How do I handle the comments?!?

[LilithWiser1979]

I'd get comments all the time about my 2 boys. When they were rowdy, "Oh, don't you wish one was a girl," or "I'll bet you'll be trying for a girl next." Ugh, the one I hated the most was, "Poor mama needs her mini-me." Yuck! None of my kids are mini-anything except for being mini-people! I'm not having kids to have a younger version of me to look at! That's called cloning!

I agree wholeheartedly that my friends with three or more boys have to deal with WAY more comments than I do. There's something ridiculous in Western culture that makes people think they should make comments and make you feel inadequate about something you have no control over, like the gender of your kids.

Only the SMOGs really get to me (Smug Mothers Of Girls.) Hearing, "oh thank god I didn't get a boy. I have no idea what to do with those!" I mean, I'm glad that they're happy with their family make-up, but rubbing that in anyone's face is just horrible. And yes, I know SMOBs, too. They are the flipside of SMOGs, just as bad, and queen bees to boot!

[TishTashTosh]

I never had any comments when I just had the two boys and don't see why people would comment?! With 3 boys I get LOADS of comments and usually just say there can only be one queen in our castle! Of course I never mention I am thinking of swaying!


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[Adia]

I think things like comments about 2 of the same gender is part of the problem of perfection that has come about in our culture.

The internet has allowed us to filter what a lot of people see from us and given us the ability to make things seem more perfect than they may actually be.

It does seem to be a recent phenomena that everyone considers a PP to be perfect. In my grandmothers day and age you got what you got and that was it.

We are so accustomed to manipulating so many things to fit our liking. Having a specific gender of children is just part of that silent social agenda of perfection. Its a real problem IMO and creates an internal struggle of feeling 'less than'.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Thanks for all your support and feedback. Luckily I faced minimal discussions about my two boys...I guess this crowd stayed focused in the bride, which is great!


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[2boysJustOneGirl]

I think things like comments about 2 of the same gender is part of the problem of perfection that has come about in our culture.

The internet has allowed us to filter what a lot of people see from us and given us the ability to make things seem more perfect than they may actually be.

It does seem to be a recent phenomena that everyone considers a PP to be perfect. In my grandmothers day and age you got what you got and that was it.

We are so accustomed to manipulating so many things to fit our liking. Having a specific gender of children is just part of that silent social agenda of perfection. Its a real problem IMO and creates an internal struggle of feeling 'less than'.

I too feel my family is less than perfect because of the crazy image we are all expected to live up to. As if a mother of sons is less than a mom of daughters or a PP?!? How did society ever get so shallow? Is feminism to blame? Why do we all value daughters so much, to the point of complete depression when the reality of never having one sets in? How can human beings possibly believe one baby gender is more or less fulfilling? I am beginning to wonder if the reason I want a daughter so badly is because a daughter is what I do not already have.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Keep in mind tho that a fair bit of this is just marketing. Greedy people who want to trick us into buying a bunch of blue plastic crap for boys and pink plastic crap for girls and are willing to use psychological manipulation into thinking we are "missing out on something" if we don't get to buy both pink and blue plastic crap!

[Linzshine32]

This kind of thing annoys the crap out of me. I only have 1 child and it's a boy and I constantly get the "you have to have another kid so you can get your girl" - as if I purposely chose a boy the first time around and I can purposely choose a girl the second. I hate when people assume that the only reason you'll have another is to get a certain gender. I'm always saying things like "Well a girl would be fun but we just think DS would be a good sibling so we're going to try to give him one"... instead of just focusing on the gender. It's so annoying. And I also can't stand SMOGs. UGH!

[2boysJustOneGirl]

SMOBs and SMOGs! Hilarious yet very annoying. I think their attitude can often be a front to their inner feelings. I think it's human nature to want both male and female offspring, if for no other reason, women want a son to surely please their husband and maybe even save their marriage. Some cultures really do not embrace women/girls and it can strain a marriage. Just as my insane desire for a daughter has strained mine. These smug mothers ( genuine or not) need to learn to keep quiet. We don't know what kind of battles other mothers are facing, emotionally and maybe even physically. I wish moms can be kinder to one another.


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[Peebell85]

I've already had people say that I can try again for a girl and I'm happily telling them that I am quite content with my family of boys. I dont 'need' a girl (I understand some mums do and I dont judge that) but I'm glad my GD has gone, I'm SO excited now about having little boy brothers.

[atomic sagebrush]

it is TOTALLY possible to both be very happy and satisfied as a boy mom, which I was and still am and yet still want a daughter. People outside of all this have never understood but my wish for a daughter is absolutely separate and outside of my love for my sons and enjoyment of the "boy world"

I sometimes try to compare it as you are sitting at dinner and everyone is eating steak and a potato but for some reason you're sitting there with like this massive portion of steak and it's like, hey, steak is fab, but it's just a LOT of steak and I could go for some potato y/k??