Does it feel better? I feel so overwhelmed :(

[Kittybear]

It sounds like you're enjoying and bonding well with your son.

One thing you should consider is that you probably are a better person for having to had to broaden your interests to include mothering a little boy and you will probably continue to grow much more from this experience than from the experience of getting what you wanted a second time.

Nobody develops character by getting what they want immediately or every time.

So true, very well said. I often think I would have been the Smuggest of smugs (smug mother of girls) had I have not had my boys x

[Claire33]

So true, very well said. I often think I would have been the Smuggest of smugs (smug mother of girls) had I have not had my boys x

I agree, if I'd only had girls, I would have also probably had no problem telling everyone that I'm really happy to only have girls and not a boy. So I have been humbled beyond belief and am super super careful to make any gender comments, and if I do I try to be really positive.

Dreamplanner, I had to wait 8 years and 4 pregnancies to finally hear girl. And I still don't quite believe it and am half expecting to hear boy at my 20 week scan. I've never swayed, so all my pregnancies happened as the luck of the draw.

I think your "friend" sounds like she would make even the most content of boy moms feel like crap with her comments and attitude. So, find someone to hang out with who loves having boys, so you can be part of that vibe, rather than your 2-girl-mom friend who apparently has nothing good to say about a poor helpless little boy.

Little boys are also people with feelings and need just as much love and cuddles as a little girl. Your love is going to teach him to be a devoted father later in life, and your love will help him choose a kind and loving partner for his to share his life with. The more love he gets from you, the more he will be affectionate towards you, the more likely he will make wise choices later in life, and the more likely he will be a kind and caring human being. So don't ever think that you are not the most important relationship he has, because you are (and his daddy of course!).

[Kittybear]

^^^ beautiful, agree absolutely ^^^

OP: just wait Hun, this little boy will mesmerize you in time and you will have such fun together! This will all be a distant memory soon, I promise xx

[trifecta]

I agree, if I'd only had girls, I would have also probably had no problem telling everyone that I'm really happy to only have girls and not a boy. So I have been humbled beyond belief and am super super careful to make any gender comments, and if I do I try to be really positive.

Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure if I had a pigeon pair I would have been a total smug jerk.

[Bambi]

Regarding your friend, she may very well have wanted a boy herself and was jealous. Either way her comments to you were very rude and insensitive.

This was my first thought when I read your friend's comments about your son. People who are jealous make rude comments like this to make themselves feel better about the possible disappointment they are facing.

Having a daughter (even just one) has always been a dream of mine but it hasn't happened yet. I have 3 boys now and I would do anything to have a daughter. I've been through some serious GD with my 2nd and 3rd yet now I couldn't imagine my life without these 3 little boys. The fact that I dream of a girl doesn't take away the love I have for my boys. However, I too find myself sometimes feeling very disappointed and sad because of all this and feel I'm not present to my kids. It's sad because they're little only for a while and I can never have this time back. I don't want to look back to their first years realizing I spent those years grieving what I didn't have instead of concentrating to these little ones I actually have. But I know, it's easier said than done...



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[PrimalMamma]

I always pictured myself with either a pigeon pair or just girls. In 2 weeks, I will give birth to my third & last child - my third son. My sons are 6 & 4 & are the sweetest little humans in the world. They are forever cuddling me, kissing me, telling me I am beautiful & that they love me. My eldest son suddenly burst into tears when he realised that one day he is meant to leave home. There have been many surprising things to me about having sons; I was into music & performing as a child & my boys do martial arts. I have no interest in martial arts, but have been surprised to find that at demonstrations & gradings I end up weeping with pride the way I imagined I would watching my daughter sing & dance on stage. There are other practical advantages to having sons - I can't tell you how many times my girl mum friends have had to pack up & go home when one of their daughters needs the toilet, whereas my boys can sneak behind a tree [emoji12] Boys are great. You'll love him, I promise.


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[Dreamsplanner]

This is so true, I would have been inconsiderate if I had my two girls, I totally understand this and feel I am already humbled form the experience.

It sounds like you're enjoying and bonding well with your son.

One thing you should consider is that you probably are a better person for having to had to broaden your interests to include mothering a little boy and you will probably continue to grow much more from this experience than from the experience of getting what you wanted a second time.

Nobody develops character by getting what they want immediately or every time.

[Dreamsplanner]

Thank you everyone for the lovely support. I do know what you mean and I hope one day I will feel so much better. I know it takes time and my counselor did mention these feelings will crop up again and again and it's just how we deal with them that matters.

I wish everyone of us gets their wishes someday and we get a new baby girl if possible...

[pink_bean]

Thank you everyone for the lovely support. I do know what you mean and I hope one day I will feel so much better. I know it takes time and my counselor did mention these feelings will crop up again and again and it's just how we deal with them that matters.

I wish everyone of us gets their wishes someday and we get a new baby girl if possible...

It's true. The feelings can come and go. I know for me things can be going great and I'm in a good place and something triggers it. But you sound like you are working through your feelings and coming to acceptance. In time, I think you will see how much this little boy was meant for your family. That doesn't mean your hope for another daughter will disappear but your love for your son will only grow.

[XXforhubby]

I always pictured myself with either a pigeon pair or just girls. In 2 weeks, I will give birth to my third & last child - my third son. My sons are 6 & 4 & are the sweetest little humans in the world. They are forever cuddling me, kissing me, telling me I am beautiful & that they love me. My eldest son suddenly burst into tears when he realised that one day he is meant to leave home. There have been many surprising things to me about having sons; I was into music & performing as a child & my boys do martial arts. I have no interest in martial arts, but have been surprised to find that at demonstrations & gradings I end up weeping with pride the way I imagined I would watching my daughter sing & dance on stage. There are other practical advantages to having sons - I can't tell you how many times my girl mum friends have had to pack up & go home when one of their daughters needs the toilet, whereas my boys can sneak behind a tree [emoji12] Boys are great. You'll love him, I promise.


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You paint such a lovely picture Primal! I'm currently pregnant with number three and swayed girl for my DH. I secretly am hoping for a third boy! I love my boys and only wanted to have boys. I love everything about them and their energy. If this a DD I am carrying, I will be happy for DH (he had such BAD GD with DS2 [emoji20]), but I'll be sad to not have another boy. I'm hoping my happiness for DH will get me through. I had a solid sway so there is a good chance this bean is pink. Why couldn't this be BG twins. Sigh.

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