Do you let on about your desire for the other gender when you already have the other?...

[mumof6]

the only person that knows how badly i want a girl is dh, my best friend knows i would like a girl but she doesnt know just how desperately i want one.
after six boys people assume i am desperate for a girl anyway but i always say i love having boys and find them easier to deal with than any of my nieces etc.
i dont think anyone actually has a clue just how badly we want a little girl - no one but my best friend knows that we are ttc right now too

[RKT Mama]

I have been commenting for years that I would only have another baby if it was a guaranteed girl. Unfortunately that is now backfiring on me. I did do one cycle of IVF/PGD that failed and now we are pregnant naturally after swaying. Very few people know I am pregnant but already one person has asked if its a girl because that's the only reason I would be having a baby.
Makes it a bit hard to convince people that I would be happy for a healthy boy. Even my kids have picked up on it asking for a sister and making comments that they have enough brothers.
Luckily this baby is likely to be a girl but it does worry me that my boys and everyone will think I am only happy with the baby because its a girl

[chocolate]

Have you had a scan rkt?

Thats it isn't it, if we do have the opposite gender, then it also changes everything as people will just say other dumb things like 'I bet your so happy to finally get .....' and Id feel like being defensive to my boys, and I think I would feel soooooo guilty for ever having thoughts about wanting girls and being dissapointed to hear boy again etc. Gosh its not easy is it?!

Im going to be more careful to just seem happy and content with my boys but also not defensive and say things like 'boys are easier' etc as I think that makes people suspicious. Both me and my friend (we both have all boys) have said 'oh maybe thats harder because she s a girl' but we are quick to correct ourselves and say 'oh but our boys do this which is so hard' .....

[KidAtHeart]

I confided in my mother, which I now thoroughly regret. Not only does she have three girls (and two boys) and just doesn't get it at all, but now she worries about me all the time. And I'm pregnant with number four! I also confided in my sister, who has two grown boys, and totally gets it. BUT, I didn't tell a soul about trying HT, except for DH of course! And I am SO glad I kept it that way. I like that it was our little secret. If it had worked and I knew I was pregnant with a girl, I still wouldn't tell anyone. Since we got pregnant naturally after the HT failure, we didn't find out the gender. I'm 22 weeks now. I think you will get comments regardless of how much you share of your desire. So really it's up to your comfort level and how much you can tolerate of judginess vs. the support you might receive. Personally, if I could go back in time, I would not say anything to my mother, but still would have confided in my sister. Did not share with other sister (well, not my full desire) to whom I am also close, nor my closest friends as I just felt they would not understand.

Since I'm of, ahem, advanced maternal age now, I get an extra ultrasound. I'm planning to find out the gender then. I do feel that I need time to process (since I'm pretty sure it's a boy) and I don't want that feeling of disappointment in the delivery room. Now the pressure is off though bc no one will know that we found out. Plus, I don't have to go through a full 20 weeks of gd. It will be more like 8-10. Enough to process (I hope!) but I get to enjoy a little more hope during the pregnancy. And funnily enough, while nervous, now I'm kind of excited to find out.

I am not the type to have a good comeback (though I wish I could!), so mostly I just change the subject. No one has been outright rude but there is always a comment. I can sense gd a mile away, so I'm sure I'm not fooling anyone else with a gd radar. But the average person I don't think would pick up on just how strong my desire is.

[My Three Sons]

Most everyone that knows me well knows that we really want a girl. Even people that aren't super close to us assumed that is why we were TTC again. It doesn't bother me when people ask if that's what is going on, because it is. I never feel that my boys feel disappointed or that I feel disappointed that they are boys. I don't think they realize anything about GD at all. Of course I will be happy with a happy and healthy baby overall. If/when I find out this one is a boy, I am sure that I will go through some tears as I will truly, TRULY know this is the last and my hopes of a girl are definietly gone.