Infertility blues - need support

[LacePrincess]

No Chinese Medicine. That has caused more trouble for more women than any single thing I know of. They hand out some dangerous herbs and also things that really muck up cycles. For everyone who it seemed to work for, there are 10 other people who had trouble with it.

Acupuncture I think may help simply to lay down and relax for a few minutes and it does get some blood flowing, you may get the same benefits from a massage.

Glad you agree! I think too that most of it is a placebo/relaxation thing. I am SUPER SUPER SUPER phobic about being infected with icky needles at places that don't practice proper needle hygiene, so the whole idea of acupuncture is like OMG NO. LOL. Plus $$$!!

Besides, hubby gives an excellent massage. For free!

[LacePrincess]

Thank you Lace. Honestly I think my DH is in denial as well. I know it does not affect them in the same way it does for us. He doesn't really know I am swaying much per se but is pretty much always there to BD when I tell him and I know he would take whatever I asked. We were talking about doing a SA and of course as every man does, he thinks he is totally fine, but agreed to do an at home one and that came out normal but it does not test all of the factors, just the sperm count. SO if this cycle doesn't work, I am going to make him get one. I can't continue without him getting one. My ovarian reserve is very low so I am not a candidate for IVF and we could never afford it either.
I am thankful that we both have a place to vent because the pain of this is very real.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

*giant smooshy hugs* Djmommy. I know how you feel.

Men are often in denial, but also because they don't see any use in emotionally being so down about something that they can't 'fix'. I know it's practical and probably smarter, but as a woman I can't help it. It's in the very soul of my being, yk?

My DH knows very well that no matter what limits we set, if it came down to it I'd break it. At this point I refuse to set age limits anymore because with HT tech being what it is, you can keep trying so much later, and my RE even told me that 40 isn't necessarily quitting time! So yeah the only limits I have anymore are a) menopause (obviously!) and b) we simply CAN'T make another with our own DNA. Donor anything isn't an option for us at all.

Otherwise for things like finances, well I'd love to say I'll be fiscally responsible, but he and I both know if it came down to it I'd spend every last cent we could find and run up every credit card we had to keep trying as long as there was realistic hope. My view is, we have the rest of our lives to make money (and with DH's job he's only going to be more financially secure as time goes on) but I only have at most maaaaaybe 7-8 years to have babies. And once I'm too old, that's it for a LIFETIME. I can't for the sake of finances close the door on that, there just are no more second chances once I'm too old. Especially when we already know we're set for income/retirement in the future.

Okay I'll admit that I wouldn't go as far as selling the house, LOL. But a second mortgage? Heck if I had to, I would!

I'm also just swimming in a sea of blues this week because it's hitting me really hard on an existential basis. My LIFE is a mom and military wife. I have no career outside of it, and with hubby's job it calls for it - the whole 1950's housewife thing is kind of my reality. Which is fine but when I'm having infertility issues now, it just really really screws with my identity and my sense of my purpose in life, yk? It's like the thing I was MEANT to do, and loved to do, and now I can't. It's making me feel so damned listless and lost.

I want to find a new purpose, a new job/career, but logistically it's so damned hard. DH will be sent away for his next military posting in Aug, which means I won't have help with the boys, and I'm limited in job hunting since I could only work a few hours mid day while they're in school. I couldn't work after hours/weekends. I'd love to go back to study psychology in uni, but that's $$$$ and all our money needs to go into infertility stuff now. I feel like I'm stuck and so damned lonely.

I'm currently trying to find a local support group - and even that is difficult as hell because I have 3 kids, and well, most infertility groups would have little sympathy for me. I'm so lonely right now. I've cried daily this week because I feel so lost and alone right now. I am going to see the counsellor at the fertility centre too, and I hope that'll help.

Btw regarding the SA - it's a good idea to get a full one done, including the Kruger. My DH's count/motility are excellent! But.....morphology isn't. And morphology according to my RE can be a dealbreaker in natural conception. My RE thinks that's why we took so long to conceive naturally, likely a morphology issue. Unfortunately there's no easy fix for that one. I'm praying that Fertilaid has helped because if DH's morphology is still crap with his next SA, my RE is going to advise against IUI's. Which means if the cheaper non intervention methods (like Clomid, Femara, etc) don't work we're looking straight down the barrel of IVF again.

[Adia]

No Chinese Medicine. That has caused more trouble for more women than any single thing I know of. They hand out some dangerous herbs and also things that really muck up cycles. For everyone who it seemed to work for, there are 10 other people who had trouble with it.

Acupuncture I think may help simply to lay down and relax for a few minutes and it does get some blood flowing, you may get the same benefits from a massage.

I agree with Atomic. I developed an ovarian cyst that burst and I firmly believe it was from the chinese herbs.

HOWEVER, the acupuncture did seem to help. I do think opening energy fields can only help matters of infertility.

The herbs and the acupuncture are two different facets of TCM and one can be done without the other.