Shocked about my babies gender disappointment!!!

[lindi]

You write so honestly about your experience and thoughts, I admire that very much. ((((((HUGS)))))) I hope you get your wish.

[Flava]

Omg Im sooo sorry! How can anyone hurt a 4 year old little girl? My DD3 is 4 now and so sweet I really can't imagine . And no one helped? omg
You must have a your baby girl! I really hope you get one!

[purplepoet20]

I am sorry that I never responed to this...

The Evil Witch (aunt);
Unfortunatly she never got help. She went on to marry and her first child was a girl, middle name after me. My aunt had sent a letter to my mother saying that she was a changed person and gave her daughter the middle name after me as a promise that she would never hurt her... While still married to her hubby she had an affair with a married man (who had 7 sons) and she had another girl. Her husband and her divorced and that is when it started. She abused her girls daily (ages 3 and 9mths) she was even living with my grandma and together they did horrible things. When my aunt became pregnant again the state (CPS) was already involved and all 3 girls were taken away, at 2 days old, 3yo, and 5yo.... they are now A-18 (living with dad), M-16 and J-13 (both with foster parents). The evil witch gets visits every 2wks.

I have days where I could fly to Illinois and do the things she did to me... and there are days I feel sorry for her because she just did what she saw growing up. But no matter what if she ever showed up at my house or anywhere near my kids well you all know what happens when you go into supermom mode!

[purplepoet20]

Out of everyone living in the house... my grandpa was caring for my baby sis and worked 12hr days, my grandma helped to cover it up, my mother was working and told me to not tell because I deserved it, my other aunt was 14 and did know any better, and my brother was still to young to understand what was happening... my mother didn't let us talk to our dad. When I did have to go to the ER for some bad cuts on my back the Dr called CPS and they called my dad.

No actions were taken against my aunt because she was a minor, but it was noted and that is why she was watched when she had kids.

[purplepoet20]

I still have extreme fears of hurting my kids... but thinking of the possiblity that I could hurt them makes me cry and breaks my heart!

[purplepoet20]

Thanks for all the support... this website is the best. Not only have I been able to get some feelings out but I have been able to except the fact that I would be happy with all boys...Love you all like sisters!

[Flava]

I read all this now and made me cry. Im so sorry!! I feel like I want to go and beat them up too! hurting little girls and babys too? Monsters!!!!

Im sure you would not hurt your little girl! I saw very bad things too and I don't do the same for sure!.

[Yuzu]

I cried while reading this. You shared with so much honesty some of the darkest feelings I sometimes have when GD takes over. My own personal experiences make me think sometimes I'm being punished for the things I've done in the past. I wish I had your courage in facing my next pregnancy.

[purplepoet20]

I wish I would see it as courage... more like I feel I have to prove that I would love my child no matter the gender.

I still think that I am doing all this swaying and I will end up with another boy. And so far I am ok with that. I have a name for a boy and I have all the boys clothing. Sometimes I think it is easier to have all the same gender so boys don't have to ballet with a bunch of sisters or a girl doesn't have to play hockey with brothers. But in a small part of my heart I do hope for a girl.

[Yuzu]

It takes courage to soldier on despite feeling ambivalent about something. It takes courage to do your best and still realize that realistically you may not be able to change anything. And it takes courage to be a wonderful mother to your sons. So many parents don't even make an effort with their offspring; it's really sad. I too desperately want a girl, and honestly when I get pg if I hear 'boy' it's going to be impossible to hold back the tears. But I know I'll adore him, no matter what. And like you said, we do have all the boy clothes and things!
((HUGS)).