Any else not want to get their hopes up?

[swish]

I definately don't want to get my hopes up, I won't even let myself think of names or anything else that makes it a reality. I also worry that swaying and not succeeding will make it even more difficult. I keep thinking I should be thinking positively it's so hard to strike a balance

[purplepoet20]

DS2 was born 5wks before DS1's 2nd birthday... I was a little hard at first and it did put potty training on hold for a few months. There really wasn't any fighting or porblems until DS2 was crawling at 5mths old. Once he started to go after big bros toys the war began. They get along 92% of the time. I am hoping to teach them as they get older how work out problems by talking about them and finding a solution, talking to DS1 about how it hurts brother to take toys away and asking what would make brother stop crying (he runs a gets him a toy he knows he loves). I feel it best to start very young to avoid major proplems in the teen and adult years.

I came from a big family 3 boys 5 girls (1 passed)... we got along 40% of the time but our parents never taught us how to work problems out so we resorted to fighting. On the rare times we are all together we act like neighbors who are just being nice and saying hi. Really sad but even my parents and their siblings are like that, I haven't seen 1 uncle in 8 years because he didn't pay my dad for some construction work, and an aunt for 12 years now because of my dad telling her to stop calling my step-bro gay.

If I do get twins then I will never ever want anymore kids after... I can see myself out shopping trying to chase after a 2 year old, keeping a close eye on a 4 year old and trying not to drop twin babies!!!

[purplepoet20]

I definately don't want to get my hopes up, I won't even let myself think of names or anything else that makes it a reality. I also worry that swaying and not succeeding will make it even more difficult. I keep thinking I should be thinking positively it's so hard to strike a balance

I did family names for DS1 and wanted to do the same for baby #2... I had 2 boys names and 2 girls names. So for this next baby I feel I have to do another family name...... Madeleine and Henry for a single baby and if twin girl Ashlynn for the second one. If twin boys then the second one will be Sue (like the country song).

[jude17]

Hi Swish. I had my hopes on a girl for my second baby and to be honest I was very depressed that I didn't get my girl. I am still sad even though my second boy is now here. I think once he gets older (and starts to sleep better, please let it be soon!!) and also starts to interact with my older son (he already does, he can't keep his eyes off him when he is awake) I will feel better. I am really hoping that they will get on well and the at least we can have a happy family compared to my older sister and sister in laws family where their boy/girl fight like crazy and they have really stressful households!

But it has I am afraid been really hard on me to sway and not get my girl. I think its been a lot harder though as my sister had a girl a few weeks before my new son (she has the twin boys the same age as my older boy) so I am constantly put into situations where my sister and her husband are over the moon to have a girl after two boys. Its so hard as we spend so much time together and she is always asking me how my new son is doing i.e. with sleeping and then going on how her girls is such a good wee girl and sleeps really well now. Its SO hard to keep positive. But this time if we do sway I will just go in knowing that I did my best and if it doesn't work then I wasn't meant to have a girl and I will have 3 boys who will fingers crossed be best mates. I think it may be easier knowing that this would be our last baby (no more trying) and this time I wouldn't have a pregnant sister having a baby girl the same time as me. I really think her having a girl at the same time as me has made it so much harder for me to have a another son so fingers crossed getting ANOTHER boy wouldn't be as emotionally hard as it has been this time around.

[atomic sagebrush]

Every time I feel optimistic that I will get my DD I keep having to remind myself it is not 100%, and then I tell myself that I will probably have another DS. Not that wouldn't adore another DS, but I feel like these back and forth thoughts are sort of a buzz kill.

If anything, that attitude will help you sway. I worry about the ladies that are SO confident that their "perfect" sway will get them a DD because in my experience "perfect" sways are usually opposites because of the rise in testosterone that comes along with that confidence!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes I go back and forth feeling really excited thinking I could very well get a girl but then feeling sad that I probably won't. Thinking this was does make me sometimes think why should I even bother doing the diet and all the swaying stuff as it sounds very full on and very tiring especially when some people say swaying just doesn't work. I so want to be in the position where its me being told I have a girl (everyone around me has or is having a girl). I wouldn't be swaying for a while so I am going to keep an eye on what people actually get when doing a full on diet/supplement/etc sway. I guess though you have to try in order to possibly get your girl but be prepared and totally happy to have another boy (or a third boy in my case!!).

If swaying really does nothing, then it doesn't hurt to try, right? Even if swaying is total crap, at least you'll still have the 50-50 shot!!

