Everyone thinks I'm having a boy, but...

[Mamato3?]

I'm 15w now and we haven't told anyone, except 2 close friends. The reason is exactly what you say. The comments... especially by my DH's family who only care for boys and having a girl is just unfortunate let's say....Imagine 3 girls. I really would love a boy but a healthy baby is above all. That's why we decided to announce the pregnancy along with gender so that I can put up with their comments (for sure they will be let down by me that I haven't been able to produce a male offspring to their son) only once... I would flip if every time I met them they would make comments about baby's possible gender. I honestly wouldn't handle 7 months of them saying "Oh let's hope this time you made it and this is a boy". I wish healthy pregnancy and delivery to all of us!!!!

[Throwaway_panther]

Throw_away Panther, if it's any consolation I have also suffered similarily to you and have a lot of the same feelings about life as a girl/woman. But I still wanted a daughter very much for many reasons including having a "do over" of sorts. Meaning protecting and loving a daughter in the way that I wasn't. I understand your fears. I think as parents though we are terrified our children will suffer the things we did as kids. Even with my boys, I have a terrible fear they will be bullied or not accepted. I worry they will be taken advantage of by people or obviously worse things. I know it's hard now but I believe it will be different for you once she's here. Your fears won't go away completely but maybe raising her can help to heal you from all you suffered.

This really reached me. I can't thank you enough pink_bean ♡

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[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! I won't be telling anyone prior though -- I'm actually not sure I get why I would? I won't be having to tell people over and over... they'll know by announcement or when they actually meet my baby!

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It's because you have a lot going on at that point in time and may not be up for dealing with other people's bullshit. Better for them to know ahead of time and then no one is coming in saying "oh I was so sure you were having a boy" when you need to be 110% on task for taking care of your new daughter.

[Throwaway_panther]

It's because you have a lot going on at that point in time and may not be up for dealing with other people's bullshit. Better for them to know ahead of time and then no one is coming in saying "oh I was so sure you were having a boy" when you need to be 110% on task for taking care of your new daughter.

Ah, I hadn't thought about it that way. Part of me feels solace (and even joy) being able to go afterwards, "See! How you carry and other OWT are NOT scientific!" Especially when, if asked, I coyly say, "I think it's a girl." I've been told to my face, "Nope." Only one of my SIL thinks it's a girl now because I think she's on to me, haha.

I don't know. I processed this topic over the last few days. I will definitely keep the sex to myself until perhaps the last minute -- I'm hoping the joy you all keep saying comes with a baby will carry me through any dumb comments post-birth.

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[atomic sagebrush]

I will tell you, I have had that same experience not only with pregnancy but with LOTS of other things in life. It is an art form to decide, "I am going to allow other people to be wrong" because no one likes that chick that goes around saying "I told you so." (Trust me. Hermione Granger has nothing on me.) Every time it happens, try to tell yourself you are cultivating a more mature and superior attitude where you allow other people to simply be wrong and blissful in their fog of incorrectness - instead of taking it as a personal affront that you must correct, imagine that you are graciously allowing them the joy of thinking that they are right for a while and then the arrival of the baby herself will disabuse them of any notion otherwise. It is a gift that you give to them. I have found repeatedly that people will believe what they believe and all the evidence in the world will not sway them until such a point in time as they are ready to be swayed. and that's ok - just remember it reflects on them, and you are made of teflon and it doesn't touch you. You give them the gift of wrongness.

[Boom]

We didn't even tell our parents about this pregnancy till we knew it was a girl. After our daughter died last year I just couldn't have dealt with ANY speculation this time with a brave smile.

[atomic sagebrush]

I did not tell anyone I was pregnant till I knew it was a girl, either. Just didn't want the stress over the speculation.

[Throwaway_panther]

I will tell you, I have had that same experience not only with pregnancy but with LOTS of other things in life. It is an art form to decide, "I am going to allow other people to be wrong" because no one likes that chick that goes around saying "I told you so." (Trust me. [emoji14] Hermione Granger has nothing on me.) Every time it happens, try to tell yourself you are cultivating a more mature and superior attitude where you allow other people to simply be wrong and blissful in their fog of incorrectness - instead of taking it as a personal affront that you must correct, imagine that you are graciously allowing them the joy of thinking that they are right for a while and then the arrival of the baby herself will disabuse them of any notion otherwise. It is a gift that you give to them. I have found repeatedly that people will believe what they believe and all the evidence in the world will not sway them until such a point in time as they are ready to be swayed. and that's ok - just remember it reflects on them, and you are made of teflon and it doesn't touch you. You give them the gift of wrongness.

I don't think I could like a post more. Thank you atomic!! (And haha, boy do I feel you on the Hermione comment... [emoji28])

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[Lissastick]

So I know I'm the minority on these boards, so I apologize if I upset anyone: just know in advance, I am pregnant with a girl... but I really, really wanted a boy. Still struggle with really wanting a boy. It's our first child, and we plan to have more, but I (thought it might seem crazy) have a lot of fears of my husband being older/getting older, my thyroid issues can rear up at any time, etc.

Though we know the sex, only a handful of people know with us -- partially because I didn't feel strong enough to deal with ANY comments on the sex, and also because (a bit selfishly), we've been told that going gender neutral before the baby shower = you getting stuff you actually need vs. cute clothes.

Well, because I keep telling people, "it's a surprise!" they all try to guess. I have not gotten a single girl guess.

EVERYBODY thinks I'm having a boy -- based on how I'm carrying, based on my cravings, based on my hair, based on my PERSONALITY (I guess that whole "Martha" thing carries over in general), based on my husband (manly man~). I feel very confident that my next pregnancies will never rely on OWT based on how this one's gone, that's for sure! In fact, the closest guess to me having a girl was one of my sister's sarcastically going, "All of your stuff points boy -- it'll probably be a girl."

Part of me sometimes feels like being able to shock everyone with a girl will be appealing, but these comments make me feel so... wrong. Like I agree with them, "Yes, this SHOULD be a boy -- I wanted a boy!" Which is so horrible to think of my poor future daughter. And I've even had a few people go, "What do you want? You want a boy, don't you?" Like I'm so transparently a "boy mom," yet I'm having a girl?

I don't know -- I don't know how to feel when I constantly here, "I think it's a boy!" I do know that I'm glad I found out the sex, because having all of these guesses would make me more confident it'd be a boy, and I'd probably be WAY more upset at delivery.

This sounds EXACTLY what I am going through...except I really want a girl. But *everyone* keeps telling me that I'm having a boy. And I want to believe them because if I tell myself they are wrong, and I found out everyone is right, I think I will crumble into a ball. And I'm thinking my GD will be 1,000 times worse because I just want to prove everyone wrong and tell the world that I've got my girl! I feel like I can't make girls. I know that isn't true. But, this baby is our last as my husband said NO to a third child. And really, I've always only wanted two children as well.

I have been flirting the idea that it's a girl, but, I keep stopping myself from thinking that because if/when I find out it's another boy, I will not be as upset.

This is just so hard. I really wish I didn't feel this way. My husband says he has no preference. I wish I could be like that!!!!

[Throwaway_panther]

This sounds EXACTLY what I am going through...except I really want a girl. But *everyone* keeps telling me that I'm having a boy. And I want to believe them because if I tell myself they are wrong, and I found out everyone is right, I think I will crumble into a ball. And I'm thinking my GD will be 1,000 times worse because I just want to prove everyone wrong and tell the world that I've got my girl! I feel like I can't make girls. I know that isn't true. But, this baby is our last as my husband said NO to a third child. And really, I've always only wanted two children as well.

I have been flirting the idea that it's a girl, but, I keep stopping myself from thinking that because if/when I find out it's another boy, I will not be as upset.

This is just so hard. I really wish I didn't feel this way. My husband says he has no preference. I wish I could be like that!!!!

This is what I was referencing to you in your thread!

I think you should find out the sex when you can to overcome those external comments. But just as you saw: plenty thought I was having a boy and I had a girl. Even after this thread I'd have complete strangers go, "Having a boy?"

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