What next!!!!

[1+2+3boys]

Oh man, what a pain. Have you talked about vaccination for the son who does not have it yet? I think I have heard it is never too late and if he already has caught it then he would get a really mild version of it. Not sure though but worth asking your doctor or researching for the safety of your newborn.
I hope all turns out O.K and fx for an overdue bub this time

[Mrs_P]

thanks girls, they don't seem keen on the idea of a vaccine over here, keep saying normally its mild and that there is no reason to assume it won't be with my other little guy - he will get it its just a case of when but since ds2 has been ill since tuesday/wednesday now its unlikely ds3 has caught it from the same source as he's fine so its looking like he will get it from ds2 now so we have no wait the incubation period out - oh bugger i was really hoping he'd get it sooner!

does anyone know how easy it is to catch, how airborne it is, as in if i kept her upstairs and him well away would she still be likely to catch it? From what i have read she can't have the vaccine as a newborn but will ask the hospital when i go into labor as the chances are unless she rocks up in the next day or two that ds2 will have recovered but ds3 won't yet have the spots

[dloui128]

thanks girls, they don't seem keen on the idea of a vaccine over here, keep saying normally its mild and that there is no reason to assume it won't be with my other little guy - he will get it its just a case of when but since ds2 has been ill since tuesday/wednesday now its unlikely ds3 has caught it from the same source as he's fine so its looking like he will get it from ds2 now so we have no wait the incubation period out - oh bugger i was really hoping he'd get it sooner!

does anyone know how easy it is to catch, how airborne it is, as in if i kept her upstairs and him well away would she still be likely to catch it? From what i have read she can't have the vaccine as a newborn but will ask the hospital when i go into labor as the chances are unless she rocks up in the next day or two that ds2 will have recovered but ds3 won't yet have the spots

I found this online for you How do you catch chickenpox? - Health questions - NHS Choices

I would say keep her in a completely different room with no contact at all until he gets it and the blisters crust over

[Mrs_P]

Spent much the whole day in tears, now i know i'm crazy and hormonal and i'm sorry to moan at everyone on here i just have no-one else to speak to. My mom has been chatting to my SIL who is a nurse and they have decided that the best thing to do if both of the boys haven't both had it and are recovered is to take my baby away when she is born.

My SIL reckons that the separate room thing won't work they need to be completely isolated to keep her safe so i have to choose one of them to leave. My son and i are so close and he is such a mommas boy that i cannot leave him for potentially 2 weeks (i have never left him before even over night and he is likely to be really quite poorly with it as it will affect his other health issues to making him feel really rough) so its apparently best all around if they take my daughter - just like that; i'm not have any contact with her and i can't breast feed her but its justifiable then cause i know she'll be safe and we will have years together after and on top of this my husband thinks its the only way to ensure she's safe and its a good idea, we've waited years for her what will a couple of weeks matter! i feel like my heart is breaking and am spending every moment hoping my son gets sick and i don't go into labor.

My midwife and doctor are no use and the internet seems really hit and miss - some sites say she should be protected and only get a mild case if i am immune and breastfeeding her - some say its really dangerous in newborns under 4 weeks and that 1 in 5 that catch it will die from it (which she would be if i brought her home and she gets it off them - she'd be 2 weeks old with it).

I have no idea what to do - am i just hormonal and wreck cause of that?!? What you all do?

[deaks66]

hang on a minute, since when do your mum and SIL get to decide?! its your baby and your decision, dont be bullied! i would imagine that when you have given birth and have your long awaited baby girl in your arms that the last thing you will want is for her to be removed from you. Try and take things as they come a little. If you explain to your little man about how poorly the baby could get he might not mind a few days at grannies house so much... promise him he'll get spoilt rotten.

[Dreamofpink]

Mrs P, I can't believe you're having to deal with all of this! I really really feel for you. Chicken pox is horrid and I thought I had a lot to deal with in April when I was newly pg, ds1 had Chicken Pox and a fractured ankle in a cast (all diagnosed on the same day ) and then 10 days later ds2 came down with it whilst ds1 was still in his cast. It was a rough month but we got through it and knowing I was immune meant I didn't have to worry about this LO. I wish I could come and look after your DS3 for you or wave a magic wand to make it all go away.