[atomic sagebrush]

OMG....Twin girls would be better than winning the lottery...We'd then also have 2 boys & 2 girls and I would be completely over the moon!!! Actually, I think having just one girl would be better than winning the lottery though...I'm not asking for much, lol!

BTW PP, It always sounds like you're doing great w/your sway so I think you're doing everything you can to tip the balance toward PINK.

One time they did a poll on IG that was titled, would you rather win the lottery and never get your DG or get your DG without having to sway or go HT?? I thought that was an interesting idea!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I would love to have my 2 boys and also to get 2 girls (twins) as I really like the thought of each sex having the same sex brother or sister for company when they get older. My older sister and sister in law have one girl and one boy each and man they fight like crazy. I really don't think they are close at all now or will be close when they get older. My husband and his sister are not close at all. My twin sister had twin boys first and then recently a little girl. I have seen her with her twins and man two at the same time is such hard work. I really don't know if I would have the patience for twins but twin girls would be so great to have that sisterly bond. If I was lucky enough to have a girl I know that I would feel sad she didn't have a sister for that sisterly bond so twin girls would be such a blessing. But I know that this isn't going to happen. I would most likely end up with twin boys!! I think having 2 boys though is going to be good. My older sons (4 years old) loves his little brother so I have my fingers crossed that they won't fight as much as their cousins and actually like each other and get on!!

I have a question though - my new son is 3 and a half months old and due to my age we will have to try for another baby within the next year. I am really worried that even if I got my girl it wouldn't be as enjoyable if I would also have quite a young child to be looking after as well as a new born. Its so hard now getting up at night to a new baby but doing this as well as tending to a young child waking in the night (and juggling daytime activities i.e. feeding baby and looking after the young child) might actually do me in!! So for you ladies with 3 or more children or that have had babies very close together how hard is it juggling a new baby and a young child? Its freaking me out that even with a girl it will be so hard and just not as enjoyable as if I have had a girl for our second child?

I totally understand what you are saying and that is a big part of why I actually think I'd rather have another boy at this point...it will never be what I dreamed.

But that having been said, my DS 3 and 4 are less than a year apart and I really like the age gap. My first two boys were almost 4 years apart and they've never gotten along. Aside from having to change two diapers, it's been really easy because both of the little boys are in baby mode at the same time, and they enjoy playing together a lot more than my older boys did.

[atomic sagebrush]

Jude17 - I actually found baby number 3 the easiest of the bunch and he just fit in. My parenting style was much different with him I think, far more instinctive. I always say I turned hippy with him! Oh - and I've lowered my expectations a lot! We're often late (which for most things really doesn't matter!) and we don't 'do' much except hang out and go for walks. It's a lovely life really

K x

Totally this! THat's the key to happiness with a bigger family...lower expectations in the best possible sense of the word. It's much nicer to be able to be calm and just enjoy the kiddos rather than feeling like your every action is of critical importance in building this little person. With my DS 1 and 2 I thought I had to do everything perfectly and teach them everything they needed to know and it drove us all crazy. With DS 3 and 4 I can just BE and I find they still have learned everything just as quickly as my first two and without all the stress!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Swish. I had my hopes on a girl for my second baby and to be honest I was very depressed that I didn't get my girl. I am still sad even though my second boy is now here. I think once he gets older (and starts to sleep better, please let it be soon!!) and also starts to interact with my older son (he already does, he can't keep his eyes off him when he is awake) I will feel better. I am really hoping that they will get on well and the at least we can have a happy family compared to my older sister and sister in laws family where their boy/girl fight like crazy and they have really stressful households!

But it has I am afraid been really hard on me to sway and not get my girl. I think its been a lot harder though as my sister had a girl a few weeks before my new son (she has the twin boys the same age as my older boy) so I am constantly put into situations where my sister and her husband are over the moon to have a girl after two boys. Its so hard as we spend so much time together and she is always asking me how my new son is doing i.e. with sleeping and then going on how her girls is such a good wee girl and sleeps really well now. Its SO hard to keep positive. But this time if we do sway I will just go in knowing that I did my best and if it doesn't work then I wasn't meant to have a girl and I will have 3 boys who will fingers crossed be best mates. I think it may be easier knowing that this would be our last baby (no more trying) and this time I wouldn't have a pregnant sister having a baby girl the same time as me. I really think her having a girl at the same time as me has made it so much harder for me to have a another son so fingers crossed getting ANOTHER boy wouldn't be as emotionally hard as it has been this time around.

A lot of us have found that it gets easier with each subsequent baby. Your GD baby is always your GD baby and part of what makes it hit so hard is that you never expected to have GD to begin with.