Help me plan my second month swaying!

[atomic sagebrush]

So, after 2 weeks of many hopeful signs, af finally found me. Now that I'm on CD1 again, it's time to plan this month's sway. I have a big problem this month, and that's a trip we've planned to my family's cottage right around O time. It's a tiny cottage, and we'll be sharing it with my parents and my brother's family. We'll be sharing a room with all 3 kids (and possibly one of their cousins), so dtd is going to be very hard if not impossible.

Before I started Vitex, I always O'd on CD12. This past month, I O'd on CD14. Does anyone who had Vitex delay their O have experience with whether or not it will delay O again the second month taking it? If I O on CD12, I am officially screwed because O day will happen at the cottage. If I O on CD14 like last month, I'll O 2 days after getting home from the cottage, which means we could still dtd 2 days before O, 1 day before O then on O day if I choose to (which I might, since I really, really want to get pregnant this month).

Last month we did frequent BD - dh released every day starting on CD1, then we dtd without a condom every day from CD7 to CD13. Obviously, we can't do that this time around. The way I see it, my choices are:

-have dh abstain instead of doing frequent BD, then do one attempt the day before O (I'm over 35, though, and atomic suggests abstaining isn't ideal for older mamas)
-have dh abstain then do 2-3 attempts (which I know is not a good idea, right?)
-beg dh to release daily in the shower, even when we're at the cottage (the only reason he agreed to this last time was because I...um...helped him release every day . I fear that if I'm not helping, he won't bother, and there's no way I can have enough privacy to do it at the cottage), then do 1-3 attempts depending on when O actually happens and whether or not we're back from the cottage yet. If we don't get back until O-day (if I O on CD12 my one attempt will have to be that day. O+12 isn't an option because my older eggs are unlikely to survive that long.
-any other ideas?

Sorry for the loooong post, but I need to make a decision on this pronto so I can decide whether or not to have dh release daily starting today.

You def. can have different O days month to month on vitex. You can't rely on what happened last month to plan for the next.

It's not ideal, but I would prob. have DH abstain and then do one attempt with 2 or 3 day cutoff. My DH would prob. die a thousand deaths rather than help himself in that situation.

You could possibly abstain and plan for one attempt, then if you don't O right away, release 2 times a day through O, throwing out the first batch and using the second batch each time. Maybe not the first day you get back...so release twice the first day and dump both of them, then on the second day release twice and use the second batch, again on the third day, and so on until you O.

The other option might be to go for a few really long walks in the woods and then do a quick "tick check" but obviously that is fraught with peril!!! "Oh hi grandma."

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh, and another question: is it possible I used too much Sylk? I used a ton of it - as much as I would have used with our regular lube. Should I only be using a little bit?

That is totally possible (Sylk even says on its website that it's sperm unfriendly and not to be used for TTC lube). Cut the amount in half for this month and go from there.

[Mochagirl]

Thanks, Atomic! After a lot of thought, I think we're going to go for frequent BD and do the best we can. I'm so desperate to get pregnant this month that I'm afraid to leave everything to one attempt. I think we might be able to manage one quick walk a day most days, and there are certainly parts of the woods quiet enough for a quickie, and the other two days I'll either find a way to help him release, or at least make sure he has some quiet time in the cottage (bring the whole family on a walk or something while he has a 'nap') so he can do it in privacy. The more I think about it, there are only 3 whole 24 hour periods that we'll be there. If we dtd early in the morning on the day we leave for the cottage (it's a full day drive to get there), can that count for that day's 'release' even if we just dtd the night before?

Now I have to work on my other problem: how to keep to my diet when I have my meat-loving brother making all the meals....

[swish]

Hi mocha, my ovulation was delayed even further on the second month of taking vitex. I wonder if I'm easily altered as after coming off the pill it has taken 5 months for my periods to return each time. I don't know if you've had this experience but maybe it is an indication of how easily you can be messed up. I would definitely bribe, beg and plead with dh to do frequent release. The bear thing did make me laugh, that would not be ideal!!! I think the car sounds a good option even if you can do it once or twice. I actually agree with zanacal that if you get pregnant first time it almost seems too easy and wouldn't result in a girl, like you didn't so enough to reduce your fertility etc. I read on quite a few posts girls comments that they thought the large amounts of sylk they used prevented bfp, i would definitely only use a little bit. I really hope next month is your month!!!!

[Mochagirl]

Thanks, swish! My cycles are pretty regular - af arrived before ds3 was even 2 months old even though I was exclusively bf, and they've been regular ever since even though I only stopped BFing a few months ago...hopefully that means Vitex won't make pinpointing O as confusing as it did for you!

I think dh and I can make the frequent bd work. It'll definitely make him enjoy the cottage more if he gets lots of secret, sneaky sex - it'll be just like when we were first dating 13 years ago!

And I also agree that if I'd gotten pregnant first try maybe I would have worried that I wasn't swaying hard enough. However, I don't want to make it so hard to get pregnant that it takes months and months! I'm definitely going to use Sylk sparingly this month and I'll also be more careful with the Rephresh so I don't use too much.

[swish]

Sounds like a good plan!!! My dh would think all his Christmases had come at once if he got to have secret sex!!!,

[Out of the Blue]

Sounds like a good plan!!! My dh would think all his Christmases had come at once if he got to have secret sex!!!,

Mine too, lol.

[Mochagirl]

Yep, same with my dh. I told him tonight, and he was very excited at the prospect. I think the only reason he agreed to baby #4 was because it would mean lots of sex. I'm also fairly positive he was hoping I wouldn't get pregnant the first month so he could get another month of it.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hahahaha that sounds very very familiar! Mine was actually disappointed that I got pg so easily with DS 3!!!

[DoulaMama]

Yep, same with my dh. I told him tonight, and he was very excited at the prospect. I think the only reason he agreed to baby #4 was because it would mean lots of sex. I'm also fairly positive he was hoping I wouldn't get pregnant the first month so he could get another month of it.

HAHAHAHAHA! OMG this is my DH to a tee! He wasn't disappointed at all that I haven't gotten pregnant the last 2 months and I can tell that for the firs time he's actually enjoying the "trying" part of TTC Mocha- I hope that you find the time, privacy and sense of humour you will need while TTC on holidays!!! LOL! Keep us posted!