12 weeks, blue or pink?

[Nahri]

no nub really but Id give it a girl lean on the skull

[atomic sagebrush]

That is what I think too, coocoo. It is just plain unnatural for us to be able to find out the gender of a baby before it's even born. It messes with your mind and over time you will feel a lot better about it. So many of us have been in the same place and then gone onto find that our GD baby is the one we have a very special bond with and we'd never trade them for a zillion of our desired gender.

Take it one day at a time, I'm thinking of you. ((((hugs))))

[Leebug]

I did everything right.that's the horrible part.diet supplements ovulation everything.18 months of time and money down the drain.now I'm going to have 2 endure everyone saying "oh sorry u didn't get your boy" and looking at DH feeling so sad that he didn't get his boy.everyone I know has at least one boy.even after 2 girls Or was smart enough to stop after 2 of the same gender.why not me? My horrible ungrateful sister has a beautiful little boy who was an accident,who my parents practically raise because she thinks he is such a burden & I can't have ONE boy.it's so unfair.it's like I don't even care the baby is healthy.I got rid of all my baby girl stuff because I told myself I either having a BOY or no more children.that was dumb.when I told DH I was pg he told me to have an abortion.that he didn't think I would get pg & just went along with it,trying to keep the peace.I couldn't do it.I couldn't kill it.my family will be completely devasted.especially my in laws.they can't stand me.guess I'm giving them another reason to hate me.I'm sure my sister in law will be psyched I didn't get my boy.she has no children & been completely jealous of my kids.I should've never told her we really wanted a boy.I just totally hate myself right now

[Adia]

Oh honey, I am sorry. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make it all better, but alas, the magic wand I ordered long ago has yet to be delivered.

This has to be one of the bad sides of finding out gender so early. Not that agonizing and wishing for 20 weeks is all that great either....

I am sorry sweetie. Don't lose hope that their will be some way to find peace and closure to your dream. I have no preconceived idea of what that looks like, but I know its out there...crappy part is it can take YEARS to get there.

I am a dork. I wanted a boy badly with DD1, divorced her lame dad and married DH. When we got prego with DD2 and we both really wanted a boy I figured we had one more shot. I stupidly assumed that my feeble attempt at Shettles, and the fact that I was a good person and the universe owed me something, the next baby would be a boy. I HONESTLY thought we had a decent shot at a boy. DH and I were CRUSHED when we heard DD3. DH was a champ and he took it much better than me, but we couldn't speak to each other for several days after that fateful ultrasound. I couldn't face him without crying and he just didn't have anything to say. He had dealt with so much disappointment in his life that he just added it to the list.

My heart melted the other night as he was showing the girls some videos of when they were tiny. He was holding a very tiny DD3 and kissing her and loving on her like she was his little treasure. I felt so bad watching those videos as I struggled so much with GD in the first years of her life and what I had failed to do, make a boy. Their was a very good possibility that DD3 was our last, which made it even harder to accept.

I am not going to lie, if that blood test is correct and this is DD3, it is a long road to finish this pregnancy and wade through the sea of GD that seems to hit us regardless of how hard we try to avoid it and fight it.

I HIGHLY suggest making a coping plan. If you haven't told DH, maybe don't tell him until he asks and swears to keep it quiet. I HIGHLY recommend not telling ANYONE. Lie, say you are team green. DON'T TELL ANYONE you can't handle lame ass comments from. That is the one thing I would do different if I could only pick one thing. I would rather have suffered alone with DD3 than the stupid comments that STILL ring in my ears to this day.

Consider counseling, I wish I had gotten some. We were overseas and the counselors on base were idiots. Had I been in the USA, I would have found someone to help me through it. It can't hurt, might help. If one counselor isn't helping, find someone else or some sort of face to face support.

Hang in there. Time heals this wound and those, like me, who survived can promise you are going to be ok. Why we were given this burden to carry in life is never going to make sense to me, but I have seen many other challenges in life I'd gladly pass on...but GD still sucks.

We are here for you anytime you need to vent, cry, scream, etc. Big hugs mama.

[foxymrsg]

I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and know there is always support here for you. (((((hugs))))

[Leebug]

Thx fox & adia.u both are so kind& sweet & unjudgemental
if that's even a word.thank u.I just told DH & he didn't even care.it was like he was finally ok with us having another
baby & said he gave up a long time ago on a little boy.he said he wasn't disappointed at all.i said I was sorry.that I so badly wanted to give him a little boy & I failed.he said he didn't care & would love whatever we have.I was
sobbing.he wiped my tears & hugged me & said I was being way 2 hard on myself

[Leebug]

Adia,I will take all if your advice.we haven't told anyone &
will probably say we are not finding out the gender

[Adia]

Your DH is a gem Leebug!

Try and absorb some of his "se la vie" attitude. They can be so good at that when we are beating ourselves up.

I can't think of that sweet video of my DH snuggling our tiny new DD3 without crying. It was his baby that he helped create and that was all that mattered in that moment. Sometimes men get over it and don't care way better than we can.

Until you have a beautiful new baby to show off, guard your feelings and heart fiercely. Tell anyone who wants to buy a gift to buy neutral and pretend you are excited for the "surprise" gender if anyone asks. Fake it until you make it!!!

To this day, if I get lame comments about 'another girl' I look as bewildered as possible and say "what's wrong with girls?" I have yet to get a good answer on that one!

Hang in there honey. You get a new baby! I know it isn't the baby you were hoping for but she will bring joy you didn't know possible...that I can guarantee!

Vent here on Gender Dreaming or pm me any time! I am thinking about you!

[foxymrsg]

Oh your DH sounds wonderful, I'm so pleased you've been able to speak to him about it. Yes defo tell people you're team green! You don't need the negative comments from anyone. People are so full of crap anyway. If your were having a boy and told people someone would still have something negative to say. Some people are not happy unless they're making others unhappy! Keep your head held high and on your bad days you came here and vent as much as you like. You're right there's absolutely no judgement here we've all been there and know how you feel. We empathise not criticise. Take as much time as you need and think of how amazing your beautiful girls will all be together with an amazing bond xxx

[jojoryan]

Oh leebug I am so sorry :-( your story has made me tear up! But what an amazing hubby you have, he sounds so supportive you have a wonderful family and it sounds to me like you took on a lot of the guilt when you shouldn't have! You tried everything you knew how to do and that you should feel proud of! As if you hadn't and still got your girl you would always regret not trying! This wonderful baby girl is meant to be xxx and as Adia says keep the news to yourselves and come to terms with it behind closed doors x good luck and vent away it's good for you xx


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