Boys boys boys...

[BusyHappyMum]

I wanted to respond to this post mainly with the experience im having at the minute... I am a mum to 2 boys and 11 days ago i had a baby girl, I found out at 20 weeks and was over the moon and indulged in pink but when she was born i didn't get that 'high' I expected and now here i am exhausted and looking at her she's just another baby another child to raise and a LOT of extra hard work! Don't get me wrong I love her more than words but just didn't have that crazy unreal feeling of having a girl... I dreamt from no age of this perfect moment with a perfect daughter etc I also worried about peoples comments had i had another boy but again i'm yesterday's news.. It's just not all that! I wish you all well xx

[mummypink]

Hi BusyHappyMum, congrats on your daughter.
I'm afraid I don't think you understand the comments or the sadness you feel unless you have actually had 3 boys with no prospect of having a daughter on the horizon. I'm sure if I had a little girl that the first few months and probably first year or so would be very similar to having my boys other than the colour of the clothes and some of the toys. That isn't really the part I feel so sad about or my reason for longing for a daughter.
My desire for a daughter is more about having that special mother and daughter bond as she grows up, having someone to share girly things with that my boys already aren't really interested in. Having someone to pass my jewellery and wedding dress onto, and just generally having the close female relationship that I enjoy with my own mother.
I even considered adopting but it isn't so easy over here, plus I know in my heart of hearts it isn't just about having a girl. It is about having my own daughter, seeing what personality traits we share, what she looks like etc etc.

I know none of that is a guarantee even if I had a daughter, but it would be nice at least to have a chance to find out.

I love my boys to pieces and don't take for granted how lucky I am to have them, but there will always be a hole in my life that I thought a daughter would one day fill. x

[minimatron]

I feel the same way as all of you, except I have the opposite gender. I dontt think we can win. I get strangers in the shops stopping me to show off their pigeon pair and demand I go back for a boy. How dare they. Yes I would love a boy.., but what can I do? You don't get to choose. Is it more important to have a penis? Or a vagina than to have a healthy baby. It hurts all these comments.. from strangers... From friends.. from family. Now I'm pg with #4 I'm terrified of how things will pan out. I don't want to feel miserable for being given the gift of life...

[mummypink]

Hugs minimatron, congratulations on your pregnancy. Sending you all my blue dust, I hope you get your little boy to complete your family. xxx

[minimatron]

Thanks mummypink... Enjoy your little man. With dd3 I was a mess and unfortunately for her first year of life all I could thof was trying again for a boy. I didn't really really take her in, but now she's 2and she is so so special. I feel guilty for a lot of the things I would think about when she was a baby. I live her to pieces. She's so different to my other girls.