which I guess is why I'm still on these boards, trying to figure things out and wondering what we will do if our adoption plans don't work. I think people often see adoption as the second best option, so what a lovely thought that one day I will be able to announce the arrival of the child of my heart.

[gallons of milk]

Well, at least I know it isn't just me who has these horrid jealous feelings. I suppose part of the journey is learning to deal with your own negative emotions. And what is with the insensitivity of all these people? Menlc611, it sounds like you are better off without this 'friend' in your life. She sounds horrible. I have to say, none of my friends have rubbed it in like that - not the true ones anyway. And because of that I have always managed to maintain my outward happiness for them. I am sad for myself and their happiness reminds me of what I don't have, but they don't deserve to have my negativity put on them.
By the way, what is a gender reveal party? This is not something we do in the UK. Is it like a baby shower? We don't do those either!