I am sick of this

[momamia4]

I'm sure part of my difficulty this time too is that she's due only 6 days after my DS3 was born. He died when he was 15 weeks old. With her DD1, she was induced 2 weeks early (I have no idea why) and gave birth the day after DS4's birthday. She tried really hard to have her DD on the same day as my DS4. I think she's going to try to get induced on my DS3's birthday. If she does that, I don't think I'll be able to speak to them anymore. I don't think she is capable of understanding the depth of my sadness and possessiveness of that day. It would be like she was trying to say that DS3 never existed or that her DC is more important. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm praying that she doesn't do that. That somewhere inside of her is some compassion for me. Sadly, I don't think she has any.

[maidentomother]

That is awful Momamia.

[The Anchor]

How awful moma, I'm so sorry. And so sorry for your loss too, why did he pass?

[trifecta]

Momamia, I'm so sorry about your son. It's completely understandable that you would want his birthday to remain a day of remembrance for him.

[Ttc2015]

Your SIL sounds delightful! I'm so sorry about your son, of course this makes it harder for you. Completely different, but my SIL is due the day before my birthday - DH thought it would be lovely if the baby arrived on my birthday, em no, that's my day!!!

[momamia4]

How awful moma, I'm so sorry. And so sorry for your loss too, why did he pass?

Thank you all for your support. He died of early acute broncopneumonia. I think it was actually SIDS. Just because he died with fluid in his lungs does not mean that he died of fluid in his lungs. He seemed perfectly healthy. I put him to bed just like every night. A few hours later, I went to check on him and he was dead. It was my worst nightmare come true. I know that my brother in law and his wife feel like they did something to cause it because they babysat for him that night. I put him to bed right after we got back from a meeting. It was horrible. I don't blame them at all. He always sounded funny from birth. He had a very weak cry that sounded like a kitten meowing softly. Everyone would comment on it. I think there was something wrong with his lungs. I asked the doctor about it tons of times and he just kept telling me that all babies have different cries. Shortly after my son died, that doctor moved to a different state and became a geriatric doctor. I thought it was fishy and still regret that we never sued. I took Luke to the doctor the day before he died and the doctor told me he was perfectly healthy.

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[maidentomother]

That does sound very suspicious. I think you are probably right about his lungs being weak from birth. Trust those maternal instincts. I'm so sorry you lost him.

[momamia4]

Thank you maiden.

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[XXforhubby]

My heart just breaks for you! I too believe that his lungs weren't as strong as they needed to be from birth. Shame on all the professionals who dismissed your concerns! Lung function tests are non-invasive and could have picked up a problem. His doctor was plain awful! It's incredibly suspicious that he switched to geriatrics after his death. Was he a board certified pediatrician or was he a family practice doctor?

You are such an amazing person and mother from all you have been through! Huge hugs!!


[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602] completes our family![emoji170]

[momamia4]

Xxforhubby, he was a family practice doctor. Our entire family (including my parents and siblings) all went to him. We all saw him for about 15 years! He liked us and used to spend extra time with us. That's why I didn't really question him. It's also why my family discouraged us from suing him.

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