I think you're definitely right, it's inevitable that he'll get it but the timing couldn't be worse. Is there anyway that you could stay with your Mum or SIL and let DH look after DS3? Or send DS3 to your Mum? I understand you really don't want to be apart from him, all we want to do when they're ill is look after them and all they want is Mummy anyway. It's an awful position for you to be in, but I really think you need to play it ultra-safe. I could never bring myself to deliberately infect mine at a chicken pox party (urgh!) just in case they're one of the odd ones that reacts badly. You've always expressed a worry that DD'll make it to you safely and I'm sure that DS3 will understand in his own way. It's heartbreaking for you though to have to keep them apart, introducing siblings is such a wonderful and special time. I hope you get through this okay, can your midwife or GP really not offer any decent advice at all? Crikey, perhaps the labour ward will have something to say about it. I'm thinking of you and hope you can find a solution quickly and satisfactorily.

[Dreamofpink]

BTW, your SIL may be a nurse but she's not thinking of that crucial time when you're bonding with DD. You already have a very strong bond with DS3, which as heartbreaking as it would be, I'm certain would survive with no lasting problems if you're separated temporarily. However, those early days are absolutely vital for her learning to feed, bonding with you and for your own mental well-being.

I spent the first 6 weeks apart from DS1 as he was born at 30 weeks and spent that time in the NICU. It took me a year to come to terms with it even though I could visit him everyday during that time and knew that he needed that care to survive. I needed a professional peri-natal counsellor to help me understand and make sense of the very traumatic time that we went through. It would be unbearable for you to be apart from DD like that and totally unforgiveable that your SIL and Mum make the choice for you.

I don't want to sound heartless, it's not my intention as I know you love all of your children fiercely and equally, however I believe that DD should be the priority as she'll be so little and is at the most risk. DS3 is older and easier for a relative to take care of and probably won't remember the separation. I understand that it's excruciating for you to be apart from him, but it'd be for the best. I hope my experience doesn't cloud my answer too much, also my boys are very close with my parents so I'd have no problem leaving them with my parents if they were ill and I had no choice. I'm sorry but I don't know how close you & your boys are with your Mum. Forgive if I've overstepped the line. Sending you a huge hug and don't beat yourself up for crying a lot over it all, it's an awful situation to be in.

[Emily]

Oh you poor thing! I would write down all the possibilities and then ring th eNHS helpline and ask them what they think. Explain that your doc has been unwilling to commit. They have different operators with different areas of expertise so should be able to pass you on to the right person.

You will feel happier with whatever is decided if it is an impartial recommendation based purely on the facts. Big hugs to you.

[RKT Mama]

I would have thought that the risk of not breast feeding her would be far higher than her contracting chicken pox. It's pretty rare for breast fed babies to get chickenpox if mom doesn't have it and you are her best protection.

[Cinss]

My SIL reckons that the separate room thing won't work they need to be completely isolated to keep her safe so i have to choose one of them to leave. My son and i are so close and he is such a mommas boy that i cannot leave him for potentially 2 weeks (i have never left him before even over night and he is likely to be really quite poorly with it as it will affect his other health issues to making him feel really rough) so its apparently best all around if they take my daughter - just like that; i'm not have any contact with her and i can't breast feed her but its justifiable then cause i know she'll be safe and we will have years together after and on top of this my husband thinks its the only way to ensure she's safe and its a good idea, we've waited years for her what will a couple of weeks matter! i feel like my heart is breaking and am spending every moment hoping my son gets sick and i don't go into labor.

What you all do?

No way! Leave your son with them, its only 2 weeks max and he will be FINE. He may be a mummas boy but honestly he's not even 3 yet? He wont be that bothered by it, he may cry when you leave but he will be FINE after that. Its probably going to be harder on you than him. You need to spend the first days/weeks with your newborn.