Please help me deal with gender disappointment

[fiveboys]

I was pretty devastated after all my 5 boys scans but as soon as I picked a name I felt a bond started... I also found that a 3d scan helped me and by the time I was 20 weeks I was happy n content.. your gonna be just fine hun..relax and enjoy xxx

[applesoup]

I think we make it worse on ourselves when we feel like we aren't allowed to feel a certain way because my best friend just delivered premature babies, my SIL struggles with infertility, etc. Yes, bad things happen in pregnancy--but it doesn't make your pain any less. You are allowed to feel this way--you do feel this way.

The hard part is managing the bitterness and dark cloud that comes with GD. And that is your choice--although, from personal experience, a very hard road.

You're not alone. You don't have to make family planning decisions today or even a few months from now. You will find a way to cope, to have peace, and to move forward. That's the hope in this.

Big hugs.

[Claire33]

Is there any way you could go HT in a few years, to ensure a girl?

I've been there, done that, 3 times. It really does get better in time. I love my boys with all my heart and can't imagine life without them. You are not alone, and you will be ok!

[Shenanigans]

I understand so so well. With my third boy I let them tell me during the ultrasound and after hearing couldn't even look at the screen anymore. It took all I had to hold back the tears until I got outside. I cried for a few days and it got better because I started to plan for number 4. This time though I decided to just let my husband know at the ultrasound and then he could tell me when we got to a baby store and thought picking it something cute would help. Nope, instead I left and cried on a bench alone for about 15 minutes. I know you aren't crying about him being a boy because for me it is about the loss of having a daughter. It will get better though, I promise. My 3rd son is so so special and so funny. I know it is cliche but I can't imagine not having him. He adds so much to our family and makes everyone, including strangers, etc laugh. Just keep faking it till you make it and plan for maybe number 3 to give you hope. Huge hugs.

[netti02]

4 boys later i know that feeling. I feel like im ungrateful and undeserving and so so bitter but ive come to learn that despite what other fertility problems couples out there are experiencing i am more than allowed to feel this way. One thing that helped was talking with DH. It led us on the path of trying to sway this 5th time which we've never done before but even now im confused as i was all for the shettles method. I do love all my boys.and they are a blessing but i one day prey for pink

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[babymamaj]

Oh I am sad for you. I was the same with my DS2. When they told me he was a boy at the ultrasound I smiled but I bawled the moment I got in the truck. I instantly started looking up gender disappointment because I didn't really know anything about it. I hadn't swayed, just assumed I would get a girl like everyone else!! (How silly right?!) I read a lot of good articles and realized it was ok to be sad and that it was normal and you can't help your feelings. Acknowledge them and feel them, cry, write down what you are feeling. It will get better. When they hand that baby boy to you it is just the most amazing thing. A new and different little person. Yes you already have a boy but this one is a different person! When you kiss his soft skin and smell his sweet head you will be in love. Yes you will always mourn the loss of a dream of having a girl but it will get better and you will love that little person so much. What is meant to be wil be.
Wow this made me feel better just writing it. I don't know yet if my 3rd is a boy or girl, I will find out in a few weeks hopefully but right now I am trying to prepare myself for hearing boy.