You have a son until he has a wife

[atomic sagebrush]

I honestly never heard this saying until I started visiting GD forums. My experience has been the opposite as the men in my family are the ones who take care of mom in old age. My mom has two sisters and she was saddled with full responsibility of taking care of her mother who had dementia and was dying. But she is also a nurse.

I think a lot of women who think having a baby girl is a guaranteed best friend, elderly care and consistent access to grandchildren might be bitterly disappointed when that doesn't pan out. It all boils down to how you raise them and their individual personalities. Not to mention the growing number of women opting out of motherhood themselves. grandchildren are not guaranteed.

I personally agree that it's better for our kids to focus on their own families. I hope I have a good relationship with my sons when they are adults but I don't expect them to take care of me or anything. And I hope they put their families before me. It's kind of selfish to expect the opposite.

Totally agree and I know I said this a zillion times but in both my and my husband's family it has always been the men who took care of the elderly parents while the women left to go with their husband or their career.

[Babygirlquest]

My hubby is still such a mummy's boy. He helps her whenever he can.

And I totally agree about wanting our kids to have separate lives. I was barely 21 when I had my first! If he is the same age when he has his kid then I'll only be 42 and still working, definitely not wanting to be looked after by him or anything like that!!!

I think if you love your children and create great bonds with them then they always come back to you, to see you or just because they need you. That has nothing to do with gender. The women in our family are very independent, until I saw this saying I would have assumed everyone would have believed the opposite to be true!

[atomic sagebrush]

EXACTLY!! I was 21 years old when I had my first son!!! I still have a lot of life left in me, like I'm supposed to be going around with my hair in curlers just waiting for him to call...NOPE!!! He is 24 now and I had a 3 year old when I was his age. I"m not totally sure I'd have been ready to be a granny at 42 - I had a baby myself that age!!

[atomic sagebrush]

this sounds horrible but one of my happiest moments was seeing my mom drive away from my college dorm. It's not that I don't love her, of course I do, but I wanted to do my own thing then!

Honestly, none of my parents ever helped me with my family anyway. With my first two they were still busy working and raising their own kids. With my younger ones, they seem old enough now so that I would worry a little when they were babies, like it might be too much for them or something, and then by the time they're old enough so I feel ok having them watch them, the kids are already so old they can practically take care of themselves anyway. :/ Especially my MIL just doesn't seem capable of taking care of a baby on her own, yk?? so there is a very narrow window there anyway and a lot of parents just wouldn't ever be into it anyway. My dad and stepmom aren't the "babysitting" kind even when they were young.