How to cope when one by one your friends are getting their girl

[Inforthree]

Yep I can relate to that conundrum too. I have moments where I think I could just be happy with what I have. My husband would be happy to be done too. But I think it would always wonder what if. I've been slowly easing into my sway for months and thinking about it for years so I feel like I owe it to myself too. 3 is definitely our limit so I think I'll be happier knowing I tried regardless of the outcome. I told my husband if we don't try now I can see myself bringing this up again in a few years. We'd both rather keep our kids closer together.

I think my rock bottom was finding out DS2 was a boy. I thought that was our last shot, I didn't realize how upset I'd be, and only then understood I was assuming it would be a girl. Now I understand what I'm getting into what I'll gain and what I'll lose either way I won't be so taken off guard. I just was reeling from the thought of never having a daughter and realizing I never really thought it was a possibility (stupid as that sounds, obviously it was a possibility) but I guess I didn't think it was for me for whatever reason. It was hard to come to grips with. #3 would be a bonus, I never thought it would happen at all and I've given it a lot of thought so I doubt it will be as bad as being blindsided by GD. I hope...

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[GlitterMouse]

Yep I can relate to that conundrum too. I have moments where I think I could just be happy with what I have. My husband would be happy to be done too. But I think it would always wonder what if. I've been slowly easing into my sway for months and thinking about it for years so I feel like I owe it to myself too. 3 is definitely our limit so I think I'll be happier knowing I tried regardless of the outcome. I told my husband if we don't try now I can see myself bringing this up again in a few years. We'd both rather keep our kids closer together.

I think my rock bottom was finding out DS2 was a boy. I thought that was our last shot, I didn't realize how upset I'd be, and only then understood I was assuming it would be a girl. Now I understand what I'm getting into what I'll gain and what I'll lose either way I won't be so taken off guard. I just was reeling from the thought of never having a daughter and realizing I never really thought it was a possibility (stupid as that sounds, obviously it was a possibility) but I guess I didn't think it was for me for whatever reason. It was hard to come to grips with. #3 would be a bonus, I never thought it would happen at all and I've given it a lot of thought so I doubt it will be as bad as being blindsided by GD. I hope...

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Are you actually me inforthree??? Seriously, your post was exactly my feelings and experiences...exactly... If I had written it down, that is how it would have read. I LOVE the empathy you can find on this site. Thanks for putting it all into words.

In actual fact, I have just had a text from a friend, asking how I am, how are my lovely boys, how are they getting on etc etc She was my partner in crime, fellow boy mum. We always discussed the nasty comments made by others, how lucky we are to have boys and how we never appreciated it before but how lucky we are to have experienced boys... She has baby number three in her tummy. A girl. We haven't had much contact for a while, busy lives, work, kids etc. I've been very gracious, I'm very, very pleased for her to be having a girl. But wow! I could feel the vomit rising and the tears welling when I read that text. I'm very envious that she is through this and is moving on to more contented times where she can be at peace with herself and her family.

Too scared to TTC, too scared not to.

Just when I thought I was getting over this...

[jennypenny]

Too scared to TTC, too scared not to.

TOTALLY relate too this!!!

[trifecta]

At this point I cannot allow myself to imagine how happy other people must be when they get one of each, which is my particular trigger. It just hurts to much.

Now when it comes up I try to remind myself that getting what you want isn't the only way of getting a happy ending. Getting what you thought you wanted isn't even necessarily for the better, in the long run. Sour grapes maybe but it's also the truth.

[GlitterMouse]

You're SO right trifecta. Its definitely about the long game. Having a daughter does not guarantee a life-long, wonderful relationship that you could not have with sons. Life throws up things all the time. I don't think that's sour grapes at all, its actually a really good coping mechanism and a way of getting things into perspective. I would say that I feel like this 90% of the time. However, there are just those arresting triggers that grab you sometimes. A cliche I know but life is definitely an emotional rollercoaster!