Help on when is best to BD using fertility monitor

[atomic sagebrush]

I think by bd on first high and first peak the attempts would be 3 days apart.


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IF it works that day. It's a huge gamble tho in case of only one high - for ZERO payoff because 3 days before peak will be next to no chance of conception.

[HealthyGirl]

So assuming I do get 3 days of high and I do bd first day of high ( 3 days before peak/ ovulation) and you say chances of conception is low then shouldn't I technically not worry of this attempt of mine at O-3?
It seems as if you are concerned that I might bd at first high and get a peak a lotsooner than I anticipate making the attempts too


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[HealthyGirl]

Close to one another? Is that what you are trying to explain to me?


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[True Blue]

The concern is only that you just can't be sure whether you will get X amount of highs or peaks. I often varied high, low & peak days even though I used my monitor exactly as per instructions. So if you BD at 0-3 and O that is 2 attempts which lowers odds of pink whereas if you only BD once at first Peak you have both higher odds of pink and higher chance of conception.

It's your choice to make really just be aware you could have 6 months of L-L-H-H-H-P-P-H-L and the month of your attempt you could get totally different pattern.

[HealthyGirl]

Thanks trueblue


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[atomic sagebrush]

I am honestly at a loss as to where our communication is breaking down here but I feel like you are not getting the jist of the one attempt idea (as per our previous conversation). Please continue to ask until you understand.

One attempt is one attempt THAT CAN GET YOU PREGNANT. It doesn't seem to "count" if you can't get pregnant from it, attempts 2 months ago and 2 weeks ago are not relevant. Only attempts in the fertile window "count" and not all days in the fertile window are created equal in terms of odds of conception. BD that occurs 3,4,5 days before you ovulate, while technically you could possibly get pregnant from those days, the odds are pretty low and swaying reduces those chances still further because your vaginal environment may be more hostile and kill off most/all those swimmers. As a general rule I prefer everyone stick to the one attempt, but every 4 days is getting such good results that it is looking to me like an attempt on O-3/4 is not counting much if at all towards 2 attempts.

What we are trying to avoid (if we can) is having 3 attempts on days when you're quite fertile. Ideally you would stick with one attempt and ONLY one attempt in the entire fertile window, but you do not wish to do that (which is fine). So we're going to add an attempt. Your idea of BD O-3 and then again O-1 is the worst of BOTH worlds. If you really do get the 3 days of H, then P, then O the following day that attempt on O-3 gains you just about diddly squat in terms of upping conception.

My point is, if you're going to add an attempt, and possibly run the risk of lowering your odds of pink, then for goodness sake, make it one that can actually get you pregnant. And if you don't want to do that, if your desire and intention is sticking with one attempt, then don't take then chance that you will only get one H and then P the next day and have 2 attempts in your fertile microwindow. Forget the CBFM and just DTD every 4 days OR have only one attempt at peak, because there is no guarantee that you have 3 H readings before you go to peak. IT doesn't always work that way.

I feel like you're looking for some magical way to both up odds of conception and still maintain the "magic" of one attempt,but there just isn't any way to do that. If you want to add an attempt, ADD ONE when you have a good chance of conception. IF you want to keep with one attempt, don't mess around DTD on H days assuming you will get 3 H days after than, because you may not.

[atomic sagebrush]

The concern is only that you just can't be sure whether you will get X amount of highs or peaks. I often varied high, low & peak days even though I used my monitor exactly as per instructions. So if you BD at 0-3 and O that is 2 attempts which lowers odds of pink whereas if you only BD once at first Peak you have both higher odds of pink and higher chance of conception.

It's your choice to make really just be aware you could have 6 months of L-L-H-H-H-P-P-H-L and the month of your attempt you could get totally different pattern.

and not only is it lower odds of pink, it gains little to nothing for upping odds of conception. If you're going to take the risk of adding an attempt, for the love of criminy, make it one that actually has a decent shot of conception!!!

[HealthyGirl]

I totally understand it now atomic. Thanks so much for clarifying.
I will have ONE attempt at my first peak and will leave it at that for this cycle.


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[HealthyGirl]

One last advice that I need.
Once I get my first peak reading in the morning can I wait till that night to DTD? Or is that possibly late? ( bd in the am of first peak is gonna be pretty impossible).

Also my husband and I have very low sex drive. I know that we haven't bd in the last 3 weeks but not sure if he has done anything like a release.

Is this relevant to the sperm quality? Do I need to bring it him up to him and ask what he's done before our attempt?
Or should I go in it blindly and not even care.


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[atomic sagebrush]

you can wait til that night.

Abstaining a long time is never advisable, I would prefer all guys release at least once a week and any guy over 35 I prefer reg. release every 2-4 days to keep the swimmers fresh.

BD after a 3 week abstain may very well make getting pg totally unlikely. So that may have something to do with why you did not get pg yet